Shelly's blog: "My health"

Not good at venting but here it goes.... Ok... so due to losing the Enamal & Calicum from my teeth due to lots of problems (not counting lots of meds I take which doesn't help) etc. My teeth have been breaking apart & the fillings are popping out. Which has me in pain everyday and hurts to eat just about anything (the upside: I lose weight). I'm not a fan of the dentist & to be honest, I'm a big baby to the pain. Just going to the dentist for a routine check-up & cleaning freaks me out and is very painful for me. After so long of putting it off due to being scared and nervous, I decided to finally make an appointment & go to the dentist, plus face my fear. So my appointment for dental surgery was scheduled (1pm in the afternoon...geesh!) & I'm told not to eat or drink anything after midnight the night before coming in. So I go to this new dentist yesterday to get all of my bottom teeth removed, and was surprised how compassionate the dentist & his staff was. This of course made me feel comfortable and relaxed more. After I got prepped and ready I started to feel a little funny and even more relaxed but was able to stay awake for the procedure. The procedure didn't take that long as I thought it would be & was over before I knew it. The staff explained all the after care instructions to me & my husband & I was ready to go home for rest (before kids come back from sitter's). Right before walking out the door my husband of course couldn't resist asking the nurse a dirty minded question w/o it being dirty. He asked her.."How long would it be before I can use a straw?"..lol. Now back home and trying to rest w/ 4 kids, who of course got to come ask me everything instead of going to dad knowing I can't really talk & in pain. So my 1st 10hrs after surgery was literally hard untill the kids went to bed, then I got some peace for awhile before crashing myself. ~~Shelly~~

04/22/08 I've been to the sleep study and have been told that I in fact do have sleep apnea. The doctor told me that I stop breathing more than 6 times during the night. I didn't know or realize but when I heard that, it freaked me out. So as of this morning I just got this new breathing machine (supposed to help me when I sleep at night). I'm not looking forward to something being on my face while I sleep, but if it's gonna help me then I try it. Since I normally toss and turn all night due to losing circulation in my arms & legs, I'm also hoping this machine will help that area of trouble too. I'm looking forward to being able to sleep better through out the night, and wake up feeling fresh w/ energy too.

I went to the eye doctor last week for a check up and get told some bad news. I was only wearing a contact for my right eye, but during the check up the doctor told me that my eye disease is now affecting my left eye. So now I have to wear contacts in both eyes.

Getting checked for cancer (Biopsy of the Uterus) I went to the doctor a couple of days ago and they want to do a biopsy of my uterus to check me for cancer. The doctor said she can do this procedure in her office and I’ll experience some cramping during & afterwards. She also told me that the procedure only takes about 5-15 minutes to do. The doctor made this sound so easy and simple like it was no big deal, but it’s a big deal for me as I’m scared etc. There is a history of breast cancer in my family, but I’m the 1st to go through this and really have no one to talk to. I’m worried that I may have cancer and pray very hard that I don’t as I’m not ready to leave this world yet. I’ve been high risk for awhile due to my health and was worried enough, but now even more worried as I have to go in for this procedure. I’m asking all my friends to please pray for me so I can still be here for my kids & my husband as they need me. Thanks, Shelly

Wheelchair Bound 12/2/2007 Ok, so I have a bulging disc in my low back tailbone area & a bad case of arthritis. I’m not able to stand on my feet more than 5 min, or walk w/o being in a great deal of pain & feeling the need to sit. I have to rely on my husband and children to do the daily house chores, cooking, etc. It’s bad enough that I have many other health problems. But not being able to stand or walk, and not being able to do things I need or want to do, just pisses me off. I hate that I have to rely on someone else for stuff when I rather do it myself, then I know it’s done & done right (or at least to my satisfaction). I also get angry because I feel I’ve lost my independence and freedom. The fucking saddest part of all is that I can’t enjoy things w/ my kids like I used to. I miss walking w/ them on trick or treat night, going to any & all school functions, or riding a bike w/ them around the block, etc. Because of missing out w/ my kids, I finally gave up and decided to ask my doctor about getting a wheelchair. I fight w/ my insurance company and Wal-mart for about 4-5 months to get the chair and wasn’t getting anywhere. Then recently I get told that I needed to pick a HMO health plan & will no longer receive Medicaid. So I pick another insurance company and guess what… I have to start all over w/ the paperwork, etc for my chair. While my medical insurance was being switched and not knowing if I was ever going to get the chair, I ran into a yard sale w/ a gentleman who happen to be selling one for $500 dollars. Since I’m on a limited income living off of Soc. Security, the gentleman was nice enough to work out a payment plan w/ me. So I gave the gentleman a down payment & agreed to pay the rest in full by the pick up date, plus agreed that the down payment was non-refundable. I just received my chair a few days ago and now fighting to get a ramp built so I can get in and out of my house. So once again I’m feeling trapped and have lost my freedom & independence. My landlady says it’s ok to have a ramp built, but she won’t pay for it. With my limited income and raising 4 children, there’s no possible way I can afford to do so. I don’t & can’t really afford to move right now due to money, kids, location, appointments, school, etc. I feel like there is more doors closing then opening, which makes me angry, and even depressed. I try to stay positive and thankful that at least one problem has been resolved and that was getting the chair.

