Diana's blog: "Poetry"

The knot is there The hideous knot I can’t bare Bringing its unwelcomed pain Spreading through, corrupting my brain Origin of my depression Stays without invitation What will I do to ease the pain? Drink so much I forget my name Or slice my wrists till blood is flowing Death is knocking and I’m not ignoring Will this be my final day Or will salvation come my way?

Emotions I should feel Escape into the surreal Sadness should me overcome But quiet calmness has made me numb The pain I create, little guilt does it make And it's not enough to make me break Tears I should shed For a love that is dead From my eyes do not flow Emotions my icy heart doesn’t know

Cold steel reflects cold eyes Are these the eyes that others see? When I smile, do my eyes commit? Or are they the same steel eyes That now stare back at me? Cold steel reflects cold eyes. Devastation without sweet tears Tears have been constrained by The endlessly gnarling Knot. Cold steel reflects cold eyes. Release of the uncontrolled pain Release of the uncontrolled madness in my brain Cold steel reflects the red drops Of control Ive regained.

I do not like this stranger that I have become. I know that you dont either. The person you love doesnt exist anymore. She is even more of a stranger. At times I am able to play the role By reflecting what I know you want to see. But it takes a lot out of me, And Ive run out of energy. Its harder and harder to conjure her. I feel I have no emotion, no hope, no soul. I dont know why you stay. I wont blame you for going away. Youre living with an empty shell. You might as well be living in hell. You dont have to join me.

Whose thoughts are these? They are not mine. Mine are to please Not to resign. Dark thoughts dont belong in my mind. My thoughts are to be of another kind. Of love, and light, and stars so bright Of songs of praise that fill the days Where have these bright thoughts hidden? On someone elses synapses ridden? Stolen from me like a thief in the night So all I can feel is this eternal plight. Arrest this thief and return what was raided? It's too late, for now Im jaded.

A war is going on inside my head. A war between madness and sanity Oh, Athena, goddess of war and wisdom, Help me defeat these mad invaders. So far the madness is prevailing My doctors weapons are failing I tried to release some of the pain, But my weapon was dull my battle in vain. Oh, where does this come from? Why am I so weak? Why can I not control the thoughts That my own mind speaks?

I come to you veiled in black My tainted soul inside out Can you see its decayed aura? Guilt, betrayal will not cleanse With soap or steel wool. Help me deal! Shove my soul back in its place. Put a wreath of daisies on my brow. Adorn me in a robe of white. Cleanse me;You're the only one who knows how

Silently I watch the day Go by in gentle dismay Filled with sorrow without reason Perhaps it is my own hearts treason Nowhere to turn to relieve my burden So I silently sit watching the days curtain Release of the pain is what I desire Rage kindles an internal fire Inside it stays as I wait Silently sitting trying not to break

Ive been falling since I met you. Should I close my eyes? In this inky darkness, does it matter? Through this velvet, eyes are of no use. And if you happen to catch me, I'll have no need for eyes You are touch, your poetry, your seduction Will suffice. But what if you dont catch me Will I keep rolling and tumbling into the abyss? Blinded,Empty Or will I meet my timely end With sudden sweet termination?