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Randy's blog: "Randy's Blog"

created on 12/10/2006  |  http://fubar.com/randy-s-blog/b32953

Hospital

I'll be going into the hospital on July 23 to get a stent put into my heart also stents in my legs to many blood clots. I'll let everybody know how it goes.

36th Anniversary

Hey my cousin is having there 36th Anniversary today and plaese drop by and leave her a message. Yellow Rose
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@ CherryTAP
I got a insured package the other day from my cousin from NM she sent me all of my dads Navy stuff when he was in the Navy between 1925-1930 all of his Navy buddies and what ships they were on also he took pictures of going through the Panama Canal about 1928 also pictures he took when he was in Shanghi, China about 1928 or 29 I have about 100 pictures and this is a treasure chest to get this.

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood was going through the forest to her Grandmother's house when she came across a squirrel. The squirrel said, "Watch out, the Big Bad Wolf is looking for you, and when he finds you, he's going to flip up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties and screw your brains out!" Little Red Riding Hood ignored the squirrel's warning and continued down the road to her Grandmother's house. Soon she encountered a sparrow, who said, "Little Red Riding Hood, look out, the Wolf is after you, and when he finds you, he's going to flip up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties and screw your brains out!" Little Red Riding Hood ignored the sparrow and continued to Grandma's house. As she got to the front gate, the wolf jumped out from behind a bush and said "Little Red Riding Hood, I'm going to flip up your little red skirt, pull down your little red panties and screw your brains out!" Little Red Riding Hood reached into her basket, pulled out her pistol and put it to the Wolf's nose. "No, you're going to eat me like the storybook says.

Santas Letter

Dear Boys & Girls. I have been watching you very closely to see if you have been good this year and since you have I will be telling my favorite elf Randy to make some goodies for me to leave under your tree at Christmas. I was going to bring you all the gifts from the 12 days of Christmas, but we had a little problem. The 12 fiddlers fiddling have all come down with the clap from fiddling with the 10 ladies dancing, the 11 lords leaping have knocked up the 8 maids a-milking and the 9 pipers piping have been arrested for doing weird things to the 7 swans a-swimming. The 6 geese a-laying, 4 calling birds, 3 French hens, 2 turtle doves and the partridge in a pear tree have me up to my sled runners in bird dunn. On top of all this Mrs. Claus is going through menopause, 8 of my reindeer are in heat and the elves have joined the gay liberation movement. Maybe next year I will be able to get my stuff together and bring you the things you want. Santa

The Cowboy Boots

The Cowboy Boots (Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this) Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, "Teacher, they're on the wrong feet." She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, "These aren't my boots." She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, "Why didn't you say so?", like she wanted to. Once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, "They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em." Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, "Now, where are your mittens?" He said, "I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots." She will be eligible for parole in three years.
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