Sexual Chocolate's blog: "My comprehension is just too complex..."

Apparently I work next door to a shelter for the mentally disabled. At lunch time I usually go outside to the lunch cart and grab something real quick. An older mentally challenged gentleman was trying to buy lunch but from the sound of the coversation he didn't have enough money. The lady took his money and left it on the counter meanwwhile he's pointing to the menu trying to say "cheeseburger." So I pay for my lunch and get my change and without thinking put a couple dollars down on top of the man's money and told the lady he should have enough for his cheeseburger now. With that I left to go eat but it got me to thinking about how we should make an effort to help those that aren't as fortunate as ourselves. Yeah it was only a couple dollars to me, but it was lunch for that hungry man. Working in ny is giving me good opportunities to see things from a different perspective and I think I am becoming a more well rounded person because of it. I do hope you guys take a hard look at the world around you and know that even the slightest of positive change can force an even bigger one. Its your boy, y'all already know who it is...and I'm out. Peace...

To Tupac: The Realest Shit I Ever Wrote To celebrate the day of your birth I think of all that you meant to me and this earth I followed you since I was a lil nigga Your rhymes meant more to me when I got bigga At first I thought it was about havin fun and gettin down Thought it was all about girls and gettin around But there was so much more that you had to say Get back at everyone that crossed you and make them pay You were the "Rose That Grew From Concrete" I would give anything to be at your feet Just to learn from you and see the world through your eyes That's why your music touched me and made me realize Whenever I hear your music I wish you were still here If you were still around all of hiphop would fear Cause you wouldn't have let it get so played out Niggas making money off you still, yo they sold out It hurts to think about what more could have been All of us in the world living in our lives of sin You were the inspiriation that kept me going I close my eyes and I picture you rollin' There's nothing I can do to bring you back quicker And you know Imma always pour out a l'il likka but I guess I should end it on that note... this be the realest shit I ever wrote... I miss you nigga... by, Tim Bassett June 16, 2004

Ladies...see if you fit the description!!! Current mood: flirty dresses like a grandma: when i see old ladies in the street, my shit don't get rock plays musical instrument: she better be a professional skin flute/pecker piccalo professional is shorter than you: haha i love me a shawty same height as you: a girl that can look me in the eye is rare, turns me on too is taller than you: rarely ever have to look up at a female, not sure if a girl taller than 6-1 is for me has green eyes: green eyes are beautiful has blue eyes: blue eyes are deep has brown eyes: brown eyes are dark and mysterious has long hair: love me some long hair has med. hair: medium hair is cute too has short hair: short hair has to be done just right, or it aint right... drinks alcohol: ha we could definitely get along better smokes cigs: i dont like kissin ashtrays...i might could make an exception for the right lady smokes weed: as long as she aint feenin like snoop or on that nate smoke weed ereday shit...it could work wears glasses: glasses are cute has blonde hair: haha the most dangerous, been tryin to avoid em, they keep comin back to me, who am i to refuse :) has brown hair: aint nuttin like a brown haired italian or latina...yum... has black hair: the jet black...oh so sexy...holla at me... has red hair: red hair...rare...firery...radiant...gimmie some... works out?: long as you not so hard...we gon get bruises tryin to make love, i need a lil jiggle baby :) smiles: love me a cute smile man... calls you just to say hi: that's cool, don't blow up the celly though creative: in bed..haha hell yeah...i can only take so much of y'all just layin there...but when it feels so good and you don't have to work haha i understand ;) compliments you: haha a nigga like to know he lookin fresh wears jewelry: the proper jewelry is proper has bigger feet than you: haha nah...i got the size 12/13s if you got feet bigger than me...your ass need to be a fuckin pontoon boat or an air craft carrier or somethin...WE ARE NOW CLEARED FOR LANDING!!! has smaller feet than you: im not really down with feet, so the smaller the better smiles when you walk into the room: yessir...when sexual chocolate enters the room, i want smiles, and not just because my fly is down belly piercings: can be sexy on the right bellys...everybody can't do this virgin: wow..been there before...don't think i could go there again..i need a love with some experience laid back: with her mind on her money and her money on her mind? doesn't party: that's cool..she can be home with me on the couch watchin a movie..cuddlin... likes to party: that's cool too...we can be drinkin shots off each other..eatin cake off each other..and doin all kinna other krazy shit... wants to party: how can you not wanna party with me? laughs a lot: if you aint laughin while you around me, you must be dead...my sense of humor is like no other... giggles: haha i love a good giggle slutty: lets be honest fellas...you know we like a girl with a littlebitta slut in her..not too much though..i dont wana skeeza...(yeah bitches, i said skeeza) flirts with you: haha yeah, i love it when the ladies treat me kind pierced ears: yessir...then its easier to buy presents fo y'all lol pierced anything else: as long as it aint all all all over their bodies..i can work with it cussing: haha if you tryin to keep up with me in conversation, some profantiy is gonna have to be strewn about honest and open: that's number fuckin one up in this bitch goes to church: aint necessary wears makeup: natural beauty, painted on beauty, haha its all good to me...i just have to remember not to wear white so that shit don't get on my clothes lol

