Sylent's blog: "Randomness at it's Best"

I stole this from Mistress Pantther.  This actually made me smile and it's nice to know that Nice Guys are still appreciated.  Thank you!

 

This is one of those chain emails but I don't care if a million people repost it. I don't believe in that bs but I DO know this is what I want in a guy!!And to the nice guys out there I APPRECIATE YOU!!

 

To every guy that's said, "Sex CAN wait" To every guy that's said, "You're beautiful." To every guy that was never too busy to drive across town to see her. To every guy that gives her flowers and a card when she is sick or down. To every guy who has given her flowers just because thats how he rolls. To every guy that said he would die for her. To every guy that really would. To every guy that did what she wanted to do. To every guy that cried in front of her. .... To every guy that she cried in front of... To every guy that holds hands with her. To every guy that kisses her with meaning. To every guy that hugs her when she's sad. To every guy that hugs her for no reason at all. To every guy who would give their jacket up for her. To every guy that calls to make sure she got home safe. To every guy that would sit and wait for her for hours just to see her for ten minutes..... To every guy that would give his seat up... To every guy that just wants to cuddle. To every guy that reassured her that she was beautiful no matter what. To every guy who told his secrets to her. To every guy that tried to show how much he cared through every word and every breath. To every guy that thought maybe this could be the one. To every guy that believed in her dreams. To every guy that would have done anything so she could achieve them. To every guy that never laughed at her when she told him her dreams. To every guy that walked her to her car and opened the door. To every guy that gave his heart. To every guy who prays that she is happy even if you are not with her. Not many girls appreciate nice guys anymore... And because of this, there are not many left out there...

Recently, Billboard has released its top 50 sexiest songs of all time. Me being the music buff that I am...  Find this list absolutely deplorable.  What they say on how its ranked...

"Songs are ranked based on an inverse point system, with weeks at No. 1 earning the greatest value and weeks at No. 100 earning the least. To ensure equitable representation of the biggest hits from each era, certain time frames were weighted to account for the difference between turnover rates from those years."

This was taken directly from Billboard.com.  So without further ado, here are the 50 "sexiest songs" according to billboard.  Yes, I will add my own commentary as I go down the list.

50.    Foreigner – Urgent

49.    Cyndi Lauper – She Bop

48.    Ray J – Sexy can I

47.    Adina Howard – Freak Like me

46.    Cassie – Me & U

45.  Ton Loc – Wild Thing

44.  George Michael – I Want Your Sex

43.  Donna Summers – Dim All the Lights

42.  Prince – Raspberry Beret

41.  Johnny Gill – Rub You The Right Way

40.  Juvenile – Slow Motion

39.  Roberta Flack – Feel Like Making Love

38.  Sylvia – Pillow Talk

37.  Def Leppard – Pour Some Sugar on Me

36.  R. Kelly – Bump n Grind

35.  Poison – Unskinny Bop

34.  Marvin Gaye – Sexual Healing

33.  Donna Summers – Love to Love You Baby

32.  LaBelle – Lady Marmalade

31.  Peter Gabriel – Sledgehammer

30.  Missy Elliot – Work It

29.  Pointer Sisters – Slow Hand

28.  Heart – All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You

27.  Usher – Love In This Club

26.  Karyn White – Romantic

25.  Akon – Smack That

24.  R. Kelly – Ignition

23.  Bell Biv Devoe – Do me

22.  Silk – Freak Me

21.  Gregory Abbot – Shake You Down

20.  Starland Vocal Band – Afternoon Delight

19.  50 Cent – Candy Shop

18.  Monica – The First Night

17.  Anita Ward – Ring My Bell

16.  Nelly Furtado – Promiscuous

15.  Toni Braxton – You’re Making Me high

14.  Color Me Badd – I Wanna Sex You Up

13.  Donna Summers – Bad Girls

12.  Lil Wayne – Lollipop

11.  Rolling Stones – Honky Tonk Woman

10.  Rod Stewart – Do Ya Think I’m Sexy

09.  Exile – Kiss You All Over

08.  Madonna – Like A Virgin

07.  Captain & Tennille – Do That To Me One More Time

06.  Donna Summers – Hot Stuff

05.  Marvin Gaye – Let’s Get It On

04.  Too Close – Next

03.  Boyz II Men – I’ll Make Love To You

02.  Rod Stewart – Tonight’s The Night

01.  Olivia Newton John - Physical

NOW...  ok, Some of the songs I can definately see on the List.   Marvin Gaye.  Absolutely.  Even some of the more current stuff.  But seriously?  So much Donna Summers?  And I'm sorry... but blatant sex doesnt make something sexy to me...

