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Address the issue of Internet anonymity regularly. Enforce to your child that his or her identity is not unknown. Limit identity to first name only, omitting age, address, and other personal information. Limit contact to friends from school.
Practice manners both on and off the computer. Plainly said, if your child or another won't say something to someone's face, it should be sent through text or IM. Encourage civility at all times. Explain that the lack of face to face speech and the missing inflections of speech often result in misinterpretation of the message reader. Encourage your kids to treat others like they would like to be treated as well.
Cut out the gossip. Yes, kids love to chat about this person and that. However, this frequently escalates into a full-blown fight born on the misinterpretation of a message. Remember the "pass the message" game we played as kids? Remember how the message changed by the end of the circle? Firmly telling your child you don't want him or her to participate in gossip stops this hurtful conduct in its tracks.
Use the blocking feature on IM. IM addresses are rather easy to get, especially among school friends. Block those children that provoke fights with your kids. "Pay no never mind" goes a long way to taking the wind out of the sails of a cyber bully. If the person ahs no audience, he can't torment your child.
Be there. Parents have great power to influence and comfort our kids. Pop into your kid's room and examine the IM goings on. Don’t intrude but encourage your child to share what is happening with their friends online. Just as you ask, "how was school" everyday, monitor the messaging every day.
Prohibit any picture uploading and phone picture taking. This is a recipe for disaster. One cyber bully can send one incriminating picture to every phone, IM, e-mail, or MySpace page in a school. Take this option completely out of the equation.
Make the assumption that people aren't going to be nice. As tough as it sounds, this is a necessity in today's age of instant contact with the world. Talk to your child about how people will use information against them and to limit their trust of people, especially online.
Clearly and plainly discuss inappropriate content. Cursing, inappropriate pictures and mean-spirited messages can be saved on any computer. This is your proof to a bullying incident so use it. Also remind your child that this very avenue of proof could be used against him or her as well. Many children who get bullied strike back in anger, creating an ugly back and forth situation that often escalates.
Protect passwords. Be adamant with your children to never share their passwords with even their closest friends.
Watch your children closely. Very likely, if your kid has trouble on the playground, he or she will have trouble on line. Be observant for sad or withdrawn behavior, sleeplessness, or a reluctance to attend school or functions.
Evaluate the severity of the situation accurately. Just like with any "he said, she said" situation, IM and text speech and bullying among known individuals is very hard to interpret. However, behavior such as sharing identity information or threats of harm should be addressed immediately. Choosing the correct path depends on your situation but often simply contacting the parents will help stop the negative behavior.
Act immediately if an unknown individual is threatening your child. Contact your local law enforcement office for help to determine how to stop this type of bullying. Save any IM conversations but be aware than a paper printout isn't enough for legal action. Consult with law enforcement for further information.
