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Cannot believe i am going to post this, but it appeals to my sense of humour.
Tired of constantly being broke, and stuck in an unhappy marriage,
a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a
large insurance policy on his wife (with himself as the beneficiary),
and arranging to have her killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in
touch with a nefarious underworld figure, who went by the name
of "Artie". Artie explained to the husband that his going price for
snuffing out a spouse was $5,000. The husband said he was
willing to pay that amount, but that he wouldn't have any cash
on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie
insisted on being paid SOMETHING up front. The man opened
up his wallet, displaying the single dollar bill that rested inside.
Artie sighed, rolled his eyes, and reluctantly agreed to accept
the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed. A few days later,
Artie followed the man's wife to the local Safeway grocery store.
There, he surprised her in the produce department, and proceeded
to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting
woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager
of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the scene.
Unwilling to leave any witnesses behind, Artie had no choice but
to strangle the produce manager as well. Unknown to Artie, the
entire proceedings were captured by hidden cameras and
observed by the store's security guard, who immediately called
the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could leave
the store. Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie
revealed the sordid plan, including his financial arrangements
with the hapless husband. And that is why, the next day in the
newspaper, the headline declared: "ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR
A DOLLAR AT SAFEWAY."