"I'm a dick thrower
Her neck and her back hurting
Cut throat I'll have you like a brand new virgin
It's like when she get used to it then you start serving
Hop up on top and start jiggy-jiggy-jiggy- jerking
Slow down for me you moving to fast
My fingers keep slipping I'm trying to grip that ass
Keep being hard headed and Ima make you get off me
Got human up the skies but my face is a doggy
If you loving my bark let me bury my bone
I got 4 or 5 bad merry bitches at home
One of my bitches feel in love with that outside dick
that outside dick keep them hoes sick"

These are lyrics taken from the Juvenile song "Slow Motion"  Tell me how is that sexy???  I mean really?  To me that is just blatant sex.  no innuendos that makes a song sexy.  Know what I mean?

And only 1 Prince song????  REALLY????  And where are the greats?  Teddy Pendergrass, BARRY WHITE, Isacc Hayes????  The Isley Brothers???  Remember that song "Between the Sheets?"  yes, it's rather to the point... But it's Vocal and the music behind it is amazing.  One of the most sampled peices of music today. 

To me there is more behind "Sexy Music" than just words.  It's the music, it's the emotion.  Innuendos.  Hyperbole.  or whatever you want to call it.  And there is also music that is sexy, but have nothing to do with sex in general.  Take for instance...  Stevie Ray Vaughn and Tin Pan Alley.  Listen to it.  Close your eyes and let the music take you places.  Maybe it's just that im such a music nerd.  I don't know. 

Like I said, I have issue with this list.  Especially considering that Olivia Newton John was number 1.  Yeah ok, Physical had a LOT of sexual undertones.  However, most people think it's just a work out song.  And each person is different.  So what I may find as "Sexy" some people may not find sexy.  To each thier own.  But really...  Some of those songs that are on the list are just rediculous.  And I know that they only put it out based on billboard numbers etc...  But they say that Billboard is the music bible.  I find this incredibally hard to believe.  It's like when Rolling stone Magazine released thier top 100 Guitarists of all time.  Popularity, Money.  Driving factors into what makes these lists.  Really?  Kurt Cobain placed higher than greats like Carlos Santana and Buddy Guy????  And Billy Gibbons from ZZTop.  Not even on the list.  Oddly enough, the Number 1 Guitarist on that list Jimi Hendrix, looked up to Billy as a Guitar God.

Maybe it's just me.  I don't know.  These lists honestly to me are bullshit created by people who are paid to put them together.  And just like an opinion, everyone will have thier own thoughts on certain things.  But Olivia Newton John?  *shakes head* 

Again just my opinions. 

