50SHADESofGREG aka fuBARTNDER's blog: "Todays Comment by: Yours Truly"

created on 10/14/2007 | http://fubar.com/todays-comment-by-yours-truly/b141247

posted on 12/16/2007&nbs-08:00;@&nbs-08:00;04:12&nbs-08:00;pm

No Friday Comment
http://fubar.com/no-friday-comment/b141247-647011

Its a dark day in my household So I'll be sparse in my fu-time. I lost my ex-mother-in-law early this morning. Many might think that shouldn't effect me, But my heart lays heavy and I'm deeply sadden. Winifred was a tough as nails New Yorker, who I had the utmost respect. She was legally blind from an early age, although she wasn't totally blind - Being she was functional as a sighted person . . . It never took away from her ability of "seeing" people for there strengths and not their weaknesses. My two oldest lost another grandparent, Which leaves them with only one now. (my mother) As my oldest daughter called me to inform me - Brought a flash of painful memories: About nine years ago, I was at the hospital . . . Comforting my mother, who's husband, my stepfather & true mentor . . . was slipping away from cancer that night. Beside me were my two loving kids who adored their grandpa and were truly devastated with the grief of the assured death looming - But also of seeing their Grandmother and Father . . . so torn! As death is known to be unpredictable . . . I remember just as the hospice nurse was taking my mother into the room so she could tell her dying husband good-bye ... I was a bit puzzled to see my ex-wife and her husband come into the room with a grieving look of concern. Although my thoughts were clouded from the events - Things cleared and slowed down as my children went to their mother already crying ... As she hugged them for comfort. I remember her sigh and then glance up at me, tearful and swallowing hard... As if in slow motion I watched her lips form the sentence: "You Grandpa DUKE just died" My knees buckled And my heart crashed ... My kids while awaiting their grandfather to die (my stepfather) Just were informed of their other Grandfather dying! (her father) Truly the single most devastating day for me. I watched it unfold, still as though in slow motion . . . both just collapse and breakdown ... My ex - crying her husband - holding the three for comfort. Truly was like an out-of-body experience, like I was watching from the corner of the room . . . I had so many grievers plus my own pain - All pulling at me from every direction. *whew* Sorry- This was more for my own self-healing. So - I wont be giving my daily comments. I leave you a few of my gifts I made, Gifts are a way of telling people you like them, enjoy their company or love them. Or that you enjoy them being a part of your life and you are happy to share - Not the shiny thing that may be wrapped up in a pretty box with a bow . . . But sharing TIME, Sharing a part of life. I reflect back, as I wrote this - to the single most important thing . . . -Our life itself- Hug those people who you love today . . . I'm sending hugs out to you all.