blazintommyd's blog: "LOVE and LUST"

My policy in regard to lounges is based on the following blog lQQk with emphasis on the following:

Lounge Rules #9:

"Nudity on cam is permitted provided the lounge is Invite Only, has [NSFW] in its lounge name and (if applicable) the cams are to be Password Protected (Please Note the Password cannot be listed in the lounge or on any members pages, also note the more you (the Owner/Staff) allow, the more secure that particular lounge should be)".

So if anyone has a lounge(s) like this then please invite me. I Love being naked on cam and for that matter naked period. I'm always respectful.

The best alternative to my hand is a mouth or pussy - maybe a mouth because they seem to be easier to care for, depending on one's diet? That is an unresolved question with me and an important one because I have had problems using pussy as an alternative to my hand and really don't like condoms at all.

I've had problems with my cock, most recently with what seems to be "contact dermatitus" of the glans - viz., the head of my cock.

One part of this problem has been resolved by using "Firefly Organics" instead of my previous glycerin based lubes. I no longer get shiny raised placques which are commonly diagnosed as psoriasis. Apparently what happens is I get horny and look for images or preferably interactive emotions to devote my sacrament to - i.e., make a load of cum and shoot to. If in the rare case it's someone I have Loving feelings for, it never works because they're usually just someone that's conning me into believing I Love them in order to get money from me. There may have been one exception to this but in further analysis I doubt it.

I think women experience the same or similar thing I'm describing here, but because any alternative seems so difficult for them, they get used to it and just say O fuck it, it's too difficult I'll succumb to the roles society forces me into so gimme the fucking money bitch, I need that security before I can get into putting out for you.

So, ironically, I usually Do Love them (the very few I've felt this with) because I Love Love. The problem is they don't Love me and don't try to because they're too distracted by and with money/security hunting. Consequently I end up abusing my cock trying to make it cum where there is no reciprocal emotion and no mutual Love. This does make sense with the diagnosis - acute contact dermatitus - viz., I did this so long and with the wrong lubes that when the glans becomes reabused the raised placques begin to reappear in the original places; but it might also be something else such as lichen planus (the origin of which is not known) or even tuberculoid leprosy.

Conservatives have made every malady of a sex organ seem to be a punishment from God so the American medical industry seems reluctant to treat such disorders or even pay serious attention to them. Surely some major drug company will develop something that makes an impression on Wall Street, this will inspire doctors to invest in them and thus prescribe them and in the meantime the usual remedy is corticosteroid in a base (from one of the two main elements of American chemistry/pharmacology) glycerin/alcohol (from grain/vegetable) or petroleum distillate (a bi-product of gasoline refinement). Here justy slather some a this on there boy pray to the Lord Jesus Christ and enter into monogamous Heterosexual bondage

The fact of the matter is, that no matter how carefully I attempt to jerk off, I always end up hurting my cock, either with a lube that immediately results in irritation to the urethra and/or eventual irritation to the glans; and occasionally the shaft and even scrotum. And because of the lack of Love reciprocity &c, I end up squeezing it to compensate for the un turned on numbness and end up hurting the urethra. But to a lesser or different degree irritation has resulted from regular pussy fucking too; which seems to depend on how well the pussy and even cock is cared for and maintained. But if having a good piss is to be the determining factor, it seems to work best when there is no sex and no stroking or even touching at all albeit a swelled urethra is less the case with bare back pussy fucking and so few women will be eager and will enjoy and sincerely want to take a load of cum in their mouth.

So this situation creates a problem because (1) I get horny and (2) the cheapest way to deal with it, is the less effective, - i.e., jerking off - and in some ways the most harmful. It's as if the Conservatives have cornered the market on orgasm but now at least the Homosexuals in some States (since the South won the Civil War with the election of Jimmy Cracker) have secured an alternative. So now instead of one female unit being the solution to my horniness maybe it's one person's mouth. And as sad as this may seem this is my predicament. If I end up having sex with you chances are I'll be using you as a sex object - and I am neurotically fussy, so the plus is, if we get along together and you can put up with me and my anti-monogamous disposition ...