There has been a few things that have really bugged me lately... So I decided to write about them. Under normal circumstances, these little things probably wouldnt bother me, Might be the end of the Holiday Seasons, or what, I do not know. I went the other day to get me a new Toothbrush, (Why these are called TOOTH Brushes, I don't know considering I have a full set of TEETH) and I'm looking around and I see all these wonderous new designs and everything. Rubber edges, tongue scrubbers, Circular designs, Bent styles, rubber handles for better grip, electric... No effin regular TEETH brushes. All I want is a regular effin toothbrush. I don't need all these fancy designs and colors or whatever marketing ploy they are trying this time. I don't want one that says it's approved by whatever government agency that deals with dentists and thier like. I don't wnat one that has a gum messager or tongue scrubber. JUST A REGULAR FUCKING TOOTHBRUSH!!! or Teethbrush in my instance. WTF? A peice of plastic with bristles. Thats all I want. Is it too much to ask for? FFS. seriously... As a lot of you know, recently I got a new job working at a Tobacco shop. I love it. They pay me to sit around, shoot the shit with customers, smoke pipes and cigars and play on the computer doing the website. Granted the pay isn't great and im only part time, but it suffices yanno? Every once in a while we get some street urchin comming in asking if we have "Glass Pipes". Really? Look the eff around you. We sell Briar Pipes and Meershaum Pipes for somking TOBACCO. It's a pretty classy establishment that I work in and clearly designed for Pipes and Cigars. You want to suck on a glass dick, I don't care, but we obviously don't sell them here. Get your crack pipes someplace else. Or we have the customers that come in here asking if they can smoke "other things" in a pipe. Really? What else you gonna smoke out of it? Keep in mind, I have no objection to any other form of "Herbal Enjoyment" but come on... Use your head. You can smoke whatever you want out of a pipe, but don't be so blatant as to ask if you can when cops and lawyers and judges are around you. (My tobacco shop is right down the street from the court houses so they come by every day. We even have a group that we call the "Lunch Bunch") Ehhh Whatever. Do what you will but we don't encourage other forms of smoking other than tobacco, and that includes anything you would smoke out of a glass pipe. Speaking of my shop... there are some guys that come in and are just fucking total complete slobs. I have no issue with cleaning at the end of the night. It's in my job discription. But seriously... You smoke, USE A FUCKING ASHTRAY!!! Thats why we have a million of them out and about in the store. Stop fuckign asshing your cigars on my damn floors. How would you like it if I go to your house and do that shit? I can understand occasionally you aren't paying attention and you accidentally ash. It happens. But FFS, you sitting on a nice couch, an ashtray INCHES away from your cigar and you MISS??? REALLY???? Do you do that shit at home?? Oh wait, you are HERE smoking cause your wife wont let you do it at home. Either she doesn't like the smell as you guys claim, or your fucking SLOBBY about it. have some fucking courtesy dammit. And FFS, just cause you come in here everyday, doesn't mean you get free coffee. We charge a buck a cup because you guys are drinking it and the company doesnt pay for it. You guys are. And lets be honest, a dollar for a cup of coffee isn't that much. PAY FOR YOUR SHIT YOU GOD DAMNED CHEAP SKATES! Cause guess what, if they don't, The employees do. And im tired of paying for everyone's coffee. ugh.... Also, I sit here at work (just as I am now, but im taking a break from the web site) and you see me with my computer out... Chances are (Unlike now) im working on the website. Don't fucking ask me to look something up for your damn amusement on youtube. My laptop isn't here for Customer Amusement. I actually do work while sitting here. Have some fucking respect, and because I go to the bathroom, does't give the customers the right to jump on my lap top so they can check thier mail or what the fuck ever they do. Why is it when I go to a grocery store, jack ass people have to have fucking CART LOADS of shit and use the self check out line? Those lines are for people who just have a few things. So that way they don't have to stand behind people who do have cartloads of stuff. I had someone get pissed off at me cause I was goign the RIGHT way down a one way street and I wouldn't get out of thier way when they were going the WRONG way down it. Seriously? Can't you read a fucking sign? It's big and white and it says ONE WAY. Or there is a big Red one that says DO NOT ENTER. Fucking idiots. And I just LOVE people who constantly insist they are right even when PROVEN wrong. Fuckin man up and just admit you were wrong. Your intellect doesn't impress me. Especially when it's faulty. How can you argue with someone when you are proven wrong?? For instance, I had a guy argue with me about when a song came out. I can't remember what song or what group, but he was wrong. So I looked it up cause I knew he was and I was right. Sure enough, I was right. Dumb fuck CONTINUED to argue with me about it. Really? It's right the fuck in front of you, you fucking mook. UGH OK, I think I have ranted enough. Just needed to vent and get these things off my chest. I feel much better about it now. -Sylent

