CappyHAG's blog: "lost love"

I wanted to share my happiness with you today-

but I couldn't because we've pushed each other away.

I wanted to give you a hug, a kiss, to hold you tight-

but I couldn't; I was afraid it would feel too right.

I wanted to whisper "I love you" in your ear,

beg you to stay and hold you near,

but we're not a couple anymore.

We're just two people who used to love before.

Before the drinking took you away,

before the anger and hate caused my heart to decay.

We were part of something great, a couple who said forever,

now we're better and defiant saying never.

You ask me if you can come home for awhile, but we don't have a home.

I wanted to say yes, but I become too worrisome.

You think that my lack of tears signals a lack of heart,

but I'm afraid if I cry that I'll just fall apart.

And all the kings horses and all the kings men,

will never get the pieces of my heart and soul back together again.

So I put a smile on my face and start my day;

There's work, housework, kids, baby and play.

I don't want to think about it, to make it real.

I just want to block it out so I won't feel.