Tuere's blog: "Random Musings"

It's 2011!

Yes I know some are surprised it came this quickly.  The whole "seems like yesterday when..."  comes to mind.

Things that will happen this year that I have no control over:

1. 20 Year High School reunion - am I going to go? hmmm who knows, the fact that 20 years has gone by since I graduated is a bit mind blowing!

2. Kindergarten will be done forever! - my youngest will have finished and I am not having another

This brings me to a place where I do have some control (kind of)

Insanity will try to creep in and take over my life. - I will not let it!

So Here's to 2011!  Make every day count!

Happy New Year My Friends! 

I couldn't think of what to do.  

My friends at work had been there for me through my time of upheaval and I wanted to show them how much it meant to me.  Being very short on funds, I didn't want to just get cheap little gifts.  I wanted something more meaningful.

So I bought Thank you Cards, not the pre printed one either.  

You won't believe how liberating it is to sit and think about what one has done for you and try to truly convey your gratitude in the written word. 

Yes written, not typed but written.

 I wrote out only 7 or 8 cards to my friends, but the reaction I got was more then I expected.

 I was thanked and hugged for taking the time to make them feel special.  They were thanking me for acknowledging their good  friendship.

Who would have thunk that?

recognizing even the little things can be a present in itself.

Happy Holidays to All and Best Wishes for the New Year

So my youngest started Kindergarten today.  And I have mixed feelings.

YAY! he's in School!  and OMG! he's in school with other children for the first time and wow did I really go to HIGH SCHOOL with his/her mother??

It's a small world out there and if you happen to live in the same city you went to high school at, it seems that much smaller.

I am actually not complaining this time about it, there is a comfort knowing that you are around people you know...even if it's almost 20 years removed.

Yep the first day of school.  Now let's see how my boy does on his first FULL day of school.

(Did I mention he was only there 2 hours today??)

I admit I am not a whiz at computers.

I understand a little more then the basics, but not an expert by any means.

So I go to those who are supposed to know better then I.  A computer expert.

After telling them all I did to try to maintain my system ie Full computer scans with anti virus, more then 2 times a week.  Weekly Defrag on the computer, all I get is:

Well the lag or slowness you are experiencing maybe because you ISP is slow or because the game/web page/site is slow.  Call your ISP and have them do a speed test.

hmmm should I be happy it's not my comp, and just yell at the cable company that thier cable modem is too slow for my computer?

and how much time am I going to have to devote to this?  Believe me, calling a tech at the cable company is sketchy at best. you may get a good one, then you may get one who wants you off the phone.

I believe I am a bit frustrated.

*sigh*

Here I am writing in this blog again. 

So many things are going on at once it also seems insane.

I had a good friend of mine get married – was even invited to the wedding, but I couldn’t go.  Sad I couldn’t go but am happy for him and his family.  Everyone deserves happiness and this is one of the sweetest guys I know.

So that’s a good thing right?  Yeah

What else is going on, hmmm …

I am in a place in my life where I should be settled, one would think.  But what is settled exactly?  I look around me and think that I should be doing more somehow.  Are things going well?  I would say yes and no. 

Some aspects of my life are wonderful, I feel secure and happy.  Other areas are not so rosy, they are up in the air really.

I could complain about how my eldest is as hard headed as a Marble countertop.  But he’s a teenager, so I make a few allowances.  (very few if you ask him)

My youngest will always be my little devil. Those of you who have heard me on the phone while he’s up know exactly what I mean.  He can be so sweet and so cute and then turn and do a 180 and become the brat from outer space.

So I think I kind of stand on this narrow ledge.  If I lean too far, I’ll fall.  So I go the other way…the place where there’s a grip, and hold on.  But that’s not good enough.

I have to also move forward.

Here I am, getting it together to make a move forward.  Step by Step and a day at a time it should work.

Hey guys! 

I am in an auction - please come bid on me!

http://www.fubar.com/photo.php?u=2402215&albumid=1624125&i=54048221&idx=24

- Auction ended - Thanks for those who bid!  Thanks also to those who rated!

When everything seems to go wrong, how do you keep from going insane?

How do you not just lose it.

How many things can you have dumped on your plate before it breaks?

when you ask for patience, does more stuff happen?

How do you keep from exploding?

When it seems that no one listens or understands, what is that magic line that you can't cross?

Screaming and yelling and ranting and raving doesn't work. 

Crying and saying why me never works.

So how do you keep from going insane and exploding?

I've decided to write more....again.

Always have feelings that get jumbled up and tangled and don't know how to deal with them sometimes.

Usually I am writing about being hurt because when I am happy I am just too busy being happy.

So now I am going to write when the mood strikes me.  And it may be babbling but I can do that.

So I was having a discussion with a friend regarding love.

How there are so many different types of love and how people shouldn't be so narrow in thier view of it.

Can you love more then one person at a time?

Absolutely

Can you be in love with more then one person?

That was what we were debating.  to me in Emotional love is different then love, it's more encompassing and more consuming.

I always wanted to know what people thought about it.

What do you think?

Hmmm maybe I'll post a Mumm?

It’s come to the end of 2009.  Another year is history. It is the time we sit back and take an accounting of how the year has gone. (Yes sounds very critical and serious).

I close the year in a better position then I started the year – emotionally.  YAY! Go me!

I must admit the lows of this year felt really low and the heartache very real, but it was worth it all in the end because I feel stronger.  I was able to let go of those who really didn’t want me and keep close those who not only wanted me; but also helped me through those dark times.

I have found that there are many types of friends that flit through your life.  I have always known that we are meant to meet people for a reason, that there is some lesson to be learned from them or by them.

I learned that loving someone does not mean that they can or will be able to love you back. 

I learned that letting go of the hurt lessens its impact in the long run.

I also learned that unexpected things happen, if you keep positive about them, they work out to your advantage.  Not always the way you THINK it should work out.

I have been blessed with another year in which I have seen my boys grow and some what mature (hey…gotta be honest here)

I thank my friends and family for being there for me when I thought the pain would eat me alive. For sticking by me and making me remember to smile.

My smile is something I have been complimented on (this makes me blush!) but it also means that I am truly happy when it’s a full smile.  Those who have been around me know – I have been smiling a lot more then crying this year – and that’s a great thing.

To all – May your best day in 2009 be your worst day in 2010!

Happy New Year!!

Push back the pain and smile.

Push back the hurt and smile

Be there for your friends to help them through their hurts, their pain and their struggles, and then smile.

Don’t stop to think about you.  Don’t stop to see you.

If you do, then the wave that you’ve been pushing back comes roaring in.

Then you are crushed, drowning, and no one can help you because you are alone.

For when it’s all said and done, you are alone.