This is for you AT&T Reps, however, a lot of it applies to all of us. LMFAO #10...But my bill says AT&T now...... Ok genius...you signed up with Cingular, you have been billed by Cingular for years, and your phone says Cingular on the outside. The only thing that has changed in your world is the logo on your bill. Let me put it into perspective...If you buy a box of Frosted Flakes, and your wife puts a picture of the Lucky Charms guy on the box, does the contents inside magically change into pink hearts and yellow moon marshmallows? Convert over or deal with the reality that you signed up with the wrong team. #9...Best Buy sells the RAZR cheaper.... It’s called a promotion. Their reps are hourly employees which mean no commission is paid out. Best Buy keeps that commission for themselves. It does not phase them to cut into their own commission to get gross adds which allows them to hit a bonus payout. Plus they can mark up a refrigerator $200 to make up to $100 discount on the phone. Cell phone stores only sell phones, so NO, they won't match the price. #8...Customer service said I get a free phone.... If customer service told you that you weighed 80 pounds less, would you run out and buy a two piece and flip flops? Congratulations. They told you what you needed to hear to get off the phone and walk into a store like everybody else. The prices are set locally in each market. Customer service can't possibly know the prices unless they visit each store. Besides, they leave notes on accounts if there is a free phone offer. 9 times out of ten....no notes on your account. If you bought the phone from Motorola or Samsung directly, you would pay 2-300 dollars. We only charge you 50-80. Where does that other 150 go? We eat it up front. But that is not good enough. You want more. You want free. If you buy cereal, does the store give you free milk? If you buy a car is the oil and gas free? If you get cable service is the T.V. free? No. But in cell phone land, we give everything away for free. Well guess what, we buy the phones from somebody else. They charge us. We charge you. The phones today do more that that black and white cap *** Junker you surfed in on. $80.00 for a phone (after a rebate) over 2 years = $3.33 a month. Less than a pack of smokes cheap o. #7 but the phones are cheaper online... Does online have the same overhead that a retail store has? Are you talking to a live person who has real time feedback on your equipment decision? Is the return process as convenient as in store? No. If you are looking for a crappy low end free phone that will break in 6 months, shop online. If you want to invest some real money on a quality product with live demonstrations and support, go to a store. #6 they gave me a free car charger last time... If they were free, why would we spend hours putting price tags on the back? You need the charger...you want the charger...it’s a convenient product...just pony up and buy one. I have had mine for over 2 years now. $26.99 divided by 24 months is $1.12 a month. What else do you spend more than $1.12 a month on? McDonalds? Beer? Toilet paper? Corn Nuts? #5 Activation fee? Can't you waive that? I'm sorry....I actually can. I just wanted to charge you extra because I want to piss you off and encourage you to not spend any more money today. I'm not really under a quota that my job depends on, and my commissions were not cut in half this month. Let me go ahead and press that Activation Fee waived button right here on my desk. Look. If you could process the transaction yourself...there would be no fee. But since you can't even figure out how to store numbers in your phone book while using CAPITAL LETTERS, I doubt that will happen anytime soon. #4 Why's my bill so high? hmmmmmm............. Let me look, oh I see it, right here. You were too cheap to pick the plan I suggested, and add the appropriate features you needed. Now you went over your minutes, got overcharged for pay per use, and have a $400 bill. Now you need my help? I get paid $4.00 for helping you cheap out on me for an hour, and I explained the whole instruction manual to you in store. Now you want me to give you a credit. Guess what...I CAN'T. We don't give credits in store. It’s a big long process of e-mails and calls to people who have to escalate to their bosses. 5-6 days turn around time, and you are only getting 50% back, which is going to piss you off and cause you to cancel, I lose my $4.00, you get $150.00 penalty. You will make a scene, threaten to go to Verizon, and tell everybody how bad Cingular sucks. All because you were to cheap to pick a $79.99 plan to cover all your usage. #3 Can't I just resign my contract and get a new phone? A. You didn't finish the first contract you agreed to finish to get the discount on your current phone. B. It's not even in your name. C. You are the one who declined the insurance in the first place D. If you could just resign, wouldn't everybody just drop their phone in water and come in and resign? #2 my phone is broke. ....So...if you car breaks do you take it to the salesman in the showroom and ask him to fix it? Does my business card say cell phone technician? Does the sign out front say SERVICE REPAIR CENTER. NO!! The people in the store are there to sell things. We did not build the phone. We did not break the phone. We do not give out replacements. 300 customers a month average (new and upgrades) times 12 months = 3600 phones a year times 5 years in an area = 18000 phones sold. If everyone decided they have a problem with their phone and came into exchange it.....we would have -17000 phones in our inventory room to sell. That’s a good business plan. Instead...we have you call an 800 number to have the phone shipped from a warehouse directly to you, no postage to pay, not shipping costs. And what do you say? "I have to be without my phone?" or " I conduct $50,000 in business on my phone every day, I can't be without it " Hey buddy, $50,000 a day you can afford the $7.00 to have overnight shipping. When we did have repair centers, you bitched about the wait time. We can't win. #1 thing not to say in a cell phone store... But I have been a customer for xxx years... I have driven Fords for 12 years. I have eaten Papa Johns for 10 years. I have drank Mountain Dew for 15 years. I have shopped at Giant Eagle for 8 years. I have bought gas for 12 years. I have Hanes t-shirts for 25 years. I have had cable service 7 years. Do you think that any one of these companies have ever given me anything for FREE just because I have been a customer of theirs for xxx years? No. If you actually got billed for what it costs (from start to finish) to acquire you business, and use our service, you would crap you Levis jeans (20 years).

