Blow Pop's blog: "poetry"

Somebody help me, My life is over, I'm falling, Down.........., Into a deep dark pit, As I'm nearing the, Bottom I can hear, Snakes, crocodiles,alligators, Scorpions and all sorts of, Ugly squirmy things, Oh wait, %0

you use to be so beautiful i use to idolize you i wonder what happened now your beauty has disapeared and i no longer idolize you i see you as the ugly demon you are i don't wish to see you as you use to appear i like you better this way my rose colored glasses have been taken off and thrown away i see the world as it is in black and white i'm so much happier now i'll burn my bridges behind me so i don't go back to people like you manipulative, full of malice, full of scorn you tried to crash my spirits and sell my soul but you didn't realize that i was stronger than you you couldn't do it and i started to see your true colors i'm on my way to better people and a better life goodbye forever i'll never see you again i've buried your love 6 feet under and never coming back to dig it up i'm taking everything you ever gave me and burning it so i have nothing left of you except memory

I love watching you sleep so peacefully serene so trusting and beautiful It makes me wonder why you chose me you could have anyone you want so why'd you chose me babe? We haven't been together all that long but already you trust me enough to fall asleep in my room and know I won't leave you that I'll always be close by As you lay here on my bed wrapped in my quilt arm wrapped around my leg and laying on my pillow with your face buried in my knees I sit here writing this poem and thinking of how much i truly love you and how much you mean to me and how lucky i am to have you Around you i feel so loved protected and trusted. No matter what i feel however you probably feel different of course you like me put friends over relationships even though i do that I absolutely hate it even when i do it i hate it i hate how protective your freinds are over you and how they seem to think that all i'm going to do is break your heart i promise you that i won't as long as you don't break mine My friends are the same way and it drives me insane i hate how you think that i'd cheat on you darlin' don't you know that i have more integrity, dignity, and respect respect for you and myself to do that and that if i did i couldn't live with myself you told me you weren't sure of how much you loved me but you knew for sure that i loved you more than as just a friend thats true im not sure the depths of my love for you yet but i know i love you quite a bit tell me what am i suppose to do when you decide to disappear how am i suppose to feel how am i suppose to react? when you tell me you were out all night until the morning at one of your girl friends houses it seems to me that you don't want me to be jealous and you want me to trust you but thats so hard for me to do It seems every time I start to trust people i lose them especially when i love them. i don't want to lose you i'm not sure yet if i could spend the rest of my life with you but i know i could spend a year or two or maybe more of my life with you and in your life but that won't happen when you hold stuff back from me honestly, id rather you die from doing something you love to do or have a passion for rather than something stupid like drugs or alcohol i've let myself get attached to you emotionally i promised myself that wouldn't happen ever again you bring out the happiness in my life and the passion in my life and my determination i really hope you feel the same way i do i love being with you my days are so much better when you're around im hapier and allow myself to have fun and be a little bit irresponsible i want to be in your life it hurts me that i'm not you piss me off with some of the things you say but its so hard to stay angry at you right now i can't see myself without you by my side you are my motivation and determination please baby, try and decide how much you truly love me and please let me be in your life. always remember honey, I Love You.

im sorry things had to end this way im sorry that i listen to people when they have a valid opinion dont be mad at me for that its just how i am i feel horrible enough for things ending this way it probably hurts you more than it hurts me because of what you're going through please don't cry it makes it harder or at least wait until we hang up stop asking questions and explanations i can't give them to you right now i don't want to talk about them you know how i am when i feel like it you'll know all the reasons i really hate hurting you like this but it hurt me too lets not end like this...... i know you still love and care for me but its killing us both.... i need to sort out my life you need to sort out yours its for the best goodbye for now.

Its been over a year since we started going out, about two years since we started talking two years since we have been friends. and a little over a year since you broke up with me. So I should be over you by now huh? Isn't that how it goes?Friends for a month, lovers for 2, Friends for the rest of the time? No one understands why i'm still not over you. Heres the reason why the one thing i refused to tell you. I love you with my heart, body, and soul, and will never stop loving you. You were my best friend you understood me when no one else did. You loved me even with how fucked up i was you were concerned about me and encouraged me to put my homework and shit for school before you but most of all you loved me and i trusted you. Yet the minute I gave my heart to you, you put a "return to sender" stamp on it and gave it back in pieces on a platter. I knew it was too good to last i just kept hoping it wasn't. I know i wasn't your type of girl I know your relationship history i had morals and the others didn't i had a mind of my own and refused conformity and the others didn't. I can still remember the day you broke up with me how hurt i was how much i cried how much i loved you how much i cared. You were a few of my firsts The first one i ever loved the first i wasn't forced into kissing the first i ever cried over when i lost you the first to break up with me the first who's ever seen me willingly strip for the first i kissed before we were lovers the first i've gone the farthest with thus far the first i was heartbroken over the first who was exactly my age the first i miss the first ive ever had over while my parents were out most of all the first i respected and trusted in a long time. WHy did we ever break up? It was wrong and we both know it. Why did i let you go so easily? why didn't i fight to keep you? I never fought to keep you because im a wuss when it comes to love. I miss you and wish you would come back to me Everything concerning me and you just felt so right so what went wrong? I can still remember how your kissed felt and tasted i can remember how you felt and i molded perfectly into you making us "one". I refuse to let go i still have all the gifts you gave to me the two frogs that kissed the five fake roses cuz i despise real ones theat aren't dead and you're love. Just remember that no matter what even though i couldn't tell you this but no matter what I Love You.

