Krissi's blog: "New To Fubar"

           Sometimes, things happen in life which challenge our faith in God but we have to always remember when one door is closed, another opens...Between the bills this year including outrageous heating oil costs, electric, car repairs not to mention feeding four sons- there just wasn't much left over for Christmas- and to mention their father is months and months behind on child support. I prayed on this matter but I must admit I have been crying every night just thinking my boys wouldn't have much if anything for Christmas ..Knowing how excited they are for Christmas each year, especially my 9 yr old autistic son Christopher I knew I had to do something...In the newspaper one morning there was written in a small article where a local agency was giving away 1 prize of $500.00 worth of gift cards to the family they felt was most needing assistance for this  holiday season ..I wrote a 500 word essay explaining our particular situation and I was shocked when they called and let me know that they chose MY essay and wanted me to come up and pick up the gift certificates yesterday..I have been praying for God's help this year because I exhausted all my resources and He came through.. Last night, I went to Toys R Us, the mall and several other places and I am sure my boys will be smiling Christmas day....Also, my children's grief counselor and a social worker who works with my family gave the boys bikes and other toys today and this morning I had to go to my youngest son's school to pick up toys, blankets and clothes they wanted the kids to have....wow..that is so much more than I even could imagine...I don't know what to say but a Christmas I almost given up on, is going to be a beautiful one...I am going to make a homemade dinner, cookies, it's going to be nice....Thank God.

I didn't mean to worry anyone by my absence but I have been quite busy around here with the holidays....Well, I was very sick for about a month with a sinus infection/ broncitis- my lungs felt like iron in my chest lol...I was on a breathing treatment and medications and STILL felt like shit...I still am a bit congested but MUCH better....Thank God  it didn't turn into pnumonia ....I had a tooth removed which was a battle because it broke off and the dentist couldn't get it out without tearing my mouth apart...ugh...I felt EVERYTHING even with as many times as the dentist numbed me...I was feeling that for awhile....My kids have been keeping me busy ..having a teenager is NO FUN..lol..I kinda' knew it was gonna be a rollarcoaster of emotions..I have been married one year as of December 16th so wish me luck for 50 more years, atleast.....hugs to everyone who missed me and those who didn't can kiss my ass! hehehehehehe..

   Being a part sure is the toughest job on earth..My oldest son, Robert, who is 14 yrs old has been having alot of difficulties in school and at home..I don't mean he is violent or in trouble with the law, just very distant, doing poorly in school and talking back..I have tried everything to get through to him and nothing works ..until tonite...He broke down into tears tonite and told me that he hasn't been doing well because he is scared to trust anyone anymore since my boyfriend Ron (his stepfather) passed away in 2006...they were very close, almost like best friends...Ron was the first person, other than me, that my son opened up to...I wish his real father was someone he could look up to ..but let's face it..........he's a lost cause (long long story)...My new husband, Shawn, has opened his heart to my sons and especially Robert but it's not easy....now that Robert is a teen....He is scared that if he lets another man into his life as a father he will die...and quote "where will I be then"?...I did my very best to explain to my son that life "must" go on...no matter how difficult it is..we all have to let go...When Ron died I felt like my whole world crumbled and that he left me..but he's still with me in spirit....and I am a much stronger person than I ever was...I wish I could, however, erase all the pain my son feels right now...Seeing him cry just breaks my heart in two...right now he is sleeping like a baby- snoring like he usually does (lol)...i just sat beside him and remembered how he looked when he was a baby, not much different, just all grown up now....I pray God will give him the strength to learn to love and trust....

     Been doing alot of fishing lately with my husband and I have found it to be the one true way I can release all my stress (well, sex works wonders for that too lol)...So far this year I caught a 5 pound trout and a 15 pound carp...yeah, it was interesting pulling that carp in- he had more fight in him than most men ..hehehehe...the weather has been crappy this past week with all the rain but I have managed to get some fishing in....it's been nice...

What Is Tiramisu?
Craig Miyamoto

Tiramisu is a cool, refreshing Italian dessert that once tasted,
leaves an indelible impression on you.

Also known as "Tuscan Trifle," the dessert was initially created in Siena, in the northwestern Italian province of Tuscany. The occasion was a visit by Grand Duke Cosimo de'Medici III, in whose honor the concoction was dubbed zuppa del duca (the "duke's soup"). The erstwhile duke brought the dessert back with him to Florence. In the 19th Century, zuppa del duca became popular among the English intellectuals and artists who lived there Consequently, it is also known as zuppa Inglese. They took the dessert to England, where its popularity grew. Zuppa del duca eventually made its way to Treviso, just northwest of Venice, in the northeastern province of Veneto. Treviso is best know for its canals, frescoes and . . . Tiramisu.

