Vortex's blog: "Poems of a Darker Nature"

I have nothing left to lose, and nothing to gain I walk along these shadows and I will remain Enshrouded in the mystery of unhappy endings I learned long ago there's no use in pretending Fantasy fades as reality crashes into my face The truth of my circumstance putting me in my place Two paths lay before me, which should I choose I am undecided wondering what is the use One leads to darkness and one too you If you stood here I wonder what you'd do Facts and fictions bleed together for all time Right and wrong are blurred by a fading line When lies sound sweeter then the truth And you close your eyes and turn from the proof That you'll never find what you feel you deserve Longing forever for what you cannot unearth A fucking pain in the core of me, twisting the knife Something I must live with for the rest of this life I peel away this flesh that holds me to limitations I shake away the chains of love at their foundations The pity of you has only made it worse Your eyes on me is like a curse I can't stand the weight of your gaze The shame I feel you'd be amazed I can't even look at pictures of you Without reliving what we went through If I could I disappear, I'd become one with the shadows And I'd be the same outside as I am inside, hallow There's nothing left of me of any substance But my heart fights back with such resistance No matter how I try to give up on myself There's something that fights deep inside myself It could be the memories in the back of my mind Maybe it's myself that I'm trying to find The sun is shinning behind black clouds The words I whisper to myself aloud I feel imprisoned by the memories I carry Sentenced to life and the feeling is scary That I'll never overcome these things inside The love and hate within me starts to collide You get a man who's not quite a man anymore Who wonders what fate may have in store If the future plays out like the past I pray this breath will be my last

The air is thick with lies, I can't breathe Can you hear my cries, can you see What you've done to me, how I crawl My emotions are scrambled and sprawled I see you smile as I continue to squirm Your twisted pleasure as my soul burns The passion was hotter than any fire It was all a game and you still conspire Burn my skin with wax from your candle Place my exausted heart on your mantle I jump through your hoops at command Broken to pieces I have no strength to stand I find myself chained to the pillars of your bed I can feel your words crawl through my head A puppet on your strings, stringing me along Tap dancing to your sick and cruel love song Your body and mind has made me your slave The temptation of your skin hits me like a wave If I could just reach out and have a taste Every moment precious, not one to waste When it's over I feel half of what I was I can feel your finger corse through my blood The whips, the chains, the scars I've carried My heart and my will are still burried Go ahead and chip away at me and my pride Pull my insides out and make me feel denied I'd follow that ass to the pits of hell And you'd leave me there, under your spell With all the pain you have put me through I still don't know who I'd be without you Maybe when I wake up I might see Cause after all, you're nothing without me

If hell is above me, then what is below me? What is that life really has to show me? Once again you taunt me as if you know me This pain is alive and well, awlays flowing I speak of it often, at least once a day For peace and love only get in it's way I enjoy this torment as sad as it seems I plan to make nightmares, of all your dreams I've made peace with this evil bestowed apon me We are now one, once started there is no stopping Speak to me of forgiveness and I'll spit in your face Then I'll smile on you, how does that taste? Nothing you do will ever manage to erase Nothing you say will ever fill this space The void inside created by your careless disregard My heart once lively, is broken, blackened, charded I'm laughing as more victims fall before me All those who loved and once adored me Show an ounce of weakness and you'll be next If you couldn't love me, at least show me respect For what we once thought was love so true But you did what you did...and you do what you do Continue to feel for me as another stepping stone I'll be smiling as you're the one dying alone With nothing but memories of eternal regret And I'll be there, to make sure you never forget Call me your personal demon, I am your Satan I've got all of eternaty, and I don't mind wating

Seeing is believing, dying is breathing, love leaving me now. Creeping through this world of eternal disease. Nothing you say will put my soul at ease I lost my heart when you walk out that door Never will I feel for anyone anymore Death is certain for I am one who embraces The fake and abusive, who hide behind many faces Punish me, I deserve all of your hate Steal my life before it's too late Don't turn your back on me again You can run, but you will never pretend That I wasn't your greatest pleasure In which no other, will ever measure Dead inside I may seem Once again I will dream One more dance in honor of the past One more breath, and it will be your last I am selfish and I am greedy You are evil and you're needy Together we thrive like demons awakened Together we bleed both forsaken Forever isn't long enough for me to get past it I take off my mask, I know that you see past it When the curtain falls on our fragile play This world will burn in eternal dismay Our hearts will crumble from this decay Now remember the words I whispered, the words I say Call to your savior, pray he comes Call to your maker, pray he runs For our end is near, the dawn is dead Don't be afraid of that voice in the back of your head

Listen to the rain falling once again Watch as the drops wash away my sin The day brings another journey yet to begin Without hope some say the answers lay within As all of these promises slowly turn into lies All of these people suffer, I can feel their eyes Burning holes through my skin, I can hear their cries With the beginning of each new life, another dies The enemy, my maker, both with agendas of their own To watch me rot or prosper, with guidance or alone I find strength, deep within emotions I've never known For love or hate, within me, they have both grown Who do I turn to when the sky melts into space When its just you and I, when we're face to face With all of these memories we'll never erase The bitter and crude will be all we'll ever taste I hate you, I love you, forever will they be the same Longer than eternity, as long as I whisper your name Play with me one more time, how I hunger for your game You've captured my heart, this wild beast you did tame The end is closer then we care to guess This damned life is full of undue stress Life is just a series of final tests We strive at least, to do our best In the end who will be left You and I, both could be next Perhaps its easier just to forget And simply die without regret

Another day, another year, both flow seemless No direction, no drive, ever dreamless Distance ourselves from open ended emotions Question our morals and our very devotions What is the purpose to which we awake What is this love we seem to forsake Every day bringing another mistake Every one makes the soul ache No matter how much we grow How much love we try to show We always end up here, all alone Longing for what is now, forever unknown The future, a streaming flow of blackend sky The past, another regret, another moment to wonder why

They say the eyes never lie, so then tell me what you see? Faced with regret, would you refuse you're destiny? There's a time and a place to embrace our fears Squeeze my eyes shut to silence the tears The impact of disapointment shaking our foundation Just the price to be paid for giving into temptaion Look deeper into these eyes so blue Look deeper until these lies become true Under my skin I can feel your touch Sometimes the sensation becomes too much Becoming a monster with every breath Giving my heart until there's nothing left Another bottle falls empty to the floor Now another lock bolted onto my door The entrance is barred, impossible to open The hinges are rusted, but far from broken My eyes are windows into a tattered soul Empty from memories, it's been swallowed whole The past is the past, we'll never get it back The future creeps closer, ever ready to attack Faced with all this guilt, when no one is right It seems both our hearts will vanish into the night.