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GoofyLady's blog: "Misc"

created on 10/15/2006  |  http://fubar.com/misc/b14054

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes. _____________________________________________________ Preparing for the birth: 1st baby: You religiously practice your breathing. 2nd baby: You don't bother . . . because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing! 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. ______________________________________________________ The layette : 1st baby: You pre-wash the newborn's clothes and fold them neatly (color-coordinated) in the baby's little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure the baby clothes are clean, discarding only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they? ______________________________________________________ Worrying: 1st baby: At the first sign of distress -- a whimper, a frown -- you pick the baby up. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. ______________________________________________________ Pacifier: 1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until you can go home and wash and boil it. 2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off with some juice from the baby's bottle. 3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back into the baby's mouth. ______________________________________________________ Diapering: 1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour whether they need it or not. 2nd baby: You change the baby's diaper every two to three hours, if needed. 3rd baby: You try to change the baby's diaper before people complain about the smell or you see it sagging to their knees. ______________________________________________________ Activities: 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby S wing, Baby Story Hour and . . . 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. ______________________________________________________ Going out: 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home five times! 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reach ed. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call 'only if she sees blood.' ______________________________________________________ At home: 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children. __________________________________________________ ____ Swallowing coins: 1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to the hospital and demand x-rays! 2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for the coin to pass. 3rd child: When third child swallows a coin, you deduct it from his allowance. ______________________________________________________ Pass this on to everyone you know who has children or KNOWS someone who has had children. (The older the mother, the funnier this is!) GRANDCHILDREN: God's reward for you allowing your children to live

Tag...You're It !!

Tagged By Honeypots You Can Only Type ONE Word. Not as easy as you might think. Now copy and paste into your blog and tag 5 ppl to do the same. Leave a comment to let us know you have done it, AND LEAVE THEM A COMMENT TO LET THEM KNOW THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED. It's really hard to only use one-word answers! 1. Where is your cell phone? none 2. Your significant other? Paul 3. Your hair? Long 4. Your mother? Dead 5. Your father? Unknown 6. Your favorite thing? Games 7. Your dream last night? None 8. Your favorite drink? Coffee 9. Your dream/goal? Peace 10. The room you're in? Living 11. Music?50's 12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive 14. Where were you last night? Home 15. What you're not? Sane 16. Muffins? Blueberry 17. One of your wish list items? Happiness 18. Where you grew up? Washington 19. The last thing you did? Typed 20. What are you wearing? Clothing 21. TV? Blah 22. Your pets? Dogs 23. Your computer? Laptop 24. Your life? Chaotic 25. Your mood? Goofy 26. Missing someone? Maybe 27. Favorite Store? Walmart 30. Your summer? Hot 31. Like someone? Nope 32. Your favorite color? Green 33. When is the last time you laughed? Today 34. Last time you cried? Yesterday I Taggged... #1 pussy giver Shauny66 Snack Attack Drmami0031 Crazymama45