So nowadays I sincerely believe that the present solution to what I've described is polyamory, rather than swinging. As far as I know I do not have HPV (there is presently no test for men) nor genital Herpes - although I do get a sore on my upper lip once or twice a year (usually in February) and it seems that HPV in particular is quite common and apparently moreso now than Herpes so if I pursued a Swing sex style or even 'dating' I'd probably end up with one or the other or both.

The problem with all of this is that America seems to be brainwashed into slamming all psychological doors on anything other than monogamy and/or monogamous "cheating" so even if I resolve myself to the fact that I'm polyamorous and could get my wife to accept this: chances are, that if I even found someone else I have sincere Loving feelings for and truly want to fuck, again, they're going to want monogamy from me - i.e., leave your wife (read the fine print - for me).

So it is a truly fucked up situation and Not my fault and not only my problem but I believe many others' as well.

And as I have said before I sincerely believe that these situations lead to prostate cancer and maybe even cock cancer from masturbation alone but they also lead to other sexual diseases too because it forces people who need this freedom to end up fucking people they really don't want to be fucking and to me That is a far greater sin than fucking up some Anthony Comstock wet dream regarding Heterosexual Patriarchy and female monogamy.

In the midst of my 56th year I have accepted my sexual reality and feel comfortably accomplished about it. These are the two material elements:

(1) If women are absolutely free then no man on earth could keep up with any woman sexually. If you're a man and think you can, knock yourself out

(2) There is no conceivable way I could ever have the ultimate woman/women of my dreams and expect that I could ever be enough for her sexually, so she could have any other men or women she would like or need

But there are problems:

(1) Most women won't go for this because they're far more interested in money than sex and since I have no money of my own then it would take an extraordinary woman to (a) be able to have any man she could get but (b) still want me. Consequently, most women will walk away from the appreciation and exploitation of my sexual reality thinking there's someone on the other side of the hill, with money; and maybe it's even someone like me.

The problem there IMHO is that women mistake money for security whereas I would think of security as - well I can go about and dally with any men I want and if they abuse, mistreat and reject me I will always have tommy to go back to. To walk away from that seems really strange - it's like women have so long emulated the male roles of Heterosexual Patriarchy that they've developed a mutation - for lack of a better word - of female Machismo - e.g., O dear I could never do anything like that with a "real man" only with a fag - viz., the fag hag fad.

(2) Women are spoiled by hungry Heterosexual men and have developed this idea of - it's ok for women to be players as long as they're single but once a man becomes interested they expect him to assume unconditional premarital monogamy or as a variant - I don't get 'involved' with married men. I think this can be defeated in most cases if men would just accept what I have accepted and learn to appreciate a woman that will give you pleasure regardless of whomsoever else she does the same things with or to. In fact her ability to do that makes her sexuality with you better.

And if in turn she can accept the fact that you might meet another like her and just do a sperm of the moment thing either in the flesh or online then what more could you want really

One of the scenarios I rather enjoy thinking about is a wonderful woman who is everything I could ever want physically and I enjoy being with her, too but she genuinely needs male attention from others. Now there is some theory or science that purports that when men compete for the same woman their cock grows !! their cocks get harder, fully engorged with blood and ready to explode, throbbing, you can visually see their pulse pumping and driving their wonderfully curved plum headed cock up and down with a dramatic stream of pre cum oozing and drooling down the shafts. Why you could practically heat a room with that wonderful thing. And the head look so nice to suck on and feel against your lips and tongue. Well imagine you as a sexually high woman, totally naked and surrounded by several of those - as many as you want really - and all of them getting larger and more engorged and drooling wanting you. Each one ready, surely there's enough so that each of them could cum and before the last one did you'd get your nut too. Trembling, out of your mind with lust, love or whatever the fuck it is and cumming sooo gotdam good

Now to me? That turns me on. It makes me feel free. I would Love to see a Goddess I Love and Adore enjoying herself in that way or even imagining it. I would savor every moment of her nakedness and watching her fuck IF she could handle it. Enjoy it and feel fucking awesome about it later

The trouble is most women can get into that kind of fantasy, but could never do it whether they wanted to or not primarily because of sexual repression (1) Their husband or boy friend would beat them up (2) society would brandish them as a filthy whore or (3) tommy wtf is the matter with you why aren't you competing for my pussy !!

