Wild Hope's blog: "~*My Blog~*"

Another thought of you has passed through my mind. I have lost count of how many thoughts of you I've had in the last hour alone. It's as if you've become a part of me; and with that feeling, comes another one that tells me that we are one. Since the day that you became mine, I have thought us soulmates, each other's counterparts, the same person in two different bodies. I try so hard, but I can't explain what you mean to me. All I know is that my only wish is to forever be by your side, through good and bad, highs and lows. My only desire is to be your shelter from the world. To be by your side, making you braver as you face your fears. Being your net if ever you should fall. I want to be your world. I want you to know that no matter what may come, I will never abandon you, never stop loving you. That would be impossible, my love. You mean the world to me. You ARE my world. Hearing your name or just thinking of you makes me smile as if I have the world in the palm of my hand. And it's true, because I have you. You're the only thing that's ever made sense. The one thing that feels right. We belong. So, my vow to you is this: Times may change, but my love for you will only grow stronger. Sadness and anger may strike, but I will only hold on to you tighter, helping you by not letting you go, by loving you as much as I can. Hard times may come, but we will face them together and push through. This I swear. You have my heart, soul, mind, and my very being. I am faithfully yours

There's nothing that hurts more, than when someone says he'll love you forever, and the next thing you know...he's gone There's nothing that hurts more, than knowing that you gave your heart the chance to love again, and the person you thought would come through and make you soar, just clips your wings before you get the chance to raise your feet off the ground. There's no sting worse, than that of deceit; the prickling sensation you get when you are told a lie, and it is later uncovered. There is no feeling more heartbreaking, than that of knowing that he told you he loved you, but he's now found someone else to lie by his side. And there is definitely nothing compared to the feeling of knowing that you will never love again, for love in my life is just a castle in the sky. Something so unreal, so built on lies, that it will never be.

Don't you hate it when you like someone, and they don't like you back? That's one of the ways where I think life isn't quite fair. I mean, there should be something that makes it so that if you like someone, it's meant to happen, and it just...DOES. Cuz I know that at least for me, it's really frustrating to like someone and they like someone else, and maybe that someone likes someone else and...it's a neverending circle!!! UGH! The next obvious step is to stop liking the person, cuz obviously they just aren't into you. Sounds easy, huh? HAH! I wish. It's so hard to get over a crush, and even harder still when you think it's meant to be. I mean, cuz if the crush doesn't make sense, then fine. Give it a month or maybe a little less. But when you look at the guy (or girl, as the case may be), and you see everything in them that you need,want, and adore, it's a bitch to get over it. I think I'm done venting now. Man, did that feel good!!! ~*Carlie~*

Okay, so I really need to vent on this before I explode. I had a relationship on here, that I knew I shouldn't have gotten into. Because, I am so over these bullshit internet relationships! I mean, if the guy is gonna actually come and see me, fine. But if it doesn't happen, what's the use?! Okay, so I just got out of what I thought would be my last relationship. I was all ready to settle down and crap. It didn't work. And right now, that's not even the point. The point is that SOMEONE then posted a bulletin telling the whole fuckin website that i was single and was looking for someone to "mend" my heart with. WHAT THE HELL?! did i SAY I wanted that? How can a guy just ASSUME that I'm over something when he doesn't even know that I'm STILL crying? I don't get how someone can be so insensitive...it makes me want to cry all over again.... -Carla

What is this feeling burning in the pit of my stomach? Everytime I get the feeling, I feel like I want to burst. It's this hot anger curdling through me. It's this intense hatred mixed with sadness that pumps through my veins at one hundred miles per hour. I feel I could scream at the top of my lungs so that the whole world will hear it and feel my pain reverberating in their souls. I think I know what this is. I believe it is called jealousy.

