- Zombie Monkeys caused the extinction of the dinosaurs.
- Zombie Monkeys are the only reason France is still a country
- Zombie Monkeys created all of the world religions to encourage wars between humans
- Zombie Monkeys can change their appearance to look like any living thing.
- Every boy band in the history of the world has been made up entirely of Zombie Monkeys.
- Advanced as they are, Zombie Monkeys still like to throw feces.
- The Easter Island statues are left over pawns from an ancient game of Monkey Zombie chess.
- Zombie Monkeys control all of the governments of the world.
- There is no known way to kill a Zombie Monkey.
- Zombie Monkeys created reality television.
- Most natural disasters are just covers for massive Zombie Monkey covert actions.
- Surprisingly, Paris Hilton is not a Zombie Monkey.
- Zombie Monkeys faked the moon landing
- Zombie Monkeys killed Steve Irwin because he was getting too close to the truth. Jeff Corwin is actually a Zombie Monkey.
- Zombie Monkeys have the strength of ten men.
- Zombie Monkeys can't get drunk but they do catch a small buzz from creamed corn.
- Zombie Monkeys should not be applied directly to the forehead.