Who remembers making out? Current mood: naughty Remember back in the day, when we as a people weren't concerned with getting ass, we weren't concerned with how big our dicks were, or how wet our pussy got, or how we were just gonna put it on somebody? Back in the day we looked forward to making out. Yeah, I said it, making out. Remember when you used to kiss your girl until your mouth was dry, your lips hurt, and you could barely breathe? Don't even get me started on how I used to act like I was being slick and accidentally rub up against the titty...haha then put my whole hand on it and hope that I didn't get slapped so I could keep it there. Tell me you didn't get amped the first time you unclamped a bra. Make out sessions were where I perfected my two fingered bra unsnapping technique! Thank goodness I learned then cause it damn sure comes in handy now. Who remembers how you used to take your finger and rub the inside of your girls jeans haha hoping that you didn't get slapped...you'd notice she liked it and you'd just keep on going...And don't even get me started on dry humping. Hahaha I discovered that shit by accident. You'd be on top of your girl and your shit would be hard as a rock and maybe you were sure where it was supposed to go, but you had no intention of putting it there, so you just rubbed it up against the inside of your girl's leg and then when you noticed she was feelin it you would grind harder and faster. You have any idea how much friction clothes cause? You know how many good pairs of jeans I ruined back in the day? LOL!!! Finally, if you were a real advanced maker outer, y'all were into that topless making out, when both parties didn't have on shirts...titty would be rubbin on your chest, both of y'all would be all sweaty, all hell would be breakin loose, but nobody would be fuckin. And when you were finished, you were satisfied. No one got pregnant, no one got sick, haha sometimes I think to myself, why can't we bring it back there? Haha, but then I think about how good sexin' feels hahaha and I come back to my senses... Its your boy...Randy Watson aka Sexual Chocolate aka Damn I Wanna Make Out Wit Somebody Peace, Tim

