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I have this in my MSN Spaces blog, and wanted to spread the joy. This was a chatroom conversation on MSN in a girls only chat room. This guy came in and wanted to be one of the girls. LOL Its kinda obvious which one of these people is me, the rest are just random friends of mine. (Yeah its fuckin long, but worth the read. I was in an awesome mood and my humor was in rare form.) READ THE WHOLE THING!!! ITS HILARIOUS!!! 8Dingo has joined the conversation. Dingo : hi I'm a lesbo RottenToThe©o® : lmfao Skoobz™ : Dingo : hi I'm a lesbo Skoobz™ : LMFAO άỷĠi : hi dingo im really a swahelie dancer RottenToThe©o® : Skoobz™ : Dingo : hi I'm a lesbo Skoobz™ : good cover there dude RottenToThe©o® : whats a lesbo? άỷĠi : i dunno Skoobz™ : hi I am not a lesbo but most of my girlfriends were Dingo : isn't this the lesbo room? »»¤MÅ®†¥¤«« : lmao Skoobz™ : sorry dingo its not Skoobz™ : its the farmhands for females room Skoobz™ : you took a wrong turn Skoobz™ : go back to the room list and lick on the one that says Men4Men άỷĠi : farmland? wtf am i chating with chickens and cows? Dingo : ewwww men Skoobz™ : farmHANDS not farmland Skoobz™ : dingo your story is not workin on ANY of us just so you know Skoobz™ : Nickname Dingo Gender Male Age 101 Occupation feces collector Skoobz™ : kinda blows ya "Im a lesbo" defense outta the water huh asshat ®Shorty : lolol Dingo : it's a cover Skoobz™ : sure it is Dingo : I'm incognito Skoobz™ : and your using your husbands account Skoobz™ : or your brothers or roommates άỷĠi : no her boyfriends ®Shorty : umm hummmmmm άỷĠi : probably her daddies ®Shorty : or her sisters/brothers/mothers/fathers ®Shorty : either or Skoobz™ : and let me guess, you say your a guy to keep guys from whispering? άỷĠi : uncles dog? »»¤MÅ®†¥¤«« : lol ®Shorty : uncles dogs cousins friends granny Dingo : exactly skoobz Skoobz™ : heres a hint dingo for the next group of women you wanna try to fool Skoobz™ : lesbians dont call themselves lesbos Skoobz™ : ever Dingo : hi I'm a lesbian? Skoobz™ : here dingo let me help you out Skoobz™ : start off by saying like hi ladies how are you Dingo gets out pen άỷĠi : then u ask us do we put out on the first date »»¤MÅ®†¥¤«« : omg a W4W chat tutorial! Skoobz™ : yeah thats important Skoobz™ : ALWAYS ask if someone puts out »»¤MÅ®†¥¤«« takes notes Dingo : thanks Skoobz™ : give out your asl and dont fck it up by slippin up and addmitting your a guy ®Shorty : oh yeah and dont forget to ask about threesomes too RottenToThe©o® : DO U PUT OUT ON THE FIRST 5 MINUTES OF THE DATE OR ON THE FIRST DATE? Skoobz™ : admitting** damn my fingers must be drunk ®Shorty : that always works Skoobz™ : oh yeah the threesome thing ALWAYS works Skoobz™ : ya writing it all down dingo? RottenToThe©o® : keep up dingo Dingo : I am, thanks ®Shorty : unless ya prefer foursomes, that way your goat gf won't feel left out άỷĠi : ok dingo leave and try it again RottenToThe©o® : or ur blowup gf wont pop Skoobz™ : and its always helpful to make sure you tell everyone what size panties you wear Dingo : ok, I'll be back άỷĠi : LMMFAO ®Shorty : that too Skoobz™ : kinda helps prove your a girl Skoobz™ : ya know? RottenToThe©o® : ahhaha 8Dingo has left the conversation. Skoobz™ : hope i helped ya dingo ScoobyManDoo-™ : Dingo gets sex change an tries to become a lesbo, ruh roh raggy!!!!!! thats scary raggy!!!!.......an ®Shorty takes penis enlargement pills by mistake to make her taller, cuz she soooo short!, an RottenToThe©o® Bounces on balloons naked!!!! 