Timmy RL Fake and Chairman of the Bored's blog: "Poems"

Look at the tracks I have left.
Beyond the paper, and the photos,
Look now, as you never did when it would have meant more.
The things I loved an enjoyed are still there.
Some will always be there, but still,
I am asking that you look now, and reflect, please.
Do you recognize the shoes I wore,
And know which coat I preferred?
Check the pockets and you’ll see some things I often kept.
Look on the walls of each room.
It’s like the first time you’ve seen them,
So please don’t get lost. Too bad you don’t know this place better.
Look all around and visualize.
This is your last chance to know me,
So that you can talk with other people like we were together.
Don’t overlook anything!
It’s all there – music and movies,
Socks, toothpaste, bread crumbs, and un-fluffed pillows.
The couch where I napped,
The remote controls, an empty glass,
Do you even know what I might have been drinking?
Take one last look.
You have no choice now,
But to admit that all this is tragically unfamiliar.
The sadness is gone from me now.
It stays behind with you all,
Who missed your chance to share the rest with me while I was here.

 

 

©2008-2009 =TimLaSure

Offerings

 

I don’t offer you a glance

Not a turn of my head or eyes

In your direction, because it’s your direction.

 

I don’t offer you my opinion

Because I would waste the effort

To explain what you would not care to understand.

 

I don’t off you any thought

Because that would involve my heart

And it hides at the very thought of you.

 

I don’t offer you my time

As it has become so clear to me

That it is the only thing I really have left that is mine.

 

I don’t offer you what you expect

Because what you expect is the world

When all that is left are shadows and distortions.

 

And I offer this explanation

With no hope of your acknowledgement

Or acceptance, because it is offered for my sake

 

Not yours.

This will be my only early spring haiku. Spring calls to me now Her warm rains and subtle breeze Hey, let's watch TV

I have loved you from the first moment My eyes gazed upon your beauty. From the time my lips touched you I have felt alive, and must have you. No fire from the bowels of hell No storm raining from the heavens No obstacle will ever create distance Or take you from my thoughts Or change the way I feel about you, My love, my life, my beer. MMMMMMM

43 hours pass 12 aspirin 35 minutes of sleep 10,000 tears 1 pillow, turned over 100 times 1 bed 2 couches 2 floors 1 quilt 100 ice cubes melted in 20 glasses of water 0 phone calls 1 letter, torn apart 2 letters, left unopened 2 hands wringing with sweat 5 hard swallows 10,000 tears No relief No consolation No direction to turn A million excuses No way to stop another 10,000 tears

I look in the mirror and I see a face, But unfamiliar, different on the outside than what I’ve formed from within. Am I still here or have I been replaced? Stolen by time and robbed of truth, The truth that should hold fast and remained burned in my mind, And painted over since my youth. Do I have to accept what I now can see? Or can I close my eyes to a story of the real life I have lived, The one displayed by the outer me? Can comforts, smiles, and sentiment, Be my reality, the one I wish for, the one that I feel on the inside? Or should I yield to what my reflection has sent? In the end, who can say what is real? Beyond all opinions, above any words, and through the cloak of discretion, I am what I feel.

Pools that form from tears are the deepest and darkest. A crying voice is louder than any avalanche. The breathe behind the words, "I don't care" is more destructive than any hurricane. The weight that bows a head in forlorn could crush a mountain. Shattered dreams take more to rebuild than any city. And so the hardest puzzle to solve is why we hurt one another.

There is nothing I can do to stop the light from opening my eyes, ending my dreams and shedding light on a harsh reality. No way for me to replay them in my mind, because I know they are lost to a selfish world. Too restless to sleep and too tired to move, I lay here hoping for an end, or a beginning. The will of my body is forced to yield to the iron clamp of my dead heart. No hope, no desire, and no reason to search for either, having tried so hard for so long.

Let my body hit the floor with a sound that echoes in waves, that carry my consciousness with them until I can rest. Let the weight piled high on my shoulders settle unto another equilibrium so I can turn again and face the sun and breeze. Let my mind remember what my eyes read in all the colors reflected from things I could never reach but would always dream. Let me hear silence, dead as night, so that I can once again enjoy soft words and whispers that mean more than a thousand screams. And let it be now.

It was beautiful here today! Sunny, 70, no wind, just right! I drove past a neighbor's sheep. The new lambs were all out, playing, prancing, jumping up in the air like they were happy as could be....and all I could think of was Clarice Starling. How sick is that? "Well, Clarice - have the lambs stopped screaming?"