Tag...You're It

Tagged By ღAMANDAღ You Can Only Type ONE Word. Not as easy as you might think. Now copy and paste into your blog and tag 5 ppl to do the same. Leave a comment to let us know you have done it, AND LEAVE THEM A COMMENT TO LET THEM KNOW THEY HAVE BEEN TAGGED. It's really hard to only use one-word answers! 1. Where is your cell phone? none 2. Your significant other? Paul 3. Your hair? Long 4. Your mother? Dead 5. Your father? Unknown 6. Your favorite thing? Games 7. Your dream last night? None 8. Your favorite drink? Coffee 9. Your dream/goal? Peace 10. The room you're in? Living 11. Music?50's 12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Alive 14. Where were you last night? Home 15. What you're not? Sane 16. Muffins? Blueberry 17. One of your wish list items? Happiness 18. Where you grew up? Washington 19. The last thing you did? Typed 20. What are you wearing? Clothing 21. TV? Blah 22. Your pets? Dogs 23. Your computer? Laptop 24. Your life? Chaotic 25. Your mood? Goofy 26. Missing someone? Maybe 27. Favorite Store? Walmart 30. Your summer? Hot 31. Like someone? Nope 32. Your favorite color? Green 33. When is the last time you laughed? Today 34. Last time you cried? Yesterday I Tag... Honeypots Carrie Cengin COUGARBABY In My Dreams...Or Your?
I have not been able to get caught up on answering all my comments and rating my friends for the last 5 days... I have started a Bombing Family and between bombing and running the Home Page I have been pretty busy... I am asking all of you to please be patient with me...I will get to all of you as soon as I can get caught up... I love all my family,friends and fellow train riders...you all rawk my world! If any of you would like to check my Family out...Here is the link: Independent Bombers & Levelers ! Fu*Angels / Lost*Boyz & The Love Shack
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Some peopl​e! '​ snort​ed a man stand​ing behin​d me in the long line at the groce​ry store​. ​'You would​ think​ the manag​er would​ pay atten​tion & open anoth​er line,​ '​said a woman​.​ I looke​d to the front​ of the line to see what the hold up was and saw a well dress​ed,​ young​ woman​,​ tryin​g to get the machi​ne to accep​t her credi​t card. ​No matte​r how many times​ she swipe​d it, the machi​ne kept rejec​ting it. '​It'​s one of them welfa​re card thing​s.​ Peopl​e need to get a job like every​one else,​'​ said the man stand​ing behin​d me. The young​ woman​ turne​d aroun​d to see who had made the comme​nt.​ 'It was me,' he said,​ point​ing to himse​lf. The young​ lady'​s face began​ to chang​e expre​ssion​.​ Almos​t in tears​,​ she dropp​ed the welfa​re card onto the count​er and quick​ly walke​d out of the store​.​ Every​one in the check​out line watch​ed as she began​ runni​ng to her car. Never​ looki​ng back,​ she got in and drove​ away. After​ devel​oping​ cance​r in 1977 & havin​g had to use food stamp​s;​ I had learn​ed never​ to judge​ anyon​e,​ witho​ut knowi​ng the circu​mstan​ces of their​ life.​ This turne​d out to be the case today​. ​Sever​al minut​es later​ a young​ man walke​d into the store​.​ He went up to the cashi​er & asked​ if she had seen the woman​.​ After​ descr​ibing​ her, the cashi​er told him that she had run out of the store​,​ got into her car, & drove​ away. ​'Why would​ she do that?​'​ asked​ the man. Every​one in the line looke​d aroun​d at the fello​w who had made the state​ment.​ 'I made a stupi​d comme​nt about​ the welfa​re card she was using​.​ Somet​hing I shoul​dn'​t have said.​ I'm sorry​,​'​ said the man. '​Well,​ that'​s bad, real bad, in fact.​ Her broth​er was kille​d in Afgha​nista​n two years​ ago. He had three​ young​ child​ren & she has taken​ on that respo​nsibi​lity.​ She'​s twent​y years​ old, singl​e,​ & now has three​ child​ren to suppo​rt,​ '​he said in a very firm voice​. ​'I'm reall​y truly​ sorry​.​ I didn'​t know,​'​ he repli​ed,​ shaki​ng both his hands​ about​. ​The young​ man asked​,​ 'Are these​ paid for?​'​ point​ing to the shopp​ing cart full of groce​ries. 'It would​n'​t take her card,​'​ the clerk​ told him. 'Do you know where​ she lives​?​'​ asked​ the man who had made the comme​nt. '​Yes,​ she goes to our churc​h. '​Excus​e me,' he said as he made his way to the front​ of the line.​ He pulle​d out his walle​t,​ took out his credi​t card and told the cashi​er,​ '​Pleas​e use my card.​ PLEAS​E!​'​ The clerk​ took his credi​t card & began​ to ring up the young​ woman​'​s groce​ries. ​Hold on,' said the gentl​eman.​ He walke​d back to his shopp​ing cart & began​ loadi​ng his own groce​ries onto the belt to be inclu​ded.​ '​Come on people.​ We got three​ kids to help raise​!​'​ he told every​one in line. ​Every​one began​ to place​ their​ groce​ries onto the fast movin​g belt.​ A few custo​mers began​ baggi​ng the food & placi​ng it into separ​ate carts​.​ 'Go back & get two big turke​ys,​'​ yelle​d a heavy​set woman​,​ as she looke​d at the man. '​NO,​'​ yelle​d the man. Every​one stopp​ed dead in their​ track​s. ​The entir​e store​ becam​e quiet​ for sever​al secon​ds.​ '​Four turke​ys,​'​ yelle​d the man. Every​one began​ laugh​ing & went back to work. ​When all was said & done,​ the man paid a total​ of $​1,​646.​57 for the groce​ries.​ He then walke​d over to the side,​ pulle​d out his check​ book,​ & began​ writi​ng a check​ using​ the bags of dog food piled​ near the front​ of the store​ for a writi​ng surfa​ce. ​He turne​d aroun​d & hande​d the check​ to the young​ man 'She will need a freez​er & a few other​ thing​s as well,​'​ he told the man. The young​ man looke​d at the check​ & said,​ '​This is reall​y very gener​ous of you. '​No,​'​ said the man. 'Her broth​er was the gener​ous one. Every​one in the store​ had been obser​ving the odd commo​tion and began​ to clap.​ & I drove​ home that day feeli​ng very Ameri​can. ​We live in the Land of the free,​ becau​se of the Brave​!​!​!​ Remem​ber our Troop​s of Yeste​rday & Today​!​!​!​ A great​ examp​le of why we shoul​d be kind and patie​nt. Kindn​ess is the langu​age the blind​ can see and the deaf can hear. ​May many bless​ings conti​nue to be with you - ALWAY​S!​!​!​

