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I have always naturally been silly, and known to have a stash of 'smart-assed' remarks. And also a bad case of foot-in-mouth disease. hahaha Seeing people smile and hearing them laugh has always brought a bit of joy to a dreary day. Tho there are times when simple laughter could set me into a rage of anger or tears. As life goes on, I have realized this has gotten worse. And is accompanied by memory loss, along with a few other symptoms that raised some flags. So I have taken the steps I needed to, and sought medical help. There are medications to take, and Therapists to see. Along with a Psychiatrist who is really an awesome person. He takes the time to explain things to me in simple terms so that I can fully understand what is going on. I have been seeing him for about a year now and he has helped me to understand alot about my Illnesses.
Photobucket The medications so far dont work very well. I have been on several in the last 5 years, with many different outcomes, each having it's own different side effect. I am now only taking 2 medications, (Celexa and Valium) for my 'psychotic episodes' as I call them. And even sometimes the valium doesn't do when I have an anger explosion, because it is not fast acting. The faster acting pill makes me feel hungover, so I dont take them anymore. Basically there is nothing much I can do but bare with things as best I can, and avoid stressful situations. I am not supposed to drive, I can't tolerate being in crowded public places such as WalMart or the grocery store, etc... So I try to go during the off hours for crowds. I have had the police called on me many times, for throwing things around, cussin folks for having gossip meetings in the isles. And I am likely to have them called again. I have some pretty bad episodes too. And lots of different things trigger them.
Photobucket So what illnesses do I have? E.A.D. (explosive anger disorder-the medical facts for this is in my 'Would you like to know more about Meee' blog) I also have Obsessive compulsive disorder, severe anxiety disorder, major depression, and am on the verge of being bi-polar. I have tried anger management, but it dont help when you dont know what causes your anger. In the end my friends, if I seem pissy, it is likely something that has been stewing in my mind for so long it has started to boil. hahaha Please dont take any offense to my moods (I have many, and will set my status accordingly). Or I will simply take a break for a while.
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Meet My Family

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Photobucket Meee, of course. Your Resident Nutt! I would like for you to meet my family. (Real Life family) They are wonderful people, and I love them dearly. But just as we all do, they have faults too. Some of which you will find out if you read my blogs. And as with any family... there are things better left 'unsaid'.
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Photobucket This is my little darlin, Miss Tubbies, she will be 2 years old in May. My mom brought her home to me when she was a week old. She was so tiny I could hold her in the palm of my hand. I was afraid I would hurt her. Her mother stopped feeding her and 4 others. She was the only survivor. I really enjoyed taking care of her, and actually feeding her with my fingers. She wouldnt have anything to do with a bottle or dropper of anykind. We have a wonderful bond. And now she minds better than any of the kids I know. I don't know what kind of mix she is, and don't care. I love her and she knows it. You can see how spoiled she is. hehehe
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Photobucket My mom, Mary. The head of our small family of Lunatics... She is 63 years old, works a full time job 6 days a week, and sits with an elderly lady every other night. She does all she can to help any and all of us,(there are 4 households including hers) She makes sure everyone has the necessities, and the kids all have plenty to eat. She does wayyy more than she should have to. Sometimes she helps too much I think. But you can't tell her that. Mom can put down some Miller Lites!!! And has for as long as I can remember. Lookout Miller time, hahaha. I laugh now, but when she gets drunk around bout 9 or 10 at night, (nights she is at home) she will take turns calling Meee, and my sister Dontcha. Multiple times hahaha. Sometimes I can't take it, but I at least act like I am listening. My sister is guilty of the same. Mary is still the 'Head' of our family~~>all 4 households. lol
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Photobucket My daughter, Brandi and her husband, Chad. (see bottom 2 photos, and check out what they do best) hahaha Sleep, but if they are not sleeping they are fighting. I had Brandi when I was 16, and we grew up together. I didn't try to pawn her off on my mom either. I raised her and took care of her myself. When I went out I paid a babysitter. She was my responsibilty. I think I was/am, a pretty cool mother. I spoiled her of course, She was in Cheerleading, and on girls basketball and softball teams. And I tried my best to keep her in the latest fashions. Wow... some of which were out of my budget in price, but she saved and helped to buy a few pair of jeans. I sit and wonder now... *What happened? Now she cant save money at all. But I still try to help her with things she needs. Her and Chad have been married for 9 years now. He was a carsalesman when they met, at a Cadillac dealership in Memphis. Now at this time he is unemployed and looking for work. Hopefully he will find work soon. I know how hard it is. I have 3 grandchildren, and one on the way. Supposedly due on my birthday, June 9th.
