Blow Pop's blog: "poetry"

I see you looking at me Yet you’ve said many times before That you don’t like me and never will But inside, looking at your eyes and through your soul It is telling me what exactly you’re looking for A lover who’s true to themselves and to you A lover who’s strong Who will love you forever for who you are Not what you are A lover who will never hurt you or make you cry Someone who’s actually worth your tears Someone looking inside to see the true beauty within For you and I both know That looks are only skin deep but Your beautiful and sparkling or Your ugly and unpolished personality Lasts forever and decides how beautiful Or ugly you are And well, baby looking in your eyes I’m forever yours Because your eyes are telling me That I’m forever yours You’re eyes are telling me That I’m the one you’ve been looking And waiting for all your life So baby take me and I’ll be forever yours I know you can see it in my eyes So stop denying it Please take me I’m yours That’s what my eyes are saying So you know I’ll be and I’ll always stay yours I’m forever yours.

i am a sarcastic female who hates her life. i see the world as pathetic, ugly, and cold. i hear what no one else hears or feruses to hear. i see black roses on top of a freshly dug grave. i try and pretend to be what people would like me to be. i feel the weight of the world on my chest. i touch everything, but nothing at all i worry that my life will soon be over. i stand alone in my thoughts. i am a true individual. i soar above the rest on silver and black wings of fire. i stand alone in my feelings and beliefs. i understand the true meaning of life. i know what its like to loose friends and family. i try not to feel the pain of friends who are dead i try not to think of those i've lost. i see the world as it truly is. i understand what most don't. i see what everyone else sees. i see what they don't see. i hear what everyone else hears. i hear what they don't. i speak the way they all do. i speak differently than them. i am a lost soul who's glass world shattered long ago. 01-06-03 ok a word about this one i wrote it in high school as a poem for a class and the teacher almost had a heart attack reading this....he had to sit down to finish it and he was reading it out loud which made it all the much better a noisy classroom completely hushed by the third line.....nate shoudl remember that i think he was actually in class that day...but i pulled it off the top of my head in 10 minutes and the reason it is i am i think etc that was the format it HAD to be in s

I don't know why but i feel like im living one big lie at least when im around certain people i love you with every part of me but please baby don't ask me why i can't explain it there are no words or explanations i don't know why i love you or when i started loving you but i know i do now im not sure if i could still see myself with you in a year or two i try not to think like that every other time i have it seems to have jeopardized the relationship i know you're heart has been broken many times before but don't you know that mine has as well? im afraid to get close to you and let you know whats really in my heart but i don't want to push you away and i don't want to wind up hurt again im really messed up and confused im sorry thats how i am then again you're confused as well maybe neither one of us is ready for a relationship at least with eachother maybe you should get back together with your ex it would definetely kill me but it might be all for the better i don't want to hurt you and i know you don't want to hurt me i just don't know what to do everythings so confusing whatever happens just know that ill always love you babe. november 8, 2004

you got me really messed up and really confused i don't know what to do you got me as dizzy as a bumblebee and like that bumblebee is attracted to flowers and addicted to them, i am attracted and addicted to you Its not fair that you're doing this to me it shouldn't be allowed. you're messed up for this you pretend to be my friend then you're a d--- to me. thats screwed up and you know it. ps. you suck

you've got me as confused as a dizzy bumblebee i don't know what to do. its been 4 months since we broke up but i'm still in love with you you're sending me mixed signals boy, and its drivin me up the wall. please tell me what the deal is before i take a fall. you've go tme confused as that darn dizzy bumblebee and damn it i don't know what to do. it's been 4 months since we split and damn it, i'm still in love with you. you need to lead me in the right direction so i can finally take a stand. as soon as you can do that, i can get a helping hand. please stay don't abandon me, then go and slam the door. in the end, you might just go, and make me hit the floor.

