destineedawn76's blog: "ramblings of a twisted mind...."

TO MY MOMMY......... Current mood: hopeful Category: Writing and Poetry To my mommy that was never there,To my mommy i wish to share. This poem from me to you,something so sad yet, so very true. To my mommy i needed you near,so you could hold all my fear. To my mommy i needed so much, to see your smile, to feel your touch. To my mommy i loved you so, because you made me head to toe. To my mommy i don't understand,why did you leave us for that mean man? To my mommy how could this be?You left and never came back for me. To my mommy so many tears i've shed,crying and angry upon my bed. To my mommy in time you'll see,the beautiful lady that has become of me. I write this poem to you from me,Remember your daughter... I'm Destiny...... Everyone has a sad story about the life they have and mine |is just another one of many. Although, life is tough and things don't always go the way we would like them to, youmust play the hand that was dealt and hope that everything turns out for the better. I admit that i have not always madegood decisions but life is about learning and to learn some-times you have to fail. My mother failed and i hope that one day she will see her ways and ask to be forgiven. I choose tonot live with the anger anymore. It will eat at all that is good in your heart. So in saying that live each day with no regretsand all those "mistakes" laugh at them and learn. Hope for a better day and live the day your in. Destinee_Dawn

I'd breathe but there is no air left in this room. The shadows lurk within my mind i feel abandon, doom. What once made me hope for a brighter day, has left an imprint and faded all hope away. Where did my life go so very wrong? I am weak but once was very strong. The tears that once stained my saddend face, have vanished, gone without a trace. Angry and angrier i'm not sad anymore. That saddnes built up it,s anger times four. But still i am silent, no words left to say. My lips left sealed, the words to come another day. Destinee_Dawn

Friday, November 09, 2007 ramblings of a twisted mind...... Current mood: numb Category: Life The time is 11:42pm and i am restless..... My mind is somewhere in a far off place and my body is left in the present. I wonder if life is supposed to be this difficult or have I choosen to be lost?? The words are so hard to find these days and I think it is better to just not talk at all. I guess i feel like if i had something profound to say it would have already come out but, again i am speechless. That does not mean that i dont think or feel it just means that i am not sure what is right to say. The whole love thing has me completely misunderstood! I have always been told that i am a mean person when it comes to relationships. Maybe i am just one of those people that have to be alone. Maybe i am to difficult for the average person to be with. I think i am misunderstood alot of the times. I grew up a lonley person and had to depend on just me. I have always made it through the bad shit and usually come out okay. Is my luck running out? Maybe the time has come for me to just accept that i am made just for me. Is that even possible??? I was always told that there is someone out in this world for everyone. I used to believe that but now i am not so sure. Does this make me cry? No i think it is just a fact of life. A cruel one! It does make me sad though. I know that i could change parts of me to make things better but then that wouldnt be me. If i made myself passive and tender then i would not be Destinee_Dawn now would I? I know that i sound fucked up but if people change to be with someone else that would mean they weren't ok to begin with. I don't know! Who am I to judge what is right and wrong? I can only tell you that I have dated men and women and on both sides I have found the same problems and the same heartaches! Just when I think I have got it all figured out things seem to fall apart. There are many paths to choose in this world. Finding the right one is the hardest part of going down that path. Sometimes the choice is what makes or breaks a person. Where do you go when you dont know what to do?? Sometimes I want to reach out and hope that someone will grab me but to depend on that is crazy to me. I cant be weak for there are people out there who will take advantage of that and use it. It is sad because it is usually someone close to you that you thought you knew. So it leaves me with a tough exterior that is kept under lock and key! Very few could say that they know the "real me" and other will tell you that I am unpredictible, sassy, and of course my favorite mean! Well I am that but those who know me will tell you that those are a few of my personality traits but there is more.... So if you are reading this please keep in mind that these are just ramblings of my twisted little mind.... Take it for what you will... Destinee_Dawn