9 Fat-Burning Eating Tips

9 Fat-Burning Eating Tips Now don't get all excited. We don't have any magic wand solutions that will take the place of exercise and eating right. But we do have a few foods that could help you on your journey to rid yourself of excess flab. Hungry Girl's here with the scoop... LEAN PROTEIN To put it simply, protein takes a lot of effort for the body to break down and digest. A lot more than, say, fat. So while your body is working hard to process that protein, you're burning calories. HG tip -- eat fish! Chances are you're not getting enough of it. Not only is fish a fabulous source of lean protein, BUT many types are full of those Omega-3 fatty acids you're always hearing about. Beans are also a wonderful source of protein. And it's no secret how we feel about our friend the soybean. (Let's have a cheer for veggie patties and soy-meats!) WHOLE GRAINS Belly fat is not particularly cute on anyone (except maybe babies), so it's exciting news that whole grains can do a number on that stubborn flab around your midsection. One of the easiest ways to get whole grains into your diet? Oatmeal in the morning. Quaker's Simple Harvest Multigrain Hot Cereal is really good and just full of grains. Also, Kashi GoLean's Hot Cereal packs in 7 whole grains and a big 5 - 7g fiber! Mmmmm... GRAPEFRUIT Ever since you were a kid popping Flintstones Chewables, you've known that Vitamin C is good for you -- and that certainly hasn't changed. Vitamin C is a powerful antioxidant AND has been shown in studies to help burn fat. So, if you're looking for a snack, how's about a nice, juicy grapefruit? The theory is that grapefruit helps to lower insulin levels, which keeps you from being hungry all the time! We know it smacks of classic diet food, but those Ruby Reds are MIGHTY delicious! If it's too sour for you straight, sprinkle it with some no-calorie sweetener like Splenda or stevia. GREEN TEA Green tea is EVERYWHERE. It's been classified as a "superfood" as it's been linked to reduced rates of heart disease and cancer. And now it helps us lose weight too? Green tea has been shown to raise our metabolism, which is key in our battle with the bad stuff. Researchers also suspect that substances called polyphenols combined with caffeine are responsible for its fat-burning properties. If the hot murky stuff doesn't do it for you, try HG's Green Tea Crème Swappuccino! Only 75 calories and SO GOOD! SPICY FOODS You know how when you eat spicy foods, you sometimes start to sweat a little (ew)? That's because it's given a little kick to your heart rate. These little kicks will result in a temporary increase in your metabolism, which will help you burn fat a little easier for a bit. A quick hit with cayenne, red pepper flakes, or whatever hot sauce you fancy should do the trick and get your blood pumping. And these spices are practically calorie-free. Yes! LIGHT DAIRY Hey, dairy queens! Good news! It turns out that people who eat low-fat or fat-free dairy lose MORE weight than people who don't. Sure we mentioned protein before, but it bears bringing up again since the magical combo of calcium and protein seems to work wonders. We're WAY into yogurt, so we suggest picking up some Fage Total 0% Greek Yogurt and mixing in your favorite fruits, sugar-free preserves... or whatever! Also, light string cheese is a GREAT little snack, with only around 50-60 calories and 2.5g fat a pop. Not bad for hard cheese, people. WATER Experts say it's important to drink lots of water if you're trying to burn fat Your body can't work effectively if it's dehydrated -- not only will you FEEL like you don't have any energy, but also your body really won't have what it needs to function and burn off fat. Keep that machine humming -- drink around 8 glasses of water a day! CINNAMON Sure this stuff tastes good -- that's why it's found in SO many things. But those chefs might not know that their sprinkling of cinnamon is helping the body process sugar more effectively and lower blood sugar levels. High blood sugar can lead to the body storing more fat, so maybe put together a little shaker of cinnamon and Splenda to sprinkle on your favorite foods! Then whip up some fat-burning cinnamon toast by using your new concoction on whole-wheat bread! APPLES An apple a day isn't going to keep the gym away, but it'll probably make your diet plan more effective. Word on the street is that the pectin contained in apples limits how much fat your cells can absorb. (SWEET!) Plus it's a naturally soluble fiber, which is always good. So next time you feel all snacky, grab whichever apple looks best to you (we love Fujis!). Hungry for More? Check out Hungry Girl: Recipes and Survival Strategies for Guilt-Free Eating in the Real World. The book's a New York Times Best Seller, and it's packed with 165 super-easy and delicious recipes, survival guides for eating out, and so much more! For a daily dose of guilt-free tips, tricks, food finds, recipes and more, visit hungry-girl.com and sign up for free daily emails!