i'm really messed up and really confused. i thought everything was going fine until earlier this week, you became so distant. now, i really need to know if its true. now, i'm not so sure that you still want me. tow, you've made me so confused that i don't know what to do when you were around, life was great i swear/ you made me warm when i was cold. when you were near, i couldn't tell you this, but you were the one who made everything see so right, who made me feel like i was really loved. who kept me company on those long Tuesday nights but now im hearing that you have told my "brother" 2 weeks ago that you waqnt to break up with me so you asked him to ask me out even though im still with you really i just don't get it what did i do to deserve this? is it something i said or did? something that you have said or done? just that you don't love me anymore? or is it that you just want to be friends? really, i'd like to know. i feel i have a right to know why you are doing this when it's messing up my insides. it hurts me inside that you can't tell me yourself i understand that you don't really want to hurt me but can't you see? by doing this you, are hurting me more than you ever would if you just broke up with me. i need to know your reasons, your thoughts, your feelings, and everything else. i want to try and work this out between you and me. i just don't want to be left in the dark. don't i have a right to know exactly why you feel this way? so even if i never get to say this no matter what happens i love you. i don't care if we break up because you are the one guy that i really, truly care about and nothing is going to change that so babe just remember that no matter what has happened wheteher or not we've broken up or are not speaking, ill still say "i love you" that, i think, is honestly true love that never ends so babe just remember from now till forever always i love you 14:37 - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove another of my poems i'm fucked up beyond repair how i got here i don't know but i know you had something to do with it that's your kind of thing i wish you'd leave me alone but i know it won't happen i wish you were farther away but i know you aren't i wish you'd just die but every time i try to kill you you always come back to life your memory won't even go away somehow i wound up in this pit of disrepair and as far as i can see you're not here theres not much to see its reall dark all the time theres a light but its real small and real far away its never hot or cold theres never a breeze or any humidity i wonder ever day if im in purgatory or hell

It'll be days till somebody notices I'm gone and no one will hear me screaming i'm terrified-we're all alone you reach out to touch me and i see your eyes gleaming i'll pull away, i'll resent myself for playing the fool you'll stroke my hair and call me a tease i'll kick myself for being so stupid i knew this all along, i'm an object meant to please i'm regretting ever letting you know me promising to fulfill my hopes, and my fears you're coming closer, i'm backing away hoping you don't see my shaking hands and threatening tears you look into my eyes and ask me 'what's wrong'? and my glares just seem to amuse you with the way your scolding and chastising me you'd think i've been planning this simply to confuse you you'll tell me i'm pretty-i'll hate you for it i might even start to cry you'll laugh and say 'you believed me before' and other things i wish i could deny an urge to die will come over me pathetic, begging please don't i'll whisper 'not now' and promise not to tell and you know i'll be so ashamed that i won't i'll gasp for air, shut my eyes tight focus on resisting but when i see a smile creeping up your face i'll realize its you i'm assisting as i'll pull back my hair i know i'll hate myself for giving in sit quietly, go numb it's easier to let you win we'll go in circles, hating each other deeply your wandering thoughts, and my blank stare you tell me it'll be fine and all over soon if i just tell you that i'll always care i'll realize i have no choice let myself sink into your lies for now and give up the fight intent on getting through the next hour i'm accustomed to this, i get through it alright you'll kiss my cheek, tell me you love me and i won't bother to utter a feeble reply i won't look up, and you'll mutter 'don't tell' i'll nod in understanding of our goodbye

A broken heart, a broken home, hidden secrets no one knows, Scared to death, Afraid to live, afraid to die, who knows where, my broken soul will go when im gone. Who will care?Will anyones hearts be broken when i go?Will any one know? will anyone care? Will anyone really cry? A broken bottle will cut you a broken heart will bleed and hurt A broken bone will hurt then heal a broken soul will drift along alone. No one will ever get close to me i won't let them i won't trust them a permanent broken heart presently resides in me prevents me if your heart gets broken you'll get issues where you can't trust or love. Suicidal thoughts ran through my head like visions of sugar plums dancing in kids heads. I hate lots of things people say i have no heart im not really happy its just a really good convincing mask. Very anti conformity im just an individual whos laying broken on the floor screaming broken words with no one to hear me. An emptiness inside nothingness to fill it drowning me eating me from the inside out and destroying me consuming me my demons consume me and haunt me they don't want to leave me and im still here lying here broken on the floor screaming my broken words at the broken people who will never hear me lost in there broken little worlds.

i try over and over again to drink myself into submission but it just doesn't work. i keep thinking maybe i can drink away the pain for an hour or two. but it just doesn't work you're always there and there's no escape i wish there was. last night i turned into exactly what i tried not to be. a chain-smoking alcoholic. 12 cigaretts, 1 pint of smirnoff ice, and a 12 oz bottle of smirnoff watermelon and you were still my predominant thought. i wish you'd just go away and leave me be for a day so maybe i could regain some of my sanity.