Tattooed Kitty akaDee's blog: "My Blogs"

I've had a few people tell me that I've changed and that I don't seem to care about anyone anymore..... That's a lie I do care and I'm still the same person all of you met when I first started coming to this site. The only thing that has changed from then to now is that I'm alot busier now. I'm working 40+hrs a week 6 and 7 days a week. I have very little time to do everything I need to during the week. I try to get on here as much as I can but that isn't very often and when I am here I can't stay long. I am sorry that some of you feel I have abandonded you. I have not I'm just having trouble learning to juggle everything with my new work hours. Those of you that have my cell number feel free to call or text my phone is always on 24hrs a day. If I don't answer leave a message I will get back to you just leave your number cause I may not have it anymore I lost my phone awhile back and lost alot of numbers. I will call you back when I get time. If I know you are trying to get hold of me I will try harder to make time to talk to you. I have not become stuck up or anything like that I simply don't have much spare time and for that I truly am sorry!!!! If I were rich and didn't have to work as much to get by I wouldn't but as it is I do. If you don't have my cell number leave me messages on here or even yahoo and I will get back to you or you can ask for the cell number I will probably give it to you if you are a good friend. Thank You, Dee

Sassy had 3 puppies!! She had them when I got home from I held her and helped her!! She is bein such a good mommy too! Cleaning them and feeding them. Currently they r all asleep. The first puppy she had was chocolate with cream markings like a rottweiler. The next one was all cream with white marks on it not like the first these marks are kinda like stripes lol. The last one, which was a suprise cause we were only exspecting 2, is mostly black and has tan markings just like the first one just harder to see because how dark she is. The first 2 had no tails which wasn't shocking cause their father is naturally bobtailed, the last one is the only one with a tail and is also the largest!!! They r all so cute!! I can't wait till they r bigger and moving around more! I think the first puppy the only male will be the lil punk or hard headed one LOL! He is just so spunky even now with his eyes closed. She actually ended up having 4 puppies she had one after I put her into the pin where she and her puppies will stay. It is another girl, she is black and tan and also has a tail. She is the runt of the litter.

I got a new job!!!!! WOOHOO! I'm gonna work for the Wornick Company. I'll be a quality control specialists. lol! I will be makin $13.50 an hour!! That is $2 more than I make now! I start on Monday at 6:30am ugh... That is the only thing that sucks about it is that I will be workin early lol. I'm not a morning person at all. For a week I will be workin 2 jobs cause I still work at White Castle till after next week. That doesn't really bother me I just keep thinkin about all the money I will be makin that week. On a bad note my neice decided to go live with her biological mom so I don't think she will be goin to college anymore.. Her mother is a dead beat and won't help her with anything so I look for her to loose both her jobs and not go to college cause she doesn't have a license so if the bitch doesn't take her to and from work she won't have any jobs. The only reason she done it was because my sister her step mom caught her in a lie and instead of living up to it she moved out tonight. I am so disappointed in her for doin that. She was excepted to Johnson and Wales in Florida... That is a great college for culinary arts which is what she does. Now I don't think she will go over something so stupid!!!!!!! I should just go and kick her ass for bein so dumb!!! Well I'm off to bed I have to work early.

Agony I'm not the one they see, I'm an image in your head. Distilled beneath the surface, left lying here for dead. Given up on and forgotten, just a memory of the past. Don't you see what you are doing? You think this agony won't last? Won't you show me what you mean? Oh, I done forgot you did. When you told me that you hated me, that this love was doomed to end. 'Go Ahead' you say. That's it you want me dead. Silence filled your head as the blood ran down bright red. Dripping heavy, flowing fast, Standing there, half dead, still breathing. Now are you happy? Don't you see what you've done? Do you want me to continue? Not much more and I'll be gone. Then this frightening image, something you encouraged me to do, will it haunt you forever? Will it make you love me too? Or at least care about the way I feel? My pain has ended, Now your's begins. You stand there suttle, Calm but dense. Silently I lie there, My arms folded on my chest. Cold and stiff, though not at rest. My eyes are closed tightly, my lips slightly open. I know you're standing over me. Why are you in disbelief? Is this not what you had asked for? Are you crying deep inside? No, you laugh as though it's funny, Then you face the ones who cared. Now they close my casket, encasing all my feelings, emotions, dreams, and cares, surrounding me in darkness, consuming all my fears. They've put me in the ground, then proceed to close my vault. See what happens when you don't care? Now you're haunted by this image everyday as darkness falls. Replaying in your memory one day at a time. Until one day you can't take it. You want to know the pain I felt, so you do the same thing I did, and still don't know just how I felt. Now you're lying in the casket, no one's standing over you. Was it worth the time and effort? Was it worth the pain you've caused me? Did it make you love me too? This is a poem I wrote a few weeks ago.. Wasn't really sure if I wanted to post it or not. Well there it is read and rate leave comments if you like!!

