It is 11pm and my children are all in bed..awaiting Christmas morning...Me and my oldest son spent some quality time together..I never knew how a child could offer you comfort...Even though I am happily married to the most wonderful man in the world..my heart still aches for Ron- my boyfriend who passed away over 2 years ago now...My oldest son has more memories of him than the other boys and I know he misses him too..I took time to remember him tonite with my son- lit a white candle in his memory next to his pictures...he will never be forgotten..he was a wonderful man who filled my heart with such joy and taught me how to love again..I believe, if it weren't for him, I would have never met Shawn because Ron taught me that I was worthy of love...we put a Jeff Gordon stocking on the Christmas tree in Ron's memory as well this year...they say time heals all wounds...I believe time does to some extent...and is it better to have loved and lost? I am not sure..I don't know what kind of person I would have been if Ron didn't enter my world....I think it is better to have loved and lost....
Shawn is working tonite and will be home early tomorrow morning for Christmas...I can't wait to see him, I miss him already lol...I have alot to be thankful for this year- four beautiful sons and a wonderful husband..
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