Skoobz fuMarried to Lucky's blog: "Random Thoughts"

I noticed I havent blogged in like, a year. OMG! SO here's whats been happening. I lost a cat to a car accident, aquired two more, lost two rats, got one more, got a new degu, the degu's had seven babies on Oct. 25th, and my new rat had babies on Nov. 18th. (Yeah thats today) Im fixin to MuMM about somethin serious, I hope I dont get too much crap for it LMAO!

Or maybe your not wondering, where Ive been. I have no cable anymore and I have become addicted. Yes I have a sickness, its called POGO ADDITCTION. Its not pleasant, but it keeps me happy. LOL Im still around, still alive, and pretty much well. There is however, something wrong. I dont know how many of you are aware of my knee condition. I have sliding patella syndrome, also known as Patello-Femoral syndrome. (you can read about it if you want to at http://www.orthaheel.com/knee2.html, just copy and paste the link.) I have developed horrible nerve damage. I can barely walk anymore. Just to walk to the bathroom puts me in such agony Id almost rather have a catheter. Before anyone gets all up in arms, I will be fine, in time. Now that the nasty business is out of the way, I want you all to know I havent forgotten any of you, and you are in my thoughts, as I hope I am in yours. Be safe, sleep sweet, and wish for eternal happiness. :)

No big deal, nothin spectacular, just wanted to let everyone know I updated my profile in light of my relationship status, so if you havent rated me yet go do it :P and I wouldnt mind much if somehow I get leveled up :D although I think I might just be staying a rockstar forever *sigh* lol Lots of love!

Ok Im not horrible LMAO but I have been neglecting my online duties in exchange for living my life. Ive been hanging out with a local friend a lot, something I miss doing. Most of my friends have been online for so long I cant even remember the last time I just hung out with anyone! Its great to have a life, but I feel bad that Im not on as much as I used to be. :( I hope no one forgot about me! I dont get rated anymore, my points stay the same, I get very few comments, except from my sweetpea Synfully (Love ya babe!) and some random comments from various friends, but I dont get much else. Ya'll forgot about poor Skoobz didnt you. :( I shall go cry now. :(

I havent even had my first rat a week, and I already got a second. Ill get to that in a moment. I got help through a program for 50% of the back rent I owe, so it looks like I wont be evicted. THANK GOD! All I have to do is pay the money back @ $20 a month. Anyway, although I will be posting more pics in a couple minutes, here is the new baby. Its BLURRY as fuck, they dont sit still long lol.(Obviously, the smaller one is the baby, the other one is the one Ive had a week.)

You know, I know Im nothin special. I know I aint much to look at. I know Im not anyones idea of the perfect woman. But for fucks sake I assumed I was good enough for SOMEONE. I get so tired of being rejected. Some assholes have enough balls to laugh even. "Look at the pathetic fat bitch tryin to get laid ha ha ha ha". I dont WANT to be single. I dont WANT to send out my picture and wait for someone to think I might just be worth their time. Dont get me wrong I LOVE MY FRIENDS. But sometimes its not enough. I could deal with the shit Im goin through a lot more if I had someone who truely loves me......

So I took my PC to the pawn shop today, and they would only give me $30. So I told them to suck my dick. Of course, they were a little bit confused, since I dont have a dick. LMAO. Anyway, looks like not only can I stay online, but Im pretty fucked as far as my rent goes. I dont think it will help at all, but could you all please pray for me, or at least send out good thoughts? I need all the help I can get.

Im gonna mumm about this too, I need feedback. I need $400. Fast. I have a week. Otherwise I will be homeless. Should I sell my pc? I havent felt this hopeless in a while. And its lasted for-EV-er. :(

Im gonna mumm about this too, I need feedback. I need $400. Fast. I have a week. Otherwise I will be homeless. Should I sell my pc? I havent felt this hopeless in a while. And its lasted for-EV-er. :(

Ive tried everything I know to do, Ive prayed, Ive asked for help, Ive sold everything I can, and still, I have issues that I can not overcome. When did I lose control over my own life? When did things get so out of hand that I am powerless to navigate my own destiny? When I was younger, I had serious issues with depression and suicidal urges. Through therapy, I have learned how to constructively deal with urges like that, and lately, its like everything Ive learned has gone straight out of my brain! Its torture to get out of bed anymore. I wake up and look around and literally say to myself, or maybe the cats, who knows, "Man, did I wake up AGAIN?" Anyway I just needed to put these thoughts down somewhere, get them out of my head, or at least share them or something. No comments are needed. And if suddenly Im not online anymore, its not because Ive done something to myself. I have an eviction notice and a disconnect on my electric, so if Im not online anymore, one of those two things happened. Love to all my friends!