Stories are told about how Tiramisu was the favorite of Venice's courtesans, who needed a "pick me up" (the literal translation of "tirami-su") to fortify themselves between their amorous encounters. True? Probably not. But it makes for a colorful history. Its American popularity arose in San Francisco, and today, Tiramisu can be found in restaurants throughout the nation.

The original recipe called for custard and only recently has Mascarpone cheese been substituted. The basic ingredients are eggs, mascarpone cheese, ladyfingers, cream, espresso coffee, liquor -- brandy, marsala, rum are some of the spirits used -- a little bit of sugar, and cocoa or shaved chocolate.

Mascarpone is a triple-creme cheese. It's made from the milk of cows that have been fed special grasses filled with herbs and flowers. This special diet creates a unique taste that has been described as "fresh and delicious." Ladyfingers -- known in Italy as "savoiardi" -- are sweet, little, fairly dry, finger-shaped sponge cakes.

But that description just doesn't do it justice. I'll have to describe it for you in more graphic terms. Let's see now . . . for those of you who've never had it before, how would I describe it?

Well, first of all, think of a very light chocolate pudding. Very light. No, you've got to think lighter than that. Think more in the lines of mocha-flavored whipped cream.

Now add in a little bit of body. Not heaviness, but substance -- you know, the kind of fullness that rich foods feel like in your mouth. Except that it doesn't taste rich, and it doesn't stay in your mouth long enough to become cloying. It tastes, well, dreamy.

Then, imagine this very light almost-like-mocha-flavored-whipped-cream concoction on lady finger pastry soaked (no, more like "kissed") with strong espresso coffee. Got that? Light, creamy, smooth lady fingers, the rich aroma of strong coffee?

Okay, now add in just a slight bite on the tongue, and tantalizing hint of the liquor. Suddenly, you get a teeny explosion of chocolate on your tongue that disappears in a flash. Got all that? Good.

Now finally, imagine that you're dressed in gossamer. You have delicate white wings and are sitting on a fluffy cloud. You are experiencing the greatest dessert ecstacy of your life. You are in Heaven, and Heaven is in your mouth.

THAT'S Tiramisu !

Words of a submissive...

I am a submissive woman. I find pleasure, joy, and fulfillment from being submissive/slave to another in a loving relationship. I am not weak, or stupid. I am a strong woman, with firm views and a clear concept of what I want out of my life. I do not serve out of shame or weakness, but out of pride and strength.

I look to my loving Master for guidance and protection, for never am I more complete than when he is with me. I know that he will protect my body, my mind, and my soul with his strength and wisdom. He is everything to me, as I am everything to him. His touch awakens me and his thoughts free me. Only in serving him do I find complete freedom and joy.

His punishments are harsh, but I accept them thankfully, knowing that he has my bests interests always foremost in his mind. If he desires my body for pleasure, I shall joyfully give it to him, and take pleasure myself from knowing that I have brought him happiness. However, the pleasure of the flesh is but one facet of any relationship. The love, the trust and sharing, the words spoken and felt, those are all parts of this relationship.

My body is his, and if he says I am beautiful, then I am. No matter what I look like to others, I am beautiful in his eyes, and because of that I hold my head high...for who can tell me that my Master is wrong in seeing the beauty in me? If he says I am his princess, then I am that...regal and graceful, and if I see laughter at me in the eyes of others, I do not recognize it, for who are they to call my Master wrong? If he says I am his toy, his slut, his tramp, then I am that...as wanton and dirty as he wants me to be, and if others do not see this, then it is they who are blind, not my Master.

My mind is his, to expand, to explore, to know as only he can. I have no secrets from him...for secrets are a thing that would keep me from being more perfectly his. Secrets would put a wall up between my Master and myself...and I do not want walls. His lessons are not always ones I would seek on my own, but they are lessons he has decided I need, and so I learn from him.

My soul is his, as bare to his touch as ever my skin could be when I kneel naked at his feet. Never a moment goes by when I do not feel his presence, be he miles away or standing over me. If I were to ever displease him, his displeasure would be a blow to my soul, worse punishment than any lashes could be. The anguish of my soul that I feel when I disappoint him is harder to bear than the physical anguish I feel when his belt caresses me with fire.

I spend my days knowing that the energy and thought he puts into our relationship is as much for my benefit as for his, and look forward to each lovingly crafted scene that we do together. His part is much harder than mine, and I know this and am grateful that he cares enough about me to spend his time and energy so freely on me. I have the easier job: to feel, to experience, to let myself go and abandon everything to him. I am his pleasure and his responsibility, and he takes both seriously.

I am a submissive woman. I am proud to call myself that. My submission is a gift that I do not give lightly, and can only be given to one who can appreciate that gift and return it tenfold. Only to he who has that strength will I give myself fully, because I am strong and proud. I am a submissive woman.