So yeah, this is just a random rant. I went to McDonalds today before work to get some food. I had ordered 4 Double Cheeseburgers plain (please note the PLAIN), 2 for then before I went in, and 2 for later at dinner. And then 2 4 peice nuggets. Whatever... First off they said "We dont have double cheeseburgers anymore. But we have the McDoubles" ummmm "Whats a McDouble" I asked, and I groaned as the lady behind the speaker told me... "Two beef patties, with a slice of cheese on a bun" Not one to argue, I said, "that sounds like a double cheeseburger to me. Whatever, I will take 4 McDoubles Plain" Now, I should let you all know, this McDonalds is Right down the Street from where I work. So they know us well.... I pull up to the window, and they had me my food. The person at the window even recognized me and knows my orders. I pay get my food and go. Remember where I said PLAIN? Yeah.. I unwrap my first MCDOUBLE *eyeroll* and Lo and Behold... Everything. *SIGH* Now I look at the clock and realize that I dont have that much time to get to work so... whatever... I go in, figuring I will just scrape the shit off. Of course we get busy and my MCDOUBLES are just sitting there getting cold. Now I dont know about you guys but when they get cold, that shit gets harder to scrape off cause at that point the bread is stickin to the cheese along with everything else. I mean SERIOUSLY. HOW FUCKING HARD IS IT TO PUT 2 GOD DAMN BEEF PATTIES WITH CHEESE ON A BUN AND WRAP IT UP?????? heres the best part, I looked at my receipt, sure enough... it said PLAIN. What a damn day.

hmmmm note should be taken. lmao

Kiki Anniston Reveals: "The "Secret Reason" Why Women Are Attracted To Jerks, Players and Just Plain Dangerously Wrong Guys." An open letter to single women frustrated with dating the wrong guys...

Hey Girlfriend, Can I ask you something personal? Be honest... Have you ever dated the type of guy that left you constantly waiting by the phone with an uneasy sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? Or a guy who made you feel bad about yourself, but for some reason you couldn't leave him? (Of course, that same guy, at times, also made you feel like you were the only person on this planet - you know, that "hot-cold" type). And have you ever walked into a club and found yourself so attracted to one particular guy, you felt like you were in a trance and literally couldn't stop making eyes with him? If you answered yes to any of the above, it may be a sign that you're susceptible to a certain "dangerous personality type" that psychiatrists have a SCARY sounding name for, which I'll tell you about in a sec... ...But first, I want you to quickly read through the following list of personality traits and jot down the ones that apply to either the guy you're dating now or guys you've typically dated in the past: ..TR>

PERSONALITY TRAITS:

1. SUPERFICIAL CHARM -- the tendency to be smooth, engaging, charming, and slick. Not in the least shy, self-conscious, or afraid to say anything. He never gets tongue-tied and has freed himself from the social conventions about taking turns in talking, for example. 2. GRANDIOSE SELF-WORTH -- a grossly inflated view of one's abilities and self-worth, self-assured, opinionated, cocky, a braggart. An arrogant guy who believes he is a superior human being.

3. NEED FOR STIMULATION (PRONENESS TO BOREDOM) -- an excessive need for novel, thrilling, and exciting stimulation; taking chances and doing things that are risky. Often has low self-discipline in carrying tasks through to completion because he gets bored easily.

4. PATHOLOGICAL LYING -- can be moderate or high; in moderate form, and will be shrewd, crafty, cunning, sly, and clever (in extreme form, he will be deceptive, deceitful, underhanded, unscrupulous, manipulative, and dishonest).

5. CONNING AND MANIPULATIVENESS -- the use of deceit and deception to cheat, con, or defraud others for personal gain; distinguished from Item 4 in the degree to which exploitation and callous ruthlessness is present, as reflected in a lack of concern for the feelings and suffering of one's victims.

6. LACK OF REMORSE OR GUILT -- a lack of feelings or concern for the losses, pain, and suffering of victims; a tendency to be unconcerned, dispassionate, coldhearted, and unempathic. This item is usually demonstrated by a disdain for one's victims.

7. SHALLOW AFFECT -- emotional poverty or a limited range or depth of feelings; interpersonal coldness in spite of signs of open gregariousness.

8. CALLOUSNESS and LACK OF EMPATHY -- a lack of feelings toward people in general; cold, contemptuous, inconsiderate, and tactless. 9. PARASITIC LIFESTYLE -- an intentional, manipulative, selfish, and exploitative financial dependence on others as reflected in a lack of motivation, low self-discipline, and inability to begin or complete responsibilities.