8Dingo has joined the conversation. άỷĠi : dingo got lost άỷĠi : oh damn Skoobz™ : wb dingo ®Shorty : lmnfao Dingo : hi ladies, how are you all tonight? Skoobz™ : hi dingo how are you Dingo : im good, thanks Dingo : how bout a 3some? άỷĠi : dubgi gets an a ®Shorty : dang i had to clear screen Skoobz™ busts out laughin Skoobz™ : Dingo : how bout a 3some? RottenToThe©o® : Skoobz™ : Dingo : how bout a 3some? Dingo : you told me to say that ®Shorty : lol Skoobz™ : i know dingo Skoobz™ : keep goin dingo youre doin good Dingo tries to think what the other phrases were... Skoobz™ : we're teaching dingo how to treat lesbians ptown PTOWN_7 : no better teachers than all of u lol Skoobz™ : and what size panties do you wear dingo Dingo : hmmmmmmmm petite size άỷĠi : they have petite size in panties? Skoobz™ : what size? petite?? Skoobz™ : dingo dingo dingo Skoobz™ shakes head Dingo : oops Dingo : I done bad Skoobz™ : you should do some reasearch Skoobz™ : womens panty sizes come in odd numbers starting at 45 ®Shorty : lol Dingo : ok, I wear a 49 Skoobz™ : 49 thats good dingo Skoobz™ : nice and tiny Skoobz™ : now ya gotta ask who puts out on the first date dingo RottenToThe©o® : DOES ANY OF U SEXY ASS LADIES PUT OUT ON THE FIRST DATE RottenToThe©o® : get to the point dingo Dingo : any of you ladies put out on the first date? Skoobz™ : ok now write this down dingo this is the most imprtant tip PTOWN_7 : lol Skoobz™ : ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS tell a girl her ass is fat Skoobz™ : we love that PTOWN_7 : lmaoooooooooooo Dingo : noooooooooo I know you don't like that Skoobz™ : we do im serious ®Shorty : and the hips too RottenToThe©o® : u gotta fatass to άỷĠi : SCOOBS U GOT FATTEST ASS ITS SO YUMMY άỷĠi : AND UR HIPS DONT LIE Dingo : I don't wanna say that Skoobz™ : well dingo your not gonna get a lesbian if you dont άỷĠi : lmfao hi my name is fatass and i live in fatass illinois άỷĠi : dingo we r giving u lesbian classes Skoobz™ : youll end up with some feminine gay man ®Shorty : lmfao RottenToThe©o® : with a purse Skoobz™ : yeah do you wanna end up with a guy with a purse dingo? RottenToThe©o® : lmmfao ®Shorty : a clutch purse at that ®Shorty : lolol Skoobz™ : trust me, i wouldnt tell you something that wasnt a sure fire way to pick up a lesbian Skoobz™ : you know what always gets me naked dingo is when someone tells me they like it when i fart on them turtle818 : lol ®Shorty : OMFG ®Shorty : did ya light it too skoobz? Skoobz™ : you ok shorty? Skoobz™ : sometimes ®Shorty : yes, ty Skoobz™ : for a party game Skoobz™ : lost a lighter that way once Skoobz™ : ooo and dingo, when you first meet a chick in here you always wanna say that you love animal porn Skoobz™ : you gettin all this dingo? Dingo : I don't wanna say those things RottenToThe©o® : then u wont get a lesbian άỷĠi : and dingo always ALWAYS tell a girl her hair is messed up Skoobz™ : well you dont HAVE to but it would help you a lot Skoobz™ : see, MEN never say those things to us Skoobz™ : if YOU said it we would KNOW your a girl άỷĠi : thats probably y we aint with a man Dingo : oh so that would prove I'm a lesbian I see Skoobz™ : i told babygirl once that i wanted to fart in ehr face, we had sex that night άỷĠi : and the biggest thing to tell us is ur measurements άỷĠi : thats night hell it was 2 minutes later άỷĠi : it made me so wet Skoobz™ : measurements are good too if ya dont wanna say what im tellin ya Skoobz™ : whats your measurements dingo? Dingo : 48/10/48? Skoobz™ : really? άỷĠi : oh ur such a barbie Skoobz™ : damn your stacked άỷĠi : stacked like a white castle burger »»¤MÅ®†¥¤«« : ROFL Skoobz™ : dingo youre makin me hawt Dingo : I am ? RottenToThe©o® : did u just get ur teeth whitened dingo? Skoobz™ : size 49 panties and a 48/10/48 body άỷĠi : im shakin my ass Skoobz™ : im gettin all worked up άỷĠi : dingo what color panties do u have on? Dingo : black RottenToThe©o® : wrong answer άỷĠi : a real lesbian wears res lacey ones RottenToThe©o® : ur supposed to say none im going commando Skoobz™ : ALWAYS use your measurements and panty size right after you say hi how are you ladies Skoobz™ : ok? Dingo : ok skoobz