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Photobucket Dylan, my first grandchild/son. I love all of my grandkids, but Dylan is very special to me. We bonded when he was born, and he has been the beat of my heart since. I love him very much, and miss him immensly. He lives with his dad, Jason,in another town. And Brandi and Jason don't get along at all. I haven't seen him in almost a year now, but I get to talk to him on the phone. Jason and I are trying to get together on him bringing Dylan to visit me for a few hours. But he works for the Environmental Protection Agency, and it is hard to do. Maybe someday soon. I hope so anyway. Dylan just turned 11 January 19th.
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Photobucket Taylor, my first granddaughter. Spoiled to the core! And I didn't do it. I missed her baby years, and didn't get to know her til she was about 5 yrs old. She is just like her mother... Boy did Brandi bend over and have her scooped out with an ice cream scoop, or what? Taylor turned 8 on January 22nd, and can manipulate, and con like a pro. I have recently grounded her from coming to spend the night at my house. She likes to do things she knows better than to do, ex. skate in the house, bounce and throw balls, run in the house. And my favorite thing to hate... Run in and out the damn door. I can't stand that. Now this is Lil Miss Grown up here too. She thinks she knows it all. hahaha but I have sad news for her, she dont know anything yet.
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Photobucket Cloie Paige... aka The Boss Cloie was 1 year old October 4th, 2007. This one bonded with Dontcha. She is Nee Nee's baby all the way. But she always has a big ole happy smile and some love for mamaw Linda. She loves to show out. Loves it when she has all the attention. She is gonna be a lil asshat too. Acting up and dancing are her favorite things to do. Ever since she took her first step, she has been stepping on.
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Photobucket My sister and best friend, Dee. Some of you know her as 'Dontcha' on here. Hopefully she will get her internet back on soon. And I am hoping maybe she wont clobber me for some of the pics I have added to my albums. Hehehe She is crazy, full of laughter,and jokes. Loves to get one over on someone. Plus she has the biggest heart,that is overflowing with love for any and everyone. But don't piss her off!!! Cause she will rip your head off and shit down your neck without hesitation. Dee has 2 children,
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Photobucket Her son, Zac. He will be 16 in March, does pretty good in school. Is in R.O.T.C. for his 3rd year, and has made Corpral this year, first simester. We are all proud of him for this accomplishment. He is very computer literate, and loves learning to do new things with computers. He has made skins for websites, he likes to make graphics too. He has built a small website and has some of his work on it. I was an OTR Truck Driver when he was born, but I was here for that day. And I spoiled him rotten. He called me 'Big Truck' til he was 4 or so. His homelife... hahahaha roflmao!!! He is a big Clown, and loves to cut up. He will have everyone in the house wiping tears he is such an asshat!
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Photobucket Her daughter, Chandler. Chan is 10 years old, she also does pretty good in school. She loves fixing/doing hair and nails. And does quite good at it too. Also she never stops talking, so I am led to believe she may be a hairdresser or manicurist when she grows up. lol She hangs out within hearing range of her mother, but has selective hearing. She's like any other child now that you can't whip their asses like we got... Knows more than they should.
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket So...This my family, Lovingly dubbed "The Crazy Bunch" (for a reason) Keep your eyes open for their silly antics and even total asshat stupidity, in future blogs.
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Collecting Myself

Photobucket There are times when I may not be on here for days at a time, maybe a week. (sometimes longer) During this time I am "Collecting Myself". And sometimes there is quite a bit to collect. Sometimes I just get so totally lost, I just sit here and stare into... Space, The Abyss maybe. Who knows where I really am during these times.
Photobucket Just thinkin' trying to sort out what life has dealt to me at the time. Also during this 'Self Collection' time I like to write. It helps me to keep track of myself. So I thought I would try to share part of 'My Life Outside the Box', with my friends here in my blogs. Until now I have basically posted blogs to save things, or ones that dont mean much to anyone but myself. So I am going to give this a try and see where it goes.
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*I reserve the right to post incoherrant mumblings at any time.*
Said mumblings are due to a blank memory, which could be caused by any number of things that are, or have been, going on in my life. Or to the fact that I have just closed the door to my brain so my head wont hurt! lol :) I have so many things going on in my life right now, that at times I want to block the whole world out. Sometimes I do try... I don't open my doors or shades. And I stay cooped up in my house for a couple days or so. My computer is my escape from reality. It helps me to accomplish many things every day. Until Reality finds its way back in somehow, and the phone rings. And when it rings... it usually pours. If the computer could somehow manage all my stress, I would let it deal with lifes bowl of cherries, that have been hurled at me. But it would probably crash. hahahaha
Photobucket After such a call, self collection process usually begins again.
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