I am not talking body language or innuendo/hints, where i am either
inept or dimwitted a bit.
I mean what seems to be happening in the last 50 years, not long long ago when women had fewer rights and there were seldom divorces.
When kids are involved in a marriage or long term relationship, the situation financially has worsen over time. In the olden times, he worked
and she stayed at home and took care of the kids. In my generation, 1 1/2 worked, i.e. she worked 1/2 time at home while also taking take of the kids. Now, both have to work even if they don't have kids a lot with these ridiculous house prices if you buy one that is big enough to allow kids eventually. When kids do come along, either one works in the day time
and the other at night, or both work in the day, you hire someone to take care of the kids in the day, and you risk not knowing your kids.
Well, that isn't the main subject of this essay. I'm mostly talking here about situation of no kids.
Youngsters up to 22 are just controlled by their hormones and society's picky morals sometimes. It's nice to experiment just a little bit, but
they can't really support themselves well if they have sex a lot unless marry a rich man / woman, so they need to either stifle their sexual
instincts and develop a good job either via gift of gab or family/friend "connections", OR go to college or at least technical institute 18 months, more preferably 4 year college. Of course it is hard to put off sex for 4 years.
Of course a lady can get into the sex industry but that opportunity doesn't last forever and is somewhat risky. I suggest webcam or strip joint rather than prostitution if necessary. A lot of ladies want to be professional dancers and this is where they get their start, or so they say.
By age 28 a person is expected to be at least "responsible for their actions", if not totally dependable. Totally diligent is better, but few are since companies are not loyal to their employees. Of course, that means may have to move around a lot from city to city unless
have gift of gab or political savvy in the workplace, or you have high tech skills.
By age 38 a lady can still magnetize a man and get him started, but if she does not put out in some fashion he eventually gets discouraged
and goes away.
By age 50 a lady needs to have done one of the following:
1. developed a successful career of her own, so
she can kick out the bum if necessary
2. had a wonderful marriage and then he dies, so
she has good credibility to easily get a
second. also her looks must still be OK.
3. been married to a rich man and regardless of
what happens he will leave her well off most
likely
4. gotten a good divorce settlement, where of
course they had kids and she can ripoff the
man that way
5. perhaps she may need to lower her standard of
living if the man is her age or older and not
an executive or indispensible in his company,
because he generally can't command as great a
salary at that age, and could likely get laid
off etc.
6. marry a younger man with good prospects
7. they move out of the country to a less
expensive place and live on their savings
from the US
There are other options but these seem to be the most basic and reasonable, if you call it that.
By age 60 she is about to retire -- at 63. But if she is relying on social security here could be a hitch. And incidentally a young woman that marries a much older man can't collect until she
gets 63 and by then his social security although valuable when she was younger and he supported her on it, is now just a pittance. Also, a young lady who marries a much older man, or vice versa,
should consider up front negotiating that when she reaches age 40 they will get divorced, she can remarry, and they will remain platonic friends if the 2nd husband is not too jealous. A lady gets to choose either on her own social security from earnings or a percentage of any husband that she was married to for 10 years.
So let's hope he doesn't die before the 10 years are up.
Well, any way the stretch from 50 to 63 has problems for someone not rich and also the stretch from 73 on has problems. I'm assuming
here that you are not rich and don't inherit riches. By rich I mean perhaps 5 million, not just one million, unless like me you are willing
to die rather than spend the one million on hospital costs.
Social security isn't enough to live on. You need to have at least some investments paid off, like a company retirement from 10 years or more likely 20 at least.
If retired at 50, even with your company retirement, many times it does not come with medical insurance and purchaseing the
individual policies is quite expensive plus worse if in ill health or develop ill health. I got lucky, it was provided with my modest
10 year retirement on my last job, free. My sister who just retired qualifies for a great company retirement, but unfortunately can't collect on it until a few years down the road.
The stretch from 73 on is a doozy and gets worse as you get older and older if you don't have that modest company retirement and free medical insurance to cover the 20% that medicare in social security does not cover in their health insurance. A fixed retirement amount in my opinion is better than a fixed contribution amount because the latter is invested a lot in the stock market and we know how that goes in cycles. You might need it just when the prices are down.
Two can live more cheaply than one, unless one gets horribly sick and needs a million dollar operation to survive well or survive at all.
I won't take a million dollar operation no matter what my chances are of good life thereafter, it is just a waste of resources. I'll just quietly go home and live out my last days as best i can with pain medicine to which i fortunately react very well, unlike some people
who can't hardly take any medicine and are basically tortured as a result when in the hospital.
When people marry and one has medical insurance, usually the insurance company will take their new spouse on for $100 if done immediately
without any medical checks, but if they wait until later then they have to pass eligibility requirements on their health. This might be
a reason to avoid getting married until the health issue arises and then immediately do it then. Of course many folks immediately dump their spouses/living mates when a health issue arises also...
Social security currently goes up a little bit each year, but not likely to cover the cost of living increase.
Getting on "disability social security", at whatever age, is not what you really want to do. But it does at least come with medicare after just a few months, so solves that problem of health insurance mostly. What is the best
scenario possible is you are sick but if not working have less stress and actually become less sickly but would immediately become
more sickly if you have to start working again,
so that you can enjoy some lifestyle. If you work more than just part-time they take you off of disability social security.