< rant >
I get mad at myself for things
you know the old:
"I'm my own worst critic!"
Because I allow my true feeling to surface ...
and then - I reflected on them
Which I feel guilty about having them?
I'm unsure what's more of a disservice to myself:
To feel true emotions then to act on them,
only to second guess my own motives for acting on them ...
To bridal a feeling or a want ...
(thinking of the end result)
And then sit back and wonder:
< /rant >
I don't know ...
Lately I've been more and more pissed at others than myself -
So I guess that's not as self defeating (???)
I did wonder since I brought up
'Holding back on feelings'...
Am I wrong to feel a bit slighted by a few of my contest winners?
My close friends (who also happen to win a few of my giveaways) ...
did what I knew they would:
Just say 'Thanks'
And a few people I don't know as well,
Did the proper thing by thanking me?
Now to what's bugging me ...
I give someone 500,000 fuBUCKs
And I didn't even hear back from them?
(there were a few others who got gift and didn't bother to say it either)
So - My true feelings: Unappreciated
So I ask you ...
Am I being selfish to expect a thank you?
I -KNOW- the true meaning of integrity:
"To give without expecting anything in return"
And I really didn't expect much but a 'thanks'
So I will -NOW- officially stop my rant
(I know I ended it above)
I ask anyone who's willing to give an honest opinion:
Am I wrong for feeling like that?