A child- naive, feeble, sweet and smiling- walks carefully inside the maze. She skips through it, trying to find the way out. An ever-loving child, going through the first years of her life. Time goes by and I become a blossoming young woman, the child is still within me; the beautiful, sweet, innocent and loving child. I have searched for someone to live me for a while. But it seems that everytime I give my heart to someone, they just use it it and bend it, molding it to their liking, leaving me colder inside and leading me farther into this maze, this trap. So here I sit, sobbing and huddled against one of the tall hedges that keep me prisoner. I am weak; torn from so much. Then I feel a hand on me; a hand removing my long hair from my tear-stained face, revealing my heaving body. I look up and whimper, seeing a tall man hovering over my trembling body. My innocent eyes have seen so much; my ears have heard many harsh words. My body felt sharp shoves and hard slaps. I start to whimper louder, scurrying away from the tall man, trying to push myself away by going against the hedge as far as I can go. You take a step closer and kneel down You take your hand and caress my face softly. I wince at your soft touch; never have I known a touch so tender. My heart beats fast in my chest, reminding me of my foolishness in the past and I whimper and pull away, the place where you touched burning. You remove your hand, glancing at my bruised and weak body. Without hesitation, you pick me up and put your arms around me, making soothing noises to calm the whimpering escaping my trembling lips. You hold me close, watching over me, making me slowly relax in your arms. I feel safe and happy for the first time in what seems like a lifetime. I become the sweet and loving girl I was before heartbreak. I feel safe in your arms, feel ecstatic when you tell me " I love you" as you caress my body softly, making all my worries, concerns and guilt go away. You stroked my hair and nurtured me. You are my savior, my guardian, my love. The one that led me through the maze called Life.

Everytime I think of you, I can't help but smile. I have known you for so long that it feels almost as if I know you inside and out. You have been there for me when I needed someon. You are who I lean on for love and support. No matter what happens, you will always be a part of me.You own a part of my love forever and always. And although we may not talk all that often, and we miss each other, a part of me will be with you always. Our friendship is so strong that I don't think anything could tear us apart. Our friendship is like a strong rope. Both of us refuse to let go of something so precious. It's too thick to be cut by someone who's heart burns with jealousy. It's indestructible. That is you and me. That's us. Together forever.

look at you and see your feelings for me in your loving gaze. I take your hand in mine and give it an encouraging squeeze as I smile adoringly up at you. We've come so far... Made it through betrayal, jealousy,sorrow and anger. But mostly we have made it through together; holding onto each other for support and shelter, heading towards total bliss. We trust each other, give each other a hand while we climb this mountain called love; hold each other up while we climb higher. When one of us slips on a loose stone, a little lie or betrayal, the other one reaches over and pulls the other up. I will always pull you up and continue to love you as long as I can trust you and am sure you're up for the steep climb to the top. For there, my love,is where eternal love lies.

Betrayal ( something I wrote a long time ago) You were my guardian, I trusted you, bared my soul to you. You backstabbed me, hurt me deeper than I ever knew it was possible. This is worse than heartbreak. It's a never-ending sting inside me. I can't believe this... How could you do this to me and her? How could you? You say you love me, you say you care, that you would never hurt me. You just did. Now I am lying here, crying, thinking and trying to find a reason for you to do this. I can't even begin to describe the pain I feel inside. I should have never trusted you. I regret it so much. You are such a hypocrite. You took me away from a man that was dangerous and you did far more damage than he ever did. You ruined the innocent me that people had grown to love; you made me and her be hated by all; you have made us both cry tears of sadness and betrayal. You are a heartless bastard. I hate you and never want to speak to you again. I am going to tear you to pieces.You are warned. You messed with one of my loved ones and with me and I swear to you that you shall feel the pain of these tears running down my cheeks; feel their burn. I can't believe this. And all this time I thought you cared. You never did. And even if you did, you might as well forget it now. You've hurt me so much that I don't think I will ever tell you anything else. You've shot me, left me lying on the floor, bleeding and dying. Since you are the cause, can you tell me if this is what betrayal feels like?

~*Home~* I stand in the shelter if the trees.The clearing in front of me is the unknown; the forest my shelter. I lean against the tree for support and trace the rough bark. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see someone standing in the clearing. I find myself suddenly curious. Who is this tall stranger in the unknown path ahead? I start walking towards the mysterious person, leaving behind everything that is safe; leaving the old ghosts that haunted me behind as well. All of a sudden, the moonlight reveals all. Your beautiful silhouette bathes in the luminous light of the moon. You look into my eyes and take me in your arms, returning to me the feeling of being safe. And that's when I know: I'm safe, loved and treasured. I've finally come home.