10. POOR BEHAVIORAL CONTROLS -- expressions of irritability, annoyance, impatience, threats, aggression, and verbal abuse; inadequate control of anger and temper; acting hastily.

11. PROMISCUOUS SEXUAL BEHAVIOR -- a variety of brief, superficial relations, numerous affairs, and an indiscriminate selection of sexual partners; the maintenance of several relationships at the same time; a history of attempts to sexually coerce others into sexual activity or taking great pride at discussing sexual exploits or conquests.

12. LACK OF REALISTIC, LONG-TERM GOALS -- an inability or persistent failure to develop and execute long-term plans and goals; a nomadic existence, aimless, lacking direction in life.

13. IMPULSIVITY -- the occurrence of behaviors that are unpremeditated and lack reflection or planning; inability to resist temptation, frustrations, and urges; a lack of deliberation without considering the consequences; foolhardy, rash, unpredictable, erratic, and reckless.

14. IRRESPONSIBILITY -- repeated failure to fulfill or honor obligations and commitments; such as not paying bills, defaulting on loans, performing sloppy work, being absent or late to work, failing to honor contractual agreements.

15. FAILURE TO ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY FOR OWN ACTIONS -- a failure to accept responsibility for one's actions reflected in low conscientiousness, an absence of dutifulness, antagonistic manipulation, denial of responsibility, and an effort to manipulate others through this denial.

16. MANY SHORT-TERM RELATIONSHIPS -- a lack of commitment to a long-term relationship reflected in inconsistent, undependable, and unreliable commitments in life, including marital.

17. JUVENILE DELINQUENCY -- behavior problems between the ages of 13-18; mostly behaviors that are crimes or clearly involve aspects of antagonism, exploitation, aggression, manipulation, or a callous, ruthless tough-mindedness.

18. CRIMINAL VERSATILITY -- A diversity of types of criminal offenses (regardless if the person has been arrested or convicted for them); taking great pride at getting away with crimes.

 

Do any of these personality traits describe someone you've dated or are dating? If you answered yes, then you may be as surprised as I was to learn that all 18 traits are actually "clinical traits" of a sociopath (Source: Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, PCL-R; Hare,1991, 2003)... and IF you've dated guys with these traits, chances are YOU are attracted to or involved with a SOCIOPATH... yikes! Now before you freak out too much… I want you to know that you're not alone! I too was attracted to these kinds of guys (no wonder my relationships always brought me heartache and pain!)… Turns out there's a BIG difference between a "normal" guy you might date and a sociopath (a sociopath actually has something wrong with their conscience - they either don't have one or it's severely fragmented). Sociopaths only care about fulfilling their own needs and desires - selfishness and egocentricity to the extreme. Everything and everybody else is mentally twisted around in their minds as objects to be used in fulfilling their own needs and desires. Not surprisingly, parental failure (usually fatherlessness) is the 1 reason why someone develops a sociopathic personality. Also interesting are the four distinct types of sociopaths (sound like anyone you've dated?):

1) Commons are characterized by their lack of conscience

2) Alienated are characterized by their inability to love or be loved

3) Aggressives are characterized by a consistent sadistic streak

4) Dyssocials are characterized by an inability to abide by normal rules

I know, I know... I was shocked the first time I read these too. Okay, now getting back to MY story... It used to be that when I went out, I'd often find myself attracted to one particular guy (and not necessarily the best looking one in the room) where all we had to do was make eye contact and it was INSTANT SPARKS… almost like some invisible magnetic energy was drawing us to each other… Every time this happened, I thought what I was feeling was PASSION…or love at first sight... little did I know that I was deeply attracted to sociopathic personality types because of MY OWN dysfunctional psychology. You see, although I've never really had any trouble meeting attractive, successful, sweet guys… I usually didn't feel attracted to them. I always found myself saying there's "no passion"… or they were too nice or boring. I now know that my concept of passion was really my addiction to the wrong type of guys…It turns out I was addicted to emotional highs and lows that sociopaths bombarded me with that keep me hooked... in "normal healthy relationships", there tends to be a more steady emotional ride and you don't feel the intensity of the highs and lows you're used to and, therefore, think there's something wrong or missing. I was amazed to learn that our brains actually become physically addicted to emotional intensity and the more we subject ourselves to roller coaster relationships of hot and cold intensity, the more addicted we get (just like a drug).

