CantSleepClownsWillEatMe's blog: "Random thoughts"

July 5, 2007 Quote of the Day "The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing." – Albert Einstein

When you and your sweetheart put your heads together, you accomplish not twice as much, but four times as much. You're yin and yang, innocence and experience, wisdom and folly, but you take turns playing each role.

July 2, 2007 Quote of the Day "Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can change someone else's life forever." – Margaret Cho

Quote of the Day "The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on." – Julia Alvarez

Quote of the Day "Do not fear mistakes, there are none." – Miles Davis

Sitting here pondering once again....I have been back in the states a little over a month now and have been working for the past two weeks. My whole goal was once I started working to put aside most of the money (besides basic living expenses) to go back to Germany at the end of August. Well although I got a job, and work 5 days a week, I am still hitting under 40 hours a week. I may be lucky to get 30. I am staying at my sisters temporarily and she is charging me 50 a week to rent the couch. I spoke to her trying to get her to drop it down because I am making minimum wage, I asked her to drop it to like $25 a week and I mow the lawn or do something else. Well that did not go over, she is very adamant at the $50. I do buy my own food and my own necessities. Really I wouldn't mind this so much if I weren't making so little and trying to save for my ticket. The first time over to Germany my boyfriend bought the ticket and paid for my passport. I have considered getting another job but that would put me at working 7 days a week and I feel like I am too old to handle 7 days a week. With less then 2 months to go until I can be back in Germany its very frustrating! My sister had made the comment that I would be bringing home 700 and after paying 200 to rent and my cell phone and my cigarettes that leaves like 300 left over. Not much to save for a ticket in 2 months. I don't know why I am telling anyone about this but I had to get it off my chest.

u know so many days i have wondered if this is all a dream, the love i feel for you and the strength you give me. will i wake up one day and it be gone? or will i have you forever? I used to think that love was a game and people were the pawns. now i feel that love is so real and so valuable that if you really love someone you must give all your love away to that person and have the chance of getting your heartbroken. Well with you I have given all my love, my beliefs and my faith. You are the first man that has ever been able to capture me like this and for that I will be forever faithful to you. You came into the darkest time in my life and you as one man Rudi have filled my days with sunshine and hope. I swear to God that you are all I want out of this life. the opportunity to be able to grow with you, laugh with you, nurse you when your sick and give the world to, thats what I want with you. For better or worse in this lifetime, what ever it may be I want to spend it with you. You are my everything, the perfect man for me. When I am down all I have to do is sit and think about you or say your name and as it comes across my lips the smile is always there. I'm begging you please dont ever hurt me, because all of me is in your hands....