Wild Hope's blog: "~*My Blog~*"

I look up at you, confusion and fear in my eyes. I don't know what to do. One single tear rolls down my face. You have hurt me once more,yet I love you still. You reach for me, wiping away the tears that now fall freely down my face. I look deep into your eyes, pleading to you to stop this ache. I don't want to hurt. I need you; but more than that, I need you to be truthful. You kiss my forehead and whisper in my ear, "Do you trust me?" I can't lie. I still want to give you a chance; a chance to let you back in. I nod and you take me in your arms. I feel so safe; and somehow I know that you will not mess up again. "I love you", you whisper into my hair while you hold me close. "I love you, too" I reply softly, tenderly. I give in to the feeling; the feeling of Love.

Disappear I thought that our love could pull us through, that the passion that burned inside me could keep our love alive. But being the "child" that I am, the people around me have the final say. I have to let you go before it's too late for you, before you fall in their trap. I'm their bait. You have to leave, run as fast as you can before the trap is set into motion. Forget me. Forget the sound of my laugh, forget my smile. Forget the feelings that you have for me.Before it's too late for you. You still have a chance; a chance to erase me and start anew. As for me, I shall do what I must, remembering you everytime I look or feel the delicate chain around my neck. I hope you listen and don't hesitate to ask questions or to get an explanation. Don't look back; I couldn't bear it if you did. From the moment you read this I hope you listen to my warning. You need to erase me, you need to forget me. I have to disappear

I crash on the floor, defeated by the course my life's taken tonight. I let the tears fall, tears filled with hopelessness and feel them on my cheeks,the burning sensation as strong as the one making me tremble inside. I can't deal with this pain, this sudden blow I wasn't expecting. It knocked me off my feet before I could see what it was. I look around the room and my eyes land on a blade. All it would take is one swipe; one cut deep enough that would make my pain seep out in red droplets. That's all it would take. But then I see your face, hear your voice telling me not to. The tears fall once again, releaving some of the pain. I can't do it, I know you would stop me. So I place the blade down,away from my wrist and shaking hand. I promised you I wouldn't. I can't let this happen to me, can't give in. I can't quit the fight. I can't give up.

New Day (written 1/28/06 and no this isn't about you Allan so don't even start with me) Last night, the world seemed intolerable,almost impossible for me to make it through the night. But when I awoke this morning, the world was bright and beautiful once more. I stepped outside and let the sun's rays graze my skin softly, taking away the remnants of the bitter tears I cried last night. I feel a calm flowing through me. Maybe there will be life in your absense. Maybe happiness is possible without you. I smile up at the gentle caress of the sun's heat. My life isn't over. It's barely started. I turned a new leaf in the book. And it all started with the dawn of a new day.

miss you (2/7/06) The day looks gloomy outside. Dark grey clouds cover the sun's cheery face. But inside my heart, it's a beautiful day. Yet something's missing. The thing that makes everything else shine. I wish I could talk to you so I wouldn't have to miss you so much. I yearn to be in your arms; feel your warm embrace. I'm falling into the dreary mood of the weather. But I know that if I could just hear your voice, the sun would shine again. I miss you.

Everyone imagines him as a fiend, a monster that might slit my throat at any time. But no one even bother to take a glance to see the real him, the one who is sweet and caring and smart. The person that I love. My friend. I wish people wouldn't be so quick to judge and look at what's actually there. Take time to explore the compassionate character I've come to know and apreciate more than I can say. He's the one that I can open up to and share all my thoughts with, without having to worry about being judged by them. He's my friend, my love, my world. I just wish you could see...

The moon shines brightly in the sky, the stars twinkle. The trees all dance a slow dance. It must be Valentine's day. Everyone aims to show their loved ones how much they care, show how much love is in our hearts. Cookies and candies and roses sell plenty. A feeling of love hovers over us all. But honestly speaking, I might love you more than I did yesterday but tomorrow I shall love you more than today. Everywhere you look, people are kissing, holding each other tightly. A gloom descends around me as I realize that I won't be able to spend this beautiful holiday by your side. But then I realize: you'll be there tomorrow as well. And I will love you ever day, of every month, of every year of my life. Year in and year out. That I promise

My Escape (2/16/06) You're always there when I need you. You give me advice and really listen when I talk. You make my life bearable. You even make me smile when I'm sad. Before I knew you, there was an emptiness that I couldn't fill. Then you came along and made me whole again. You are the thing that keeps me hanging in there. You're like the drug I can't get enough of. My shelter from the storm. My Escape

I look in the mirror, but I see a different person. I stare at my reflection, trying to find a fragment of my old self. I feel like I don't exist anymore, like I've crawled out of my skin. I'm no longer myself. It's like I've left my body, searching for the one I love. I fear that I'm going to fall apart. It's been too long since I've heard his voice; too long since I've heard him say " I love you". It's been too long. Now I sit here, waiting to hear his voice. Only then can I be completely happy. I look once more at the girl that used to be me, and the image splinters into a million pieces in front of my eyes.

Friends, all together for a fun adventure. On our way out from our boring routines. We sit together in a bus, reminiscing over last times; just being close to each other. we look out the window, watching life pass us by. We watch as the scenery, the weather,change. But we remain the same. But sometimes some of us find the outside world appealing and yearn to explore it, see more than what the glass that separates the two worlds can let them glance at. Some of us may leave, others may stay. But the journey continues, the friendships never end.