[I'm excepted from the competition but you still want me anyway].

(3) Many women knuckle under and accept Heterosexual Patriarchy - it's like trying to out trick the Devil - and as an immediate consequence, human evolution stalls - e.g., doctors don't know how to treat sexual diseases and they persist because we have to choose unsavory characters to have sex with because Conservatives won't allow us and society to know and understand how to properly take care of ourselves to avoid and breed sexual disease, both mental and physical, out of existence.

So unless i meet someone really extraordinary, i keep it online. Let's play :)

This is something that all, sexually functional men, ought to know about

All women have the power to make your cock magnificently hard, ozing pre cum and make you feel like they're the only woman you'll ever need; ironically very few of those women exercising such power can actually use it to make you cum

In my view, this is a willful, intentional and malicious abuse of Goddess power that woman do exercise over men for the primary purpose of money; and I further believe that it's a contributing factor to prostate cancer, other maladies of the cock and male depression.

The way this works is by the aspiration of every sexually functional man, to devote his cum to something and him needing that something to want it. This is the chief reason men will 'cum for you on cam' because it is an intimate act of him showing you his pride and joy naked and exposed and you be willing to watch creates the impression in his mind that his devotion of cum is to and for you.

Obviously this is primarily a mental function assisted by his own self stimulus and you just being cool.

I personally enjoy doing this but utilize my own power in several ways (1) Having a Goddess image whom ultimately will use me in the same manner c2c, with Love and friendship or (2) randomly, with women urging the cum out of me and/or any men willing to cum for her. On AFF for example the typical woman will have at least 1000 men at any given time simultaneously shooting cum for her, many of those doing so on cam; but in any event, the ultimate factor is that they want your cum - and this is the most important of all factors - is that want of your cum genuine or is it an act?

If it's an act then you will have to make yourself cum but if it's genuine then cumming will be irrresistible.

Ultimately it is the reciprocal, want, and action upon that want, that makes both cum - that is - the woman seeing that the man is wanting to devote his cum to her, arouses and excites her, and her being aroused and excited and wanting it more and more eventually leads them both to orgasmic bliss. The only exception is that self stimulus and the number of random people over time, conjoined with the sense of Liberation, will eventually create a similar result.

For men, the random approach is probably the closest thing to being gang banged

Patriarchs have attributed this phenomenon of male orgasm to the animalistic urge to procreate and there is probably some truth to that since only the man has to cum in order to make the woman pregnant; but others having a scientific background will also tell you that sex is indeed mental, that a person gets turned on - i.e., hard and ozing pre cum or wet and wanting to cum - from something that happens in their mind, which is connected to their sexual interface - i.e., the frenum of their cock or the clit hood at 2 o'clock.

So if both persons are willing and understand then both will have an effortless orgasm or more with Loving feelings and hopefully friendship afterwards.

In my case, I have done this for so long that a 3rd factor has devloped which is a sort of sexual intuition.