I'm movin at the end of this month back home to my parents' because I need to get my bills straightened out and my life basically... I am supposed to be starting a new job soon that pays more and gives more hours but now the position has been put on hold so I don't know when or if I'm gettin that job now. My roommate has changed I don't know who she is anymore and I hate that!! We use to be best friends but since she has been with Ralf she has been actin different and I don't like it. She isn't the same girl everyone use to love most people r leery of her lately because she is 2 faced. Our lease is up in March on our apartment and she doesn't know whether she is stayin or movin or atleast that is what she tells me... Accordin to several people at work she is keepin the apartment and has planned to for awhile now. She told them that she was gettin married on the February 16th also and I knew nothing about that till I confronted her about it. Then she told me all about what they r doin... Whatever I think she and him both r way to young to be gettin married especially him he is only just turnin 18yrs old on the 15th!! She is 3yrs older than him. They r cute together I will give her that but he is to childish and needs to grow up. I don't think it is goin to work between them right now because of that. They might work if they waited till he grew up. Anyway she still hasn't told me anything about her plans to keep the apartment and everything is in my name bill wise like the electric and cable/internet... When I move out on the 29th of this month I'm havin the electric shut off so she either needs to get with me and us switch it over to her name or they will be without electric for like a week cause that is how long it took to get them out here to turn it on in the first place. The cable/internet I'm havin transferred to my parent's when I go and I'm takin the dvr tht came with it with me and the remote that goes to it. I'm tellin the manager tomorrow that I am movin out on the 29th and that she doesn't know what she is doin but if they decide to stay my name is to be taken off the lease because I will no longer be a tenant. I don't want to do this to her but I have tried to get with her and figure things out but she hasn't come home in 3 days and I have told her at work that we need to sit down and talk about all this and she needs to decide whether or not they r keepin the apartment because the manager will want to know especially after I speak to her. I'm tryin to start college also so i can become a Vet Tech and really be makin money then. But that is lookin to be a bit dificult because of the movin and the money situation I'm in right now. I'm just so stressed about all this because it all came at me all together and is really pissin me off especailly the roommate part grrrr.. So if I seem alil on edge or not myself I'm sorry I'm just not in a good mood at all lately.. I have been wakin up everyday with a migraine and I keep gettin them throughout the day as well and they r killer I can't see very well when I have one and they won't go away with regular pain killers. I have to either take something really strong or sleep off the damn migraine..

Well my life really fuckin sucks right now!! I'm barely makin my bills and I'm not gonna have a christmas cause I'm broker than a joke! On the first I went to my mom's cause it was my dad's bday and my sister Tabatha was there. She told me she was pregnant. YAY right? Well today I go and get my niece Maria cause I haven't had time to see her in awhile. Well while I'm there gettin her my mom calls me and tells me that my sister miscarried at work today!..... It really sucks! Us Harp girls have what is called POS we aren't supposed to be able to get pregnant without fertility drugs to help us! Now she miscarries it tore her apart!! If it wasn't for my best friend and roommate I wouldn't have a home right now either! I can't get in a holiday spirit when I know I'm not gonna have one and every keeps talkin about christmas and stuff it gets to me! I'm just sooooooo stressed cause all this hit me at once this week and it really sucks!! I find myself cryin at random and it gets harder and harder to stop cryin lately!

Man it's been so long since I got to sit down just to be sittin! LOL! I have had some really messed up schedules at work lately. They keep bouncin me back and forth from day shift to third shift and back again. Last week I had like maybe a total of 5hrs sleep for the entire week! I was so so tired. I have been workin so much that I hardly have time to just sit back and be me for a minute or two. I feel so stressed over all the drama at work cause everyone is workin so much overtime that we are all just goin at each others necks constantly. I'm just there to do my job and go home. I don't want to fight with anyone. I hate arguing and fights. I try to just walk away when people try to start stuff with me but sometimes you can't back down. I'm only 20yrs old and everyone expects so much out of me! I'm still in my partyin age. I need to be able to just cut loose sometime! Everyone expects me to act like 30yrs old at all times. I can't do it. I need to be me and have some fun or I'm gonna explode! I need a release! My body is so sore from the stress I have built up inside me right now. I wake up stiff and I have trouble gettin up and motivated lately. I just want to sleep all the time cause when I'm asleep no one can bother me and no one can fight with me or yell at me for stupid shit! When I sleep life is prefect and there is no stress for that short time of my life. Thanksgiving is this week and then comes Christmas! I'm so not ready for Christmas. I'm so broke because I just bought a new car which was needed not just wanted! My old car was fixin to die on me and I definitely couldn't have afforded that. So I got rid of that one and got a brand new one that has warranties to cover most anything that could go wrong with it so I won't have to pay so much for repairs. I don't have ate that said "bgpimpn". Well I'm gonna go and probably sleep seeings how it is 6am and I just got home from work.

WoooHooo!! I got my Ford Fusion I wanted!! It's a 2007! It is Amethyst color which if u didn't know is a dark purple. It has a 6cd changer in the dashboard and it is all wheel drive!! I love it. It drives so smooth!!!! I love driving it. Well I got to go cause I need to go to bed I have alot to do tomorrow!!