The following is from a colleague in Britain:
-----Original Message-----
From: Edwin Panford-Quainoo [mailto:djspecialedd@msn.com]
Sent: Mon Nov 28 20:06:32 2005
To: Wiley, James
Subject: Good Answer!!!!
>> >>
>> >> Apparently going around NY at the moment. 1st is a girl's apology
>> >> email
>> >>> >for cheating on some bloke. 2nd is his reply which was Bcc'd to his
>> >>> >entire address book.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> > ----------------------------------
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Brad,
>> >>> >
>> >>> >It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now,
>> >>> I feel
>> >>> >like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
>> >>> >truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the
>> >>> people
>> >>> >in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I
>> >>> >would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all or
>> >>> >anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all
>> >>> of us
>> >>> >had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle
>> >>> you
>> >>> >being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle
>> >>> the ugly
>> >>> >words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is
>> >>> thinking
>> >>> >that you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I
>> >>> just
>> >>> >went through a horrible break up or something. The world looked
>> >>> funny
>> >>> >yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are
>> >>> songs I
>> >>> >an't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed. I don't know if you
>> >>> >meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I
>> >>> >know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that
>> >>> this is
>> >>> >something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and
>> >>> >stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my
>> >>> life, I
>> >>> >can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and
>> >>> weird to
>> >>> >say that, and you could say that my behaviour didn't reflect
>> >>> that, and
>> >>> >you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate
>> >>> >feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
>> >>> because
>> >>> >I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what
>> >>> >happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was
>> >>> just
>> >>> >about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up
>> >>> there
>> >>> >with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give
>> >>> anything in
>> >>> >the world to rewind and fix it.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that
>> >>> you
>> >>> >won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for
>> >>> >getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are
>> >>> still at
>> >>> >your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that
>> >>> would be
>> >>> >great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously
>> >>> feel
>> >>> >like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that
>> >>> it was
>> >>> >not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I
>> >>> >really don't think I can handle that.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >I am so
>> >>> >sorry.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Elizabeth
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >RESPONSE:
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Dear Elizabeth,
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Thank you
>> >>> >for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for
>> >>> >"Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less
>> >>> about".
>> >>> >
>> >>> >You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and
>> >>> forgetting to
>> >>> >carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a
>> >>> load of
>> >>> >whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for
>> >>> >45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long
>> >>> >because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid
>> >>> >thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social
>> >>> calendar.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
>> >>> >degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
>> >>> >span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't
>> >>> F**k him"
>> >>> >somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care
>> >>> less
>> >>> >if the world "looked funny"
>> >>> >to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers,
>> >>> golden
>> >>> >retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have
>> >>> been most
>> >>> >unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings
>> >>> for 24
>> >>> >hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't
>> >>> think >you're a terrible person, they just think you're the
>> >>> average run of the >mill c*m-guzzling blond who commands about as
>> >>> much respect as your
>> >>> >average child p0rn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty
>> >>> hard >to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night
>> >>> at my place
>> >>> >even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up
>> >>> >tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of
>>droning
>> >>> >commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up
>> >>> with for
>> >>> >a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is
>> >>> that
>> >>> >when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you
>> >>> on top
>> >>> >of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our
>> >>> >heads off about the time it happened.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin
>> >>> class you
>> >>> >really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
>>you
>> >>> >do.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like
>> >>> >watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Talk to you never,
>> >>> >
>> >>> >Brad
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>> >
>> >>>
>> >>> J.M. Finn & Co.
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>> >>> at the
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