I can sense when a woman is a fake - that is - she's only using the power to get me obsessed and addicted to her so that I'll pay her to continue; or possibly that she's some sort of psychopath seeking to hurt men because a man hurt them in the past. Most hustlers using this power, for money, will be less direct than 'give me the money bitch' - they'll want you "to help" them - e.g., pay their rent, phone bill, O dear he was sending me money Western Union I'll pay you right back when it comes but I need money right now and so hate to ask; and it's easy for men to fall for this too because of the social roles that men have created for themselves - e.g., can't get a hard on? Not to worry just give her cash she'll be just as happy; be a "real man", give her money. And now a days, after decades of Christian Conservatism, it seems that paying for it is the only way to have Heterosexual action, whether it's a $1000.00 "escort", a $2.00 a minute cam whore; or you're just "dating" via on line - minimum requirements: car, gas money, clothes, money for dinner and drinks, money for a motel room and probably a "help me" fee at the end of the night or else keep paying until I decide to let you marry me or move in; which is the same thing but plays into the monogamy trick too.

"If you're so unhappy why don't you get a job" - i.e., that way you can purchase your pleasure.

If the woman is for real and when your cock is throbbing hard, drooling precum and you're tingling all over - tell her that, ask her to help you cum and if it's effortless, she's real, if you have to make yourself cum, she's a fake. In short, and at least for men, if a woman makes your cock so hard and big that it doesn't even look like your own, feels wonderful and drools pre cum at the mere thought of her, but she never makes you cum, and you have to do that yourself -e.g., by rubbing fast and hard or fucking in a similar manner - then that means they're not interested in your jizz; you're being played as a trick and chances are close to 100% that the reason is money.

Other ancillary factors are that most women forestall this power, which is apparently a function of monogamy - e.g., the whore only turns it on for her husband or boyfriend, her tricks have to cum themselves but if she's got a nice pussy and knows how to use it, with some nice and very pleasant assisting moves, it's better than a hand and because Conservatism makes sex practically impossible in any other way, men pay for it, which in turn encourages and provides for an endless supply of whores.

Welcome to Conservative America

COCK BLOCK

Everyone experiences it, to one degree, extent or the other. I'll be cruising cams on AFF (the best place on earth to cam) come across an awesome couple or a solo woman that's doing the same as me - looking for nice people to raise sexual energy with and ride it until cumming is absolute bliss, irresistible, the drug of sex and cum fills every cell and explodes into a universe of ecstasy and groove on the aftermath for a long and wonderful time too; and in the process of all this stroking my cock to 5, 6 maybe more cams until finally round and round and round we go ... and then the perfect combo for rivers of pumping orgasmic bliss. Melting into oceans of AFF orgasms and everyone that's free enough melds into one.

What a fabulous thing; and then this goes on for a while everything is groovy a new lease on life and then one day, out of nowhere ... Boom !! OMGoddess there is now no need for anyone else. I need to devote my Holy Sacrament to Her and everything else and everyone else just blurs, fades and dissolves into the eternal earthly existence. Angelic cherubs anoint the tenderest and most delightful points and switches on my cock with ethereal oils and precious emolients from heaven; the mere thought throughout the day, a memory, a desire, like a talisman from eternal bliss issues forth from the black infinity of my mind charging my Chi and delightfully plumping my cock as my heart soars; what a fucking rush; but then one day, maybe it's biological (an ex swears it is) I'm just plain horny and she's not around, so where are my old friends, here's one but nothing is happening, am I going impotent, here's another and another, but no one else will do and then suddenly, it dawns on you ... Cock Block.

A woman friend of mine started dating a man and began feeling like maybe she could have a regular relationship with him but then suddenly she met someone else and the attraction was so strong overwhelming and powerful they got totally naked and had sex; and for her afterwards it was like Wow and essentially the same thing as described above - everything else just blurs, fades and dissolves into eternal earthly existence and then her cell phone rings. It's the other guy and the mysterious greater forces that be moves up the faders to mix in BB King from the background ... cock block

So I was on the verge of being 100% convinced that the whole thing is psychological; but now I'm almost 100% convinced that it is psychological, but only for women; because in discussing this with her over the course of several hours, exchanging videos, pix, mush talk and stories i had one of the most fabulous orgasms ever. I just felt the need to cum for her, she asked me to and I did. But for men, it's biological too. Heterosexual Patriarchy imposes this enormous guilt upon women. It's always the woman's fault. Even Led Zepplin and Courtney Love work for the whole schlemiel "woman's soul comes from below"? You fucking whore !! how could you do that "to me". What are my friends going to think, how can I face them when it's time for us to stand around the bon fire drinking beer and playing with our PPs while we neglect you !!