My Day Of Birth

The influence of your Day of Birth; You were born on the ninth of the month, which means your birth number is 9. You're a broad-minded, idealistic, generous and energetic woman. And talk about a flair for the dramatic! You truly enjoy making "an entrance," whether it be into a room or into life. For you, life is one exciting adventure, which you nonetheless take quite seriously. You're the type of woman who wants to experience everything there is to do at any one time. Going on vacations with you can be frustrating for friends and family because you want to see and do EVERYTHING! Your Destiny number; To those who know you, you're as solid as the Rock of Gibraltar! You're a 100 percent reliable and trustworthy woman. The reason why you have your feet on the ground 24 hours per day is that you're under the influence of a 4 Destiny. Women with this Destiny are sensible, hardworking and live life with integrity. In fact, you probably adhere to that old saying, "Honesty is the BEST-and ONLY-policy!" In order to fulfill your destiny, it's important to accept that there are certain things you must be, do, and accomplish in your life. As a woman with a 4 Destiny, your mission in life is to create permanence in situations and to turn dreams into reality. Your major goals are to improve and reform. Your Life Path's influence; Your kind and gentle characteristics are a result of the 9 Lifepath you travel. Women on this Lifepath have a deep respect for humankind and a great love for ALL they meet. It's little wonder that your life's slogan is "Hello, how can I help you?" You're the official Greeter of our human race! The reason YOU are here in this life is to serve others - and to derive satisfaction from giving without any thought of reward or return. Your Intuitive Plane; When others start to get carried away with far fetched ideas and impractical schemes, you're the gal who quickly brings everyone down to earth. Mixed in there with your common sense approach to life is a generous dose of SKEPTICISM. You feel much more comfortable making decisions based on "just the facts" -- not hunches or fake feelings. Generally speaking, you don't do anything without having a darned good reason for doing it. You are forever rationalizing your behavior. For example, you would justify the purchase of a new car in terms of gas mileage, warranties, rebates, etc. -- very practical benefits. But you would NOT readily admit to having any strong feelings on the subject. Your self-control is admirable - there's really very little room for improvement in that area. You see yourself much as others see you - as an objective and CAUTIOUS woman. "Better safe than sorry" are the words you live by. Your Personality number - how others see you; What a charmer you are! You're the first woman EVERYONE thinks of when it comes to parties because you make such a terrific guest. The moment you walk in the door, in fact, you have a cluster of people hanging on your every word before you can even say "hello!" You give off an aura of enthusiasm and optimism for life that others find hard to resist. (You appear this way, even if you're crying and raging on the inside!) You also have a creative and artistic flair that manifests itself in some interesting and unusual ways. The reason for your intense enjoyment of life and people is that you're under the influence of a 3 Outer Personality. Women with this personality excel at relationships because they're so charming, youthful and fun. Your Soul Urge influence - what truly makes you happy; A rebel WITH a cause, determined, headstrong, ambitious . . someone with a lot of willpower . . . If this sounds like YOU, you're absolutely right! Your desire to take control of any situation results from the influence a 1 Soul Urge has over you. You're at your best when you work alone, and can come up with innovative and trend-setting ideas! What gets you through life is inner strength, willpower and an ability to master almost any situation.
HOW TO MAKE A ROMANTIC DINNER: Ingredients: 4 passionate eyes 4 sculpted legs 4 grasping arms 20 exploratory fingers 2 firm milk containers 2 nuts 1 small wet mixing bowl 1 firm banana Directions: 1. Look into passionate eyes. 2. Spread sculpted legs with grasping arms. 3. Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently, while using exploratory fingers to prepare the mixing bowl. 4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. (For best results, be verbal with your actions) 5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak for as long as you can take. 6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls. Notes: 1. If you are in an unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.