This happens especially to those of us who grew up with a lot of "dysfunction" in the home. And, of course, that's why these encounters always led to unfulfilling relationships where I constantly felt anxious, got manipulated and strung along... I didn't understand why this was happening to me and a friend of mine recommended I go see a therapist, so I did. Well, it didn't take long my therapist to reach a very common conclusion – I had a codependent personality (which apparently explained everything)... It turns out that because codependents like to live through or for others, have a strong need to "fix" people and tend to seek out relationships where we can play a victim role… ...and because sociopaths are so full of themselves and thrive on controlling and manipulating others, when us codependents and a sociopath get together, it's like nitro and glycerin – BOOM! Bottom line: I knew if I didn't do something about this immediately, I would continue downward on the destructive spiral that I was already on. Can you guess what I did? I actually made a vow not to get involved with anyone until I got myself figured out and it was probably the most difficult part of my healing process (Seriously, you have no idea how codependent you really are until try to not be involved with anyone romantically for a while!) Now you may be wondering how a nice girl like me developed a codependent personality... Well, I figured this out too... It turns out that it's extremely common for children of alcoholics and addicts to be diagnosed as codependent because codependency stems from being abandoned (or abused) as a child and alcoholics and addicts essentially abandon their kids for their addictions. Although I'm not an alcoholic or drug addict, my father did have a drinking problem and that was the likely source for my codependency issues. Anyway, I decided to embark on a journey of self discovery with myself as my sole focus. I went to ALANON (the support group for children of addicts), I read dozens of books, took courses, took up yoga, starting eating healthy, went through a twelve step program… and become empowered and confident by focusing on fixing myself instead of trying to fix everyone but myself. I learned so much about myself and what made me tick, but at the same time, I was feeling lonely and for the first time, I really dreamed of being a great relationship...

BUT, I realized that you will NEVER have a normal, healthy relationship unless you re-learn how to date. Think about it, after a lifetime of being codependent, you date like a codependent. Everything you did was to attract the "wrong guy"… and all the traits you were looking for and thought you were attracted to were traits of the "wrong guy"… and even though you may have achieved control over your codependency, you'll continue to put yourself in the same situation because you approach dating as your old codependent self. It would be like an alchoholic fresh out of AA going into a bar every night for a cup of coffee! Not going to work! So how do you start from scratch and "learn" to date all over again, only this time, the healthy way? I eventually found myself feeling ready to try my hand at dating again. Even though I was totally aware of my condition, I was still attracting the jerk/player type! What on earth was I doing wrong? Even with my new self awareness, I couldn't understand why I was back where I started. I discussed this with my therapist and she identified that indeed I had to throw out a lifetime of experience and behavior to acquire a new healthy mindset towards dating. At first it was a bit daunting, but then I got excited about the concept of starting all over again. I mean, who wouldn't want a second chance? Well, after reading numerous dating and self help books including "The Rules", "He's Just Not That Into You", "Why You're Still Single" and "Why Men Love Bitches"... one book in particular really stood out from the rest. It's called "Catch Him and Keep Him" and it's not your typical guide on how to meet guys. This book reveals incredibly valuable and "original" insights into the differences between the way a man's mind and a woman's mind works when it comes to dating and attraction. It was so "eye opening", it changed my entire mindset about how to approach dating and men...

The minute I started reading Christian Carter's book, it was as if this book was written just for me. It completely blew me away! Everything he wrote just made sense. There's just too much to explain here, so I've posted one of his newsletters on my site so you can see for yourself what I mean: read sample newsletter You have to agree, it's a totally different approach than just relying on your heart and your urges. And the fact that it's written by a guy makes it even that much more "eye opening". It really helped me change my approach to dating, and I'm happy to say, I've met and fallen in love with Michael - a wonderful and beautiful man who treats me really well. Yes, I still feel sometimes like I don't deserve him. I've shared all of these things with him and he accepts me faults and all. So I want you to know that there really is hope...

Based on my experience, here are the three critical steps you must take to eliminate these "dead ends" from your life :

1) Get Out Of The "Denial" And Out Of Your "Situation" : It's time to be honest with yourself and admit you are caught in this cycle of destructive behavior. Then you have to make a promise of zero-contact with any romantic involvement until you get yourself straightened out.