Well how the fuck could you do all of that to yourself; but women don't often say that because men will start beating on them, knocking them around physically and verbally abusing them, tearing them down, destroying their self confidence and essentially making them feel like shit and society still tolerates that sort of sadistic male mental moronacy. They even have web sites for it !! now we know where all of the Conservatives hang out.

And what all of this really comes down to is this - I'll be tender with you darling i understand that while I can screw hundreds of men you shoot once and it's all over for baby.

And because of social Patriarchal male ownership of women and man's tolerance and social support groups for abusing females it becomes an art form for women to survive in a man's world - how do I tell this Heterosexual Biblical Beast (HBB is the new anacronym) without him feeling like OMG I'm a fag, no virility, I'll never be a porn star, it's my cock, it's too small, &c &c Send him to a Japanese Geisha House I guess; better help out with those reactors guys, your last best hope might be sinking like Atlantis.

But fear not men; so far I'm still one of you. the American medical association hasn't gutted me yet and my penile sexual interface is still attached and functioning, although it takes a while to get it going sometimes

Sex is Love. There is no sex without Love. So are there really two kinds of orgasms? Lust, Physical beauty, Imagination of sensual pleasure.

Was it learned, imposed that I require an object to devote the product of my orgasm to? Empirically, intuitively, it becomes a sacred sacrament. The reward, it's intensity. The depth of pleasure is Loves efficacy. But not for the point of climax, alone, for that purpose I create a memory profound; and rather than one to be forgotten, one to be reveled in, revisited wanting it deeper with greater intensity and clarity. An incorporeal talisman by rite of devotion. To Love, to Lust and to the memory and thought of this object, now pleasantly plumping my cock.

She's turning me onto Life

Thinking of her while facing her direction. She comes to me, into my arms, looking into her face her eyes, her arms around my shoulders, her hands on the back of my neck, she controls me, but relents to me, exuding her Love into my heart, caressing her ass feeling our nakedness feeling our Love

Picturing us fucking vividly, yet not feeling it.

She lusted for me somehow while my desire was more. And by this conflict of omission the foregoing is all that remains. It seems easy for her to ignore me. Perhaps,this is her devotion, that I may freely invoke her, to have this wonderful sensation, but now pleasing only to my heart, and without the pleasure of cumming to and for her, or without her want and acceptance it remains an unrequited Love whether I forced myself to cum or not

Now there are two women. 

The other I found by chance and she is all I could ever want physically. Especially her legs and feet, but all of the rest of her too. I adore her. Cumming to her beauty is effortless and wonderful. I've done so twice. The more I adore her and express this, the greater the reward to my cock. I think of her and every pleasure and sensation capable is sharpened, deepened and more intense. Taking me deeper into pleasure deeper into my want to make my devotion to her and for her acceptance.

To me my Goddess and for other men to adore at her pleasure

Society has wronged us by turning Love into taboo. Love is pleasure. I need to Love her too. But the idea evolved long ago that there can ony be one Love; as if Love became a business by contract; anything that defies it must surely be sin must surely be Lust

And those of us that Lust for this pleasure of Love, either Love without knowing but always suspecting like not quite cumming or not quite going all the way; or worse to adopt the allusion that there is sex without Love; emulating such ideal, deadened of pleasurable sensations, like riding on a train without windows, frantically rubbing for the destination, or fucking like beasts, imparting pain to feel anything, instead of nothing at all.

So i dare to defy, so that Love and Lust shall burn in my heart forever, to forever nourish my cock; and at my pleasure that I may polish this sacred talisman, to savor it's precious reward, it's pleasure, the true power and force of Life - will is the only ideal above Her.