Dear Boys & Girls.
I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been
good this year and since you have I will be telling my favorite
elf Randy to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at
Christmas.
I was going to bring you all the gifts from the 12 days of
Christmas, but we had a little problem.
The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with the clap from
fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have
knocked up the 8 maids a-milking and the 9 pipers piping have
been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming.
The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle
doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled
runners in bird dunn. On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going
through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat and the elves
have joined the gay liberation movement.
Maybe next year I will be able to get my stuff together and bring
you the things you want.
Santa