Sexual Chocolate Attends Passion Party...Nuff Said! Current mood: horny Passion Party? Me? Invited? Aren't these only for women who sit around talking about lubes, creams, lotions, toys, dildos and all kinds of other unimaginable things? Why in the hell would I go? Why in the hell would they invite me? 11 women? Alcohol? Talking about sex? Haha your boy Randy Watson was gonna be on time for that. This would be the first Passion Party that I was invited to that I wasn't having one on one in my room or some hotel somewhere. Hahahaha. So I arrive at my friend's house and a few of the ladies are already there. I receive a couple of stares as I enter, but my friend assures them that they'll appreciate why I came later. I meet my friend's boss, an older woman with a bit of a mean streak but we sit down and chat for a minute. I pour myself a margarita. The woman gets offended because she thinks that I called her old, and I did not in fact call her old, I merely exclaimed, "Oh lord..." when she said she had a son almost as old as I am. Anyway more guests begin to arrive and yet we are still waiting on the Purveyor of Passion. Of course she was running on CP Time and 7:30 obviously meant 9:30. Suddenly there is a knock on the door and as I answer it there is a very attractive chocolate sister there with trunk loads of stuff. I immediately help her carry her things in and summon my friend's male roommate to assist me. After we carry the trunks in the living room, more guests arrive and after everyone gets a few drinks in them its time to begin. First the "Purveyor of Passion" lets call her, "Neequa" explains what she is all about, that she tried and tested the products (haha not the ones that were on display) and thought it would be a great idea to try and sell them. She tries to break the ice by having all of us play a game called dirty minds. Its a game where you get three nasty clues and you have to guess the clean answer. For example: - Schwarzenegger has a long one. - Spike Lee has a short one. - The Pope doesn't use his. ------ What is it? Answer: LAST NAME. So you go around the room and everyone is shouting out answers and if you get the answer correct you get a card. I had some difficulty with the game at first because all my answers were dirty haha but I did a little better as the game progressed. However we noticed that my friend's boss seemed to get the majority of the answers. I yelled and accused her of cheating, jokingly, as my competitive nature usually dictates...and she explained that she had the game at home and never played... Yeah right. She ends up winning and chose a prize for herself...it was either bath salts or anal beads. Yeah, anal beads that I did not stick around to find out about...as I went directly into the kitchen for another drink. When I came back Neequa had another ice breaker. Neequa needed 3 volunteers. Of course my hand shot up quickly. She passed out 3 bowls with a cheery in each and filled them up with whipped cream. She said the first one to find the cherry and put it in between their teeth will win a prize. She said go and I pressed my face deeply into the bowl of cool whipped topping. After a few minutes of exploration (I took my time with this one) I was finally able to pull out the cherry. Take a look at the clit I mean cherry between my teeth and all the passion, I mean whipped cream on my face. You can't say I don't get into my work. I might have lost the contest but I definitely gained the attention of all the ladies in the room. After this Neequa starts getting into a discussion about bath salts, body lotions and massage oils and whateva. I leave the room and come back only to be told to put some cream on my lips that is supposed to add sensation. I, partially drunk don't realize that they gave me some heating/warming lotion on my lips. Everything as cool for a few minutes until my soup coolers suddenly started getting warm. Taking advantage of my lips new found heat, I took the opportunity to clean them off by giving the lady next to me, and well call her, "Honey" a small but smearing kiss on the cheek. A few seconds later, the lotion did its job as she said, "ooh damn...I can feel it in my cheek." Hahaha. Then Neequa started discussing body lotions and body glitter lotions. She passed it around the room and let people put some on their arms and the ladies seemed to enjoy it. When it was my turn I casually took the gel, lifted up my shirt, and generously applied it to my chest and stomach. Neequa was laughing hysterically and the ladies joined in laughter oohing and aahing. It was a bit strange to have gold glitter all over my body but it matched the rest of my jewelry hahaha. The only bad part about that stuff was that after a few minutes it gave off a unique smell and I had to go wash it off later... After the lotions Neequa started getting into the more serious shit. Little vibrators she called bullets. Other vibrating devices that had combinations of bullets and cock rings, anal beads, some rotating vibrating devices, and a big black dildo named, "Chocolate Thunder." Girls think they are slick. They have little cute names for these toys like Dolphin and Bunny or whatever and a lot of them have bunnies and dolphins on them or they are animal shaped. I guess if some unsuspecting youngster stumbles upon this big long blue toy that resembles a dolphin, they won't ask too many questions but they may start playing with it themselves. Oh man. They even had a toy that was a battery operated tongue. You turned that shit on and it went up and down quicker than anything I've ever seen before. A hummingbird's wings couldn't flutter this fast. You can only imagine what they were using that thing for...jesus christ.... They even had some toys for the fellas. There was this rubber tube with a nose and mouth on one end. Inside were all these round/pointy sensation bumps and with some lube it was supposed to feel like head. I was a bit nervous about touching it because sadly the face that was on the outside of the toy looked like a dude and there was no way I was putting my shit in there. My favorite toy of the evening, and something I almost considered purchasing was similar to those squishy tubes we used to get at the carnivals. There were holes on either side and of course you would add lube and jerk off with it. The great part about it is that it was reversible. If you had it right side in, it was supposed to feel like vaginal sex and if you flipped it inside out it was supposed to get tighter and feel like anal sex. Hahaha fucking out of control the shit people have invented. Needless to say my first venture into the realm of how females talk about sex and how they pleasure themselves was an entertaining informative one. I also think that the ladies got a kick out of my company and I'll probably be invited to the next one. Fellas, be aware, these ladies have some toys that can do shit that our tongues and dicks can't even dare to compete with. Then you wonder why some women are impossible to please when they use 13 inches of blue rotating simultaneous clit and anal stimulating dolphin bunny sexual thunder dildos that they wear the batteries out of constantly. Fellas we gotta step our game up to compete hahaha. Its your boy, Sexual Chocolate, ready to apply his newfound knowledge on the next lady ready for one of my personal passion parties. I'm out. Peace.

