Lowcountry Chameleon's blog: "What do you do?"

I got into a discussion today with my sister. She feels I should move on in my life. That I deserve a chance to be happy. She thinks I am just hanging on to someone who in a way was never really mine in the first place. That's not exactly true...he was mine for awhile and then we became more friends (FWB) then BF/GF. I accepted what he was willing to give me because I was just so crazy about him. I have had boyfriends...plenty of them in my 44 years on this earth...but I can honestly say none of them have ever treated me better than he did. Why wouldn't I want to hang on to someone that great. Sure, he wasn't perfect. He made mistakes. But his mistakes were nothing compared to my exes. His mistakes didn't involve police reports or hospital visits. He rarely drank, didn't do drugs, held a job, and took good care of me. He inspired me to be a better person and I can honestly say that in the 2 plus years that I spent with him I grew up A LOT. It's really hard to move on from someone who did so much for me. I feel like letting go is giving up, it's failing. What am I failing at? I'm not exactly sure but it just doesn't feel right. I know the time will come when I have to take a step away but I have to make that step when it feels right to me. I think deep down inside I will know when to let go. For now, I have to do things my own way. I just hope that my family and my friends can respect that and realize that I really do know what is best for me.