MiChElLe's blog: "Silly LiL MaMa.."

I've been distance with my friends these past few days and i am so sorry about that... Well you all know that i broke up with my BF last monday... Well i thought if i did that i'll be happy but, rite now i feel like shit and i thought i am better off with out him.. I am not expecting for any pain.. I dated Mike back in 2002 then we broke up in 2006 then we started dating again last March 2007.. but then again i thought it will work out but it didn't i wasn't happy because of the fact that he works everyday 17hrs a day.. He has no time for me.. I don't know but like i said i am sorry for not being around lately.. Take care..

Have you ever felt that you’re not important at all…??? Have you ever felt that no body likes you and cares about you….??? Have you ever asked your self what does that girl have/had that I don’t have/had…??? Have you ever asked your self if that the person you really like/love cares about you??? When am I going to find the right person for me..??? Dammit I know that my friends and family kept telling me that I will find that person soon just be patient.. Shit that guy need to get the FUCK out his house and meet me.. For the love of GOD I am tired of fucked up GUYS.. Sorry for being to honest… My friends kept telling me that I am pretty cool chick but, yet I just can’t have the person that I want… I’m sick of games, hook- ups, the set ups, the fuck ups guys who only want’s one thing,,,, the guy who doesn’t know what the fuck he wants.. The guy who does but, won’t admit it…. I just want the real thing… Why did I ever let my self got it to this bullshit,….???

The first time we talked there was something about you…. As we talked on the phone you had my full attention hoping you would say those words… The next day when I got to hang out with you was more than I ever expected… When I looked into your eyes I knew there was nowhere else I wanted to be…. Lying in your arms I realized that I might never get the chance to feel this way again.. So I decided that if being with you and hangout with you was a risk then I was willing to take it… After I left hat night so many thoughts ran through my mind.. I wondered if you were feeling exactly the same way I was…? I wanted to know what it was that was going on inside your head….I was hoping that what I was feeling was more than just butterflies in my tummy… I spent the whole night/ nights thinking what would happen next… I realized that nothing was like I ever expected it to be.. Once I figured out what was truly going on inside my heart.. There were so many things that I wanted to say to you… I wanted to let you know how much you truly meant to me…I wanted to tell you that I wasn't sure if I could make it without you… But, at first I just couldn't find that words to say exactly how I feel… I was afraid to let you know that you had found a way inside… I'm worried that if I let you know how I feel… But, I took a risk and let you know how much you truly meant to me… Now that you know how I feel I'm so scared that you'll just fade away… But no matter what happened I want you to know something I need you to know that I would never trade you for anything… I would take a thousand painful moments just to spend the rest of my life with you….. What ever decision you make/made I will always cherish all the memories that we had...

I want to be the one
You see in your dreams,
The one that wont make everything
Rip open at the seams.
I want to be the one
That makes you happy inside,
The one you run to
When the world makes you wanna hide.
I want to be the first one you look for
When you walk in a crowd,
The one you miss
When Im not around.
I want to be the one
You show off to your friends,
The one you wont leave standing alone
With no one to cry to in the end.
I want to be the one
Who picks you up when you fall,
The one you want to talk to,
The first one youll call.
I want to be the one you look at
And say shes the one