Date: 07/19/07 My health is getting a lot worse and I have been very, very depressed. I'm currently seeing a OB/GYN doctor now & have been told that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and I'm at risk for Uterus Cancer. This is the reason why I'm gaining so much weight ( despite diet & excercise efforts ), having irregular periods, facial & body hair growth, insulin resistance and much more. The doctor had did a pelvic exam on me in her office & is running a lot of tests on me. She gave me some medicine that should help regulate my periods & help w/ the facial & body hair growth. She ordered for me to get blood work & a ultrasound done (which has been done already earlier this week). I won't know the results of these tests un-till I go back for my next appointment (08/13) or unless they call me. The doctor wants to also do a biopsy and maybe more. I have also seen my family doctor just recently this week & I had explained everything to him so he can be on the same page w/ the OB/GYN doctor. I've expressed how my weight effects my everyday living, how much pain I'm in everyday w/ my back, and how this all affects my moods. He is also doing some testing w/ me & had did some blood work while I was in his office. Yesterday I got a call back from the family doctor w/ the results showing that my Tyroid level was too low & he had to call the pharmacy to up the dose. I've also expressed how I felt about losing my independence cause I can't take care of myself w/ personal hygiene or clean my house w/o being in extreme pain, plus I'm not able to spend time w/ my kids like I used to which really depresses me so much. The doctor & I also talked about the possibility of having weight loss surgery done where they use a band or something around my stomach. I’m up for trying anything cause this weight is literally killing me. I do have a bath chair to help w/ getting a shower but I still have to fight w/ myself because I still go through a struggle & have pain. I did ask my family doctor for a power wheelchair just so I can get my independence back & be able to get out of the house. For this I went to walmart & got the paperwork started. I just have to wait on medicaid to call me to setup a appointment for a evaluation of my house etc. The entire process can take up to 3 months before receiving the power chair. I may have to get a ramp built at one of my doors for the power chair to get in/out of the house. For this I’m not sure how to approach my landlady or know if she will be willing to do something like this as I can’t afford to do it. The doctor had also discussed w/ me that he feels I have Sleep Apnea and is sending me to anouther doctor for that. I have to depend on my husband & kids all the time for that isn’t fair for them. My kids should be able to stay a kids w/ playing and having fun. They shouldn’t have to have so much responsibilities on them. All I can do is sit 24-7 which is not helping my health or anything else. Because I have to depend on everyone else to get things done, it doesn’t get done when it needs it or not done right. Before having to depend on everyone like this, my house was always clean and organized. I prefer to do things myself as then I would know things would get done and done right. I've always been little overweight since I was a baby & growing up but NEVER been overweight like I am now. I feel so huge like one of them 500-800 lbs people even though I’m not. I hate even looking at myself in the mirror now and have no passion to wear makeup or do my hair anymore. All of this is the main reason why I feel suicidal a lot and feel like giving up. Shelly Jones

I went to the doctor yesterday and found out I may have uterus cancer. I'm so upset and scared, plus very very worried. I got to go in and get blood work done, and get a ultrasound. My doctor also wants to do a biopsy and I don't know anything about that. Will it hurt? Will I be awake or asleep? Is it like surgery? I have so many questions. Anouther reason I'm worried and scared is because cancer runs in my family. My mom had cervix cancer long time ago and lucky for her they caught it in the 0-1 stage. My grandma & my aunt are both breast cancer surviviors. I'm so upset cause I can't believe this is happing to me right now when my life is going good. My husband and I are getting closer each day as we have just overcomed his drug addiction and the domestic violence that was between us during that time as well. He has been clean and sober for almost 3yrs now. My kids are in counseling and doing really good overcoming the past problems w/ dad. My oldest daughter is in cheerleading which has practice 3x a week and goes to competitons. My youngest son is just starting football practice this month. I'm going back to school and earning my high school diploma to better myself plus show my kids how important it is to stay in school. I have dreams and goals after I graduate. Anyhow my point is that I have so much good things going on and our life is really turning around. I don't understand why this has to happen now. I want to live and see all four of my kids graduate from school, and see what kind of person they are going to be. I want to see grandchildren someday. I'm not ready to die yet when I have so many goals and dreams to do w/ my life not only better for myself but for my kids and family. I've battled depression for so many years and I'm just now coming out of my shell and really enjoying life. I'm so afraid that this is going to set me back. I believe in god but just don't understand him. All I can do is pray and hope everything will turn out fine but I'm afraid that too won't be enough.