2) Seek Expert Help: There are many resources available to you at little or no cost. Therapy is the best way to go as well as support groups such as Alanon and Codependents Anonymous. It's way too hard to heal without an objective, qualified, and non-judgmental help. Once you feel strong enough to date again, its time to…

3) Change Your Approach: The definition of insanity is when continue the same approach over and over again expecting a different result. When would NOW be good time to change your approach to relationships and learn how to date the "healthy" way? Bottom Line: If you want to break the cycle of dating "Mr. Wrong" so you can finally find "Mr. Right", I highly recommend you download this ebook: CatchHimAndKeepHim.com and re-learn your approach to dating just like I did. Okay, I gotta run... I'm busy writing some more stuff to share on this site soon. Your friend, - Kiki

1- What are your initials? MLM 2- What is your favorite thing to wear? Not much. LoL 3- Last thing you ate? Pork Chops 4- One place you will NEVER eat at? Not a whole of places I won't eat... 5- I say Shotgun, you say What kinda beer? 9- Does anyone you know wanna date you? Not that I'm aware of 10- Would you date anyone you met online? Sure 11- Name something you like physically about yourself: my legs and my eyes 12- The last place you went out to dinner ? Does lunch count? Fudruckers 13- Who is your best friend? I have a few... 14- What time of the day is it? 5:44 AM est 15- Who/What made you angry today? no one made me angry.... 16- Baseball or Football Football 17- Ever gone skinny dipping? LMFAO.. Tequila was involved...nuff said 18- Favorite type of Food? BBQ 19- Favorite holiday: Holloween 20- Do you download music: I haven't progressed to that stage yet *whistles* 21- Do you care if your socks are dirty? Only when im out of clean ones 22- Opinion of Chinese symbol tattoos? Love them... I have my Zodiac symbol on the back of my neck 23- Would you date the person who posted this? She's married and like my sister. LOL 24- Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally? yup. 25- Do you love anyone? Define the way it's being used. I love all my friends, am I in LOVE with someone... no. 26- Are colored contact lenses sexy? I prefer natural colors 27- Have you ever bungee jumped? Nope. Want to tho 28- Have you ever gone white-water rafting? Negative Ghost Rider.... 29- Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you? Yup. 30- How many pets do you have? none.... 31- Have you met a real redneck? heh... Yeah I have, I lived in Texas... 32- How is the weather right now? Nice and cool 33- What are you listening to right now Right now, Tap Root - Poem.. but it varies cause im On Air right now. 34- What is your current favorite song? I have a few. 35- What was the last movie you watched? Back To The Future 36- Do you wear contacts? That I do 37- Where was the last place you went besides your house? MVA 38- What are you afraid of? hmmm... Very good question. For those that really know me, I have a deathly fear of sleeping with a mask on. 39- What's one thing you've learned this year? I have learned a lot of things, about myself, who I want to be and who I don't want to be. 40- What do you usually order from Starbucks? Coffee... plain black coffee... it throws them off. 41- What Magazines do you read? Game Informer 42- Have you ever fired a gun? Yup 43- Are you missing someone? Very much so. 44- Favorite TV show? Ghost Hunters 45- Do you have an obession with WoW? Used to. Not anymore 46- Has anyone ever said you looked like a celeb? Nope. can't say they have. 48- Who would you like to see right now? Does it really matter? 49- Favorite movie? I have a few that I could put here 51- Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't suppose to? Who hasnt? 52- Favorite smell? Fresh from the shower clean, The Ocean, and Homemade food being cooked 53- Butter, plain, or salted popcorn? mmmmm Butter and Salted with Butter. lol 54- Ever put a friend in a cop car on JukePix? JukePix? wtf is that? 55- Ever been in a cop car in real life? lol Yup. 56- Has anyone you were really close to passed away recently? yes.... 57- Our Lady Peace or Nickelback? Wow, ummm... Didnt know OLP was still around.. Tough call... 58- What's something that really bugs you? Lots of things 59- Do you like Michael Jackson? King of Pop 60- Taco Bell or Burger King? Either or works well for me. 61- What's your favorite perfume/cologne? hmmmm.... 62- Favorite baseball team? Tigers 63- Ever call a 1-900 phone number? Nope. 64- Nipple or Nose rings? Either or depending on the ring. lol 65- What's the longest time you've gone without sleep? Few days... oh to be young again. 66- Last time you went bowling? LONG time ago 67- Where is the weirdest place you have slept? The Shower. lol 68- Who was your last phone call from? I can't reach my phone to find out. But I think it was Judy 69-Last time you were at work? Been over a week now. 70- What's the closest orange object to you? My Triple dice lighter..........