Every time I close my eyes, I still see the dining roomthat you had prepared so elegantly, with are usual favoritedecaying motif, anything dark, drab or dead. Used candles andwax dripped everywhere, a slab of bloody meat, our favorite black goblets filled with the most expensive red wine from thecorner drug store. The smell of dead roses kissed the atmosphereof the room so seductively....but there was something else I couldn't quite decipher, some other scent, but beautiful none the less. Everything seemed so perfect, this time, you had put dead roses just about everywhere you could lay them, dinner looked delicious, you even remembered the music this time. Yousaid tonight would be special, you said it would be perfect in everyway. Things seemed to be just that. Everything in its place,and beautiful, (and that scent...) I sat and waited for youbecoming intoxicated and seduced by the atmosphere. I remember wondering if I still looked good after waiting all this time for you.I decided to look at myself in the bathroom mirror, as I was walking down the hall I remember thinking to myself and smiling,wondering how you were going to make tonight special. Then I opened the door to the bathroom. I smiled as a tear ran down my check.I realized the meaning behind all of this, and that the mysterious,beautiful, sweet loveingly decaying aroma was indeed something perfectand beautiful!There in the bathtub filled with red wine and dead roses, with your razor on the edge, and large pools of the most beautiful dark red on the floorthere in the tub.... was sweet beautiful decaying...you

He’s like a cold In a way you want him But then again you don’t. He’s contagious, he grows on you And once you get him You don’t want to let him go. If you feel like letting him go He’s not ready to let you go. If he feels like letting you go You’re not ready to let him go. I need the love That only he can give me He was the only one that I’ve Ever loved in the way I love him. When we were together, I was too afraid to tell him That I loved him. I feared my heart would yet again get broken. Now, I realize, by saying it That it didn’t really matter Because it was inevitable, What happened had to happen. We broke up And still have our differences But I still love him Even if he doesn’t love me though he loves her. He doesn’t realize All the heartache he caused me And how crazy over him I still am. I realize we’re both high school seniors and we’re both friends but still I love him. Every time we talk I try and be nice to his new chick, But really I can’t stand the Thought of the two of them together. I’ve heard all the excuses I’ve heard all the lies Now all I want is No more goodbyes. What was the real reason In which he broke up with me? “Differences”, was his answer, “in our lives” he blamed it on. I think its because The girls at his school didn’t like me And were spreading lies. Whatever the reason, I’ll act as if I don’t care, At least around him anyway But my friends really know the truth: That I care for him so much. He hurt me so much, He was the first guy to Ever make me cry when He said “goodbye” It’s been 3 months Since we broke up And it still feels Like yesterday. He’ll never know My true feelings unless I tell him. But I’m not going to Till I feel that I am ready. My heart is still shattered Broken in pieces on the floor Only he has the glue that can mend it. He just doesn’t know that his love is what I truly need. I wish I could tell him that I still love him.

I stand naked before youin a cacophonous windbeaten and barelike Caligula's whoreused and discardedbruises of your pleasurestill fresh upon my mind.My breath ragged and coldwhispered pleas for releaseheard only by the ancient behemothsof pain and agonythat sway and dance in the abysmal mistswith the spirits of the broken and shatteredat the edge of this realm of insanity.My words now deemed aprocryphallips sealed by the thorns of abhorenceeyes cast to the moldering groundgazing deep in the miasma gathering theregrowing steadily beneath your blind eyeas you drink the tattered remnants of my soulfrom a chalice of cold silver and disregard.

Writing endless words on pieces of paper Sending them out in endless letters wondering if you ever read them or just see my name on the envelope and throw them away? this is one you will read see I canged my name and my address so you wouldn't recognize it and i typed it so my handwriting you wouldn't see i haven't heard from you in months so i guess we're through you grew tired of me and decided to leave without any warning or letters explaining that you were leaving what about all the fun we had when we were together we were so in love or so i thought so this is me now hurt and broken blinded by your love at one time yet since i don't have it anymore im starting to see through my own eyes seeing how cold and heartless you really are i hope you know that i hate you for all the pain that you've put me through I never want to see you again this will be my last words ever to you I hope you choke when you're sucking someone else's love like you did to me i'm disapearing now out of your life forever if i ever see you again fucker you can kiss my ass goodbye. 08-12-04