Giving up

I hate doing anything big. Because no matter how well I plan, and how much time I spent figuring out every aspect of everything, something always goes wrong. Yesterday I lost $400. I dont know where. I know I had it, and I THOUGHT I put it in my safe, but now its not there. And now I dropped my printer and its not working. And I had to print one last set of directions for my move. :| Fuck.

I made a deal with God

Some of you may know that I consider myself to be an atheist. Its actually not even that, I question a lot about religion and God and what not. Anyway, yesterday I prayed. I asked God to help me figure out what I had do to get the things accomplished that I need accomplished (i.e. moving). **see http://cherrytap.com/blog/84166/356780** Today my brother called me. He said, "Call Mom. She can help." For various reasons, including abandonment and betrayal, I dont speak to my mother. But I said to myself, "If I dont persue all avenues, how can I give up?" So I called my mom. We talked for a few minutes, and she offered to finance my move. So I am keeping my word to God. I promised I would tell people in a blog, about the outcome of my prayer. :)

Really bad weekend

It occured to me last night while all these thoughts were flying around inside my head that if I didnt get some of them out, Id go freakin nuts. So some of you knew about my plan to move. Since I made the decision I have done everything in my power to figure out how to afford it. So I start saving money. I had $150 saved, kept it in my wallet because dumbass me thought, well as long as I have it in my wallet, I wont lose it. Sure, works well in theory, until someone goes through my wallet at work and suddenly I dont have any money. :| My sister in law was going to do the driving, because a UHaul is well over $1000, and the cheapest moving truck I found was $800+. I made it VERY CLEAR to her that I was counting on her. And she kept telling me, "Dont worry, we'll figure it out." Ok which brings me to yesterday. Started out as an OK day. Was doin shit around my apartment, and decided to call my sister in law. Keeping in mind, SHE said she would figure it all out. To make the story short, my ex step father was going to let her use his truck. (My ex step father violated me from ages 17-19. He never faced charges for it, because him and my mother told me that since I was over 14, the most it would be is statutory rape, and since she, as my legal guardian, refused to press charges, I had no way to make him own up to what he did. At that point in my life, I was pretty naive and believed it all.) So anyway, yesterday my sister in law says, "Your step dad says we can use the truck, but YOU have to ask for it." I mummed about this @ http://www.cherrytap.com/mum.php?id=56945. So I got the courage to call my sister in law and ask to talk to my ex step father. I didnt even get the words out of my mouth when my sister in law, whom I was COUNTING ON, says, "Well, youre on your own. I need to fix my car so I can go see my family. Sorry." Now, the reason I had pushed my sister in law yesterday to tell me DEFINATELY what was going on, is because my landlord, who is king number one major prick, has me over a barrel. I have two cats. He KNEW I had the cats here, and told me he didnt care. But, he never put in my LEASE that the cats were allowed. One of my cats went into heat, and one of the neighbors called him and he gave me an eviction notice yesterday, based on lease violation. Ive done the figures in my head over and over and over again, and the most I can come up with (after clearing up the last few bills here, and stocking up on necessities to last until I start getting paychecks where Im moving to) is around $250, in the time allowable by the eviction notice. Which means two things: #1. Im pretty sure I cant move. and #2. I cant find another place to live here for that. So yeah, its been a BAD weekend. :(
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