I put this on my momma... Current mood: distressed First of all I want to give my condolances to Scott and Amanda on the loss of their mother. I attended a wake today and I saw them both calm and composed even though their mother was laying in front of them on display for all to mourn her. I don't kow them extrememly well, I never met their mother, I don't know how their relationship was, but I do know they were hurting and I'm so proud of them for being strong. I know I wrote some shit like this already, but this is MYspace and I can write whatever the fuck I wanna write and y'all can choose whether or not you wanna read it. I'm going to get back into it. Meanwhile in the back of my head as I am trying to be calm and maintain, I feel for them and the rest of their family, yet my thoughts can only think about what if. What if that was my mother up there? What if that was my sister and I standing there at the door shaking hands with friends and family members? Could I be strong? Could I be composed? Probably not and it hurts me to think of anything that would mean my mother is not here with me. I had to leave. Partially because I paid my respects, partially because I didn't want to see anymore greiving, and partially because I kept thinking what if. For those of you who still have your parents, especially your mother, make sure you take the time to appreciate them. Even if they get on you everyday about some bullshit, even if they ask you to do things you don't want to do, even if they embarrass you or hinder your social life, that is your mother. Your parents. The person(s) that gave you life, gave you everything you needed to get this far, those that would give their last just to make sure you were ok. I called her. I told her I loved her. That I appreciated her. I couldn't say any other words, she knew why I called. Aight. I'm good now, I needed to get that out. But for real, take heed to my word, make sure you let everyone in your life know how much you appreciate them because one day you could wake up...and they might not be there to share life with you anymore. Its your boy. A mama's boy even. Tim Bassett. And I'm out to go hug on my moms. Peace.

Hahaha just call me Tim aka bob muffuckin villa...mr home improvement himself... We have a light in our basement that the pull chain is broken on...so when you wanna turn it on you gotta screw in the bulb...so I get home he other night and by habit reach up to screw in the light bulb and end up burning the shit out of my thumb because there was no bulb there only filament. So I have a nice singe mark on my fingernail and let me tell you the smell of burt flesh and fingernail is not pleasant. Then I tried to kill the power and remove the broken fixture in the dark at 2am because I didn't want it to catch fire and ended up electrocuting myself. 7 zillion volts of power went shooting through my body and I dropped the pliers on the floor and called it a night. So I find out the next day that the bulb shattered. I told my mother what happend and she laughed and wondered why she didn't hear me scream. I told her it was because I didn't lol so she says here I bought a new light fixture go install it. Granted I've never done anything like this before but I grabbed some screw drivers and a step ladder and went at it. Surprisingly with the instruction it was quite simple...remember to kill the power and check for current before touching it with metal tools worked out for the best. With a friend holding the flashlight and me working my tools for all they were worth, 15 minutes of effort was rewarded when the fixture was installed looking even better than the old one which was hanging up by masking tape lol. I turn the power on, untie the pull chain, pull and hope for the best. *click* the light comes on and I realize that I have just added yet another skill to my already impressive resume of abilities. I said, " let there be light" and there was. -Bob "Muffuckin" Villa

Sup people...today at 4:45 I got called into the office and sat in front of the treasurer and the head of hr/legal and smiled at them as they proceeded to tell me that the company's condition was so bad that they decided to outsource their IT department to our parent company in San Diego. So everything was cool, they gave me a lil severance pay, I was going to leave anyway but now I'm pad to look for a better job full time...that's not so bad. But then when I started packing my shit, I felt funny. I gave 5 years of myself here and had little to show for it except the experience and friendships I made. Friendships. Shit. I had to go and say goodbye to everyone that I'd become close with...and that hurt. That was the hard part. A teary emotional goodbye spelled the end of my Sanyo career and good riddance. I'm laid off they won't let me work they won't let me work I'm laid off they won't let me work ooooh they won't let me work Haha gotta love Akon... I'm out bitches...I guess I should look at this like a temporary paid vacation...