LiPsPaRaLyZeR's blog: "Sadness!!"

Well this morning another family member has passed away... This is my second loss this year and my 5th since January 07' My Aunt was 55 married for 37 years 3 grown kids and 3 grand kids... She has been living with Multiple Sclerosis for 25+ years and her fight with this disease is over... The Dr's are unaware of exactly why she decelerated so quickly. She went to the hospital a couple weeks ago because of a UTI and then she got a bowel infection... She had an irregular heart rate on Sunday... Monday she went to ICU... She remained in ICU Tuesday morning about 12:30am her kidney's started to not work properly so they had her on dialysis from 4am yesterday till she passed away this morning... There is a song I would like to dedicate to her to you... If you haven't seen the bucket list you should watch it... This song is SAY by John Mayer... Life is short... If you love someone tell them if you don't and you are living a lie are you really living? Be honest with yourself and the ones around you cause in the end You will see how well you treated others by the outcome of your life history...

Music Video: Say by (John Mayer)

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This young kid died days after he graduated high school.. Loved by many missed by more...

Last night a local died in a jetski accident.. He was 18 he and a friend were riding on the same jetski and they crashed into another jetski.. JT was what we all knew this kid by.. went to go last night.. unsure what was the cause of death thus far because they are not sure if it was the head trauma or if because he was unconsious when he was submerged in the water for 20 mins before rescue personal arrived... There will be an autopsy to determine his death sometime today... He Graduated from High School Saturday.. he was loved my many a great friend and a great student.. loved basketball.. He played for the varsity team for 2 years.. They had a Candle lighting for him tonight at the highschool... School was out yesturday.. Summer vacation for everyone.. The other 2 in the accident suffered from broken collar bones

Back on January 2nd there was 2 fires one at a mill and the other at my Best Friends place... she was like a sister to me... Her mother and step father lived in the building along with her sister brother in law and nephews on the third floor another resident not related to my family!!! The fires on this day killed my Best friend and our nephew whom wanted to sleep over her house... along with them passing the third floor gentleman died as well... so far that was the only fire that took the lives of innocent people... There was another one in February when i went to visit... None in march!!! Another fire also in may!! Un occupied building!!! Just last there were two fires set one behind the police station and the other not to far from there!!! this is just crazy..we just found out last week that the one in January that killed my sister and nephew was arson!!! Tell me what you think!!! should my family move out of that town...

THANK YOU EVERYONE!!! IT MEANT ALOT TO ME FOR ALL THE RATES AND COMMENTS.. I DID ALOT OF CRYING LAST NIGHT MORE CRYING THAN I DID IN JANUARY WHEN THEY PASSED... I KNOW WHY I DIDN'T CRY AS MUCH AS I SHOULD HAVE IN JANUARY.. I HAD SO MUCH TO DO I REALLY DIDN'T TAKE THE TIME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.. WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE PLANNING A FUNERAL FOR TWO YOUNG SOULS IT'S HARD AND I WOULDN'T SHOVE THAT ON MY WORST ENEMY.. HOWEVER I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD TO MAKE THE PLANS AND ARRANGEMENTS BECAUSE THE MOTHERS OF BOTH THE LOST HAD ONE WISH... FOR THE FUNERAL TO BE IN MY LOCATION AND THEY WERE STUCK EITHER STILL IN THE HOSPITAL OR WITH-OUT A VEHICLE BECAUSE THE FIRE BLEW THEIR CARS UP... AND I WAS THE ONE INTRUSTED WITH THE PLANNING CAUSE I WOULD DO IT ALL THEIR WAY AND NOT BE SELFISH... OTHER FAMILY MEMBERS HOWEVER WOULD HAVE DONE IT THEIR WAY AND WOULDN'T CARE LESS... I DID WHAT I HAD TO AND I SHOVED DONE THE PAIN AND THE HURT AND THE GRIEF I FELT TO GET THROUGH THAT PART OF MY LIFE.. AND LAST NIGHT... WELL LAST NIGHT IT ALL CAME OUT!!! I SPENT 3 HOURS CRYING, THINKING, MISSING THEM... THANK YOU ALL... MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL!!! LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO NOT LOVE SOMEONE, TAKE THE CHANCE ON THAT SPECIAL SOMEONE!!! YOU MIGHT BE SURPRISED!!!

Thank you everyone viewing my blog it means alot to me... The tears are falling and the thoughts are fantastic.. My Heart needs healing... My heart may not heal right away but i do however wish i could have a little soothing.. Just be seeing my friends rating my blog helps... I know that this is not a way to actually cope.. but i need to say it even if i can't say it out loud... I used to write alot.. I think i stopped because no-one ever read what i wrote.. It was just words on a paper... I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!! Thank you!!!

I need to get this out.. My heart is aching more than usual... Or then again maybe it's just now that i am allowing myself to feel what is hurting me... I miss my friend my sister!!! My poor nephew who was so young leaving this world... I don't know why i am writing this blog.. Maybe i just need to write what i feel so i don't have to keep it locked up inside anymore... My Family I can't talk to about anything cause if i do it makes me weak... I don't think of myself as weak just a very emotional person and i don't see anything wrong with showing emotion.. I do everything for everyone else but never take time for myself.. It's getting harder and harder to hide my tears... They are flowing as i write this blog right now... I just wanna get everything out so i don't have to feel this pain anymore... But I know that will not happen because It's something that can never change... MY sister will always be gone as well as my nephew!! If anyone wants to help me figure out another way to release my anger and sadness please i am up for anything as far as advice.. Thank you