Stephen King

Stephen King Bibliography Novels: Carrie (1974) • ’Salem’s Lot (1975) • Rage (as Richard Bachman) (1977) • The Shining (1977) • Night Shift (stories) (1978) • The Stand (1978) • The Dead Zone (1979) • The Long Walk (as Richard Bachman) (1979) • Firestarter (1980) • Cujo (1981) • Road Work (as Richard Bachman) (1981) • The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger (1982) • Different Seasons (novellas) (1982) • The Running Man (as Richard Bachman) (1982) • Christine (1983) • Pet Sematary (1983) • Cycle of the Werewolf (1983) • The Talisman (written with Peter Straub) (1984) • Thinner (as Richard Bachman) (1984) • Skeleton Crew (stories) (1985) • The Bachman Books (novel collection) (1985) • It (1986) • The Eyes of the Dragon (1987) • Misery (1987) • The Dark Tower II: The Drawing of the Three (1987) • The Tommyknockers (1988) • Dark Visions (cowritten with George R. R. Martin and Dan Simmons) (1988) • The Dark Half (1989) • Dolan's Cadillac (1989) • My Pretty Pony (1989) • The Stand: The Complete & Uncut Edition (1990) • Four Past Midnight (stories) (1990) • Needful Things (1990) • The Dark Tower III: The Waste Lands (1991) • Gerald's Game (1992) • Dolores Claiborne (1993) • Nightmares & Dreamscapes (stories) (1993) • Insomnia (1994) • Rose Madder (1995) • Umney's Last Case (1995) • The Green Mile (1996) • Desperation (1996) • The Regulators (as Richard Bachman) (1996) • Six Stories (stories) (1997) • The Dark Tower IV: Wizard and Glass (1997) • Bag of Bones (1998) • The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon (1999) • The New Lieutenant's Rap (1999) • Hearts in Atlantis (1999) • Dreamcatcher (2001) • Black House (sequel to The Talisman; written with Peter Straub) (2001) • From a Buick 8 (2002) • Everything's Eventual: 14 Dark Tales (stories) (2002) • The Dark Tower I: The Gunslinger (revised edition) (2003) • The Dark Tower V: Wolves of the Calla (2003) • The Dark Tower VI: Song of Susannah (2004) • The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower (2004) • The Colorado Kid (2005) Cell (2006) • Lisey's Story (2006) Non-fiction: • Danse Macabre (1981) • 1988 Nightmares in the Sky (1988) • 2000 On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft (2000) • 2005 Faithful: Two Diehard Boston Red Sox Fans Chronicle the Historic 2004 Season (cowritten with Stewart O'Nan) (2005) Original ebooks: Riding the Bullet (2000) • The Plant: Book 1-Zenith Rising (2000) Audio Recordings Audiobooks: L.T.'s Theory of Pets • Blood and Smoke (2000) • Stationary Bike (2006)
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