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I have never felt so pure inside

until i met you

at first you didnt see me

the way i looked at you

There was a place in me that was missing

In my heart, a place reserved for you.

Now our hearts have united.

I need you to know, that i love you so.

A kind of love ive never felt before.

You are my comfort, the only one i adore.I love you for everything you are

dont you dare change a thing

your eyes, your mind, the way you speak, your shine.

Through my weary soul.For as long as I am breathing me and you shall stay, together this way.

Never doubt our love.We were meant to be.I wish I could hold you tight in my arms..you are my angel cant you see?

there is nothing I would not do for you

your love is a precious gift. You are there, when I am down giving me a extra lift.

ok i wrote this before i became a "true" christian

and is good to read it and see how much of a different person i have become

You say your god has done so much for you

you speak of how he changed your life

well he has given me dirt

and place on this forbidden earth

but everything else has been lost in time

everyday that passes by

is a day that i feel further away from where it is that i stand

I dont think

I  dont know why I praise you when something good comes my way

you always come along and take it all away

you say I may fall

but where I land

is 10 thousands steps away to a new and brighter day

Forever walking with no place to go
Wish you had some stuff and somebody to show
You find yourself sitting on a bridge alone
Trying to remember how to get back home…. 15 years ago

Modern day Jesus was the man I speak about
The only thing he needed never ran out
No bills to pay no worries except for the rain
You can’t lose something if you never had it 
In his life there was nothing to gain

This man had nothing but love to give
A little wine some fruit of the vine……. a little beer
No worries because he had nowhere to steer
The only way he knew how to live

Everyday he celebrated the Cana of Galilee Wedding 
Making wine on nothing but a dime
At night he would lay down and dream on his cardboard bedding

If people saw Jesus they would walk right past him
Just like most people who looked at this man
They would not dare to shake his hand
Dirty clothes and dirty feet
Spent his time with bums on the street

The man I speak about still walks around
But now he is walking far from the ground
He went to sleep and never woke up
But his spirit still remains all over town

my dad

R.I.P

my dad was homeless for almost all of his life.He died in his sleep in awarm bed....i miss you dad and i cant wait to see you again

I need a place where i can just breathe where I can just get away from you and the day.

 I need a time where i can end this all and save myself from you and your all.

 I'm dying to live, living then dying and I'm almost dead.

 They teach me what they tell you, I cut myself to feed the fake.

 Now please dont you mistake my mind.Leave it here with you behind the wall of the great divine.

And you say I have these demons and i say no i dont.

And you say I have these addictions let go of them no i wont.

you say i have these problems and you care.

You say im running but im two steps behind you

You say I have nothing left but where does that leave you.

You say you are so pure inside but there is a tiny piece of you that your always trying to hide

I can see through your heart of glass

Why am I always having to feel this wish i could put it in the past.

Now my true feelings have started to show

now I just have one more question

my last rude remark

why do you pretned to be so real and perfect and alive

even though you and I both know you arent.

I wanted to be something more than you

I wanted to feel alive..i need to feel alive

but this is all i know and i'm so affraid to show

not ready to let this go

is this all i owe to you?

its been so long since I felt real

and I'm so afrraid to let you feel

and now my heart needs to heal

I'm letting you see

this is the in perfect me

there is no changing around

a new life Ive been bound.

I'm wondering did you take it to heart?

I never knew this would reach this far

now I'm sinking fast into an ocean full of you

I never felt so dirty before

and now my heart is lying alone beating on the floor

all i can see is how im dying without it

dying inside

are love is lost because you lied

and now I'm not so sure

I want to spend the rest of my god damn life

living so unpure

you have posioned me

and left me here to die

now I must be alone affraid to love

I wonder why

I need to know

I want to be clean from you

I must shed my skin

do not leave me here alone

my veins are running thin

thick and blue

a milion times you have spit on me

I have failed

and let you win

you have consumed my lungs

I sleep because i cannot catch my breath

everything around me seems to be running

my body is floating away

my eyes are all thats left of me

I can see what you love has done to me

you are polluting my blood

as i let you swim through me

as I look in the mirror

I see my eyes they look like dead

I feel like I'm far away

looking into a fire blaze

everything is a blurry grey

my fingers are moving my skin feels weak

my addictions they wont go away

you tease my mind

life me and my problems and take them away

your gone now

I have inhaled the last of you

are realtionship has ened now its through

i have used you for all your worth

now i must sleep again rise and use you another day

you

me

we seem to never agree

love

with you

my mind runs free

life

so much easier with you near

that you want to hurt me is something that is hard for me to hear

you turned into this broken heart

your words

you speak

you sing

I think of you when we are so far

sometimes I give the wrong expressions

which  makes you wonder

and gives you the wrong impression

oh tonight

I want to shed one tear of regret

I didnt when you were near

I get so nervous

i can feel my pores sweat

When i sleep through my dreams

Ill see

you dont know me

please dont speak my name so freely

speak my name

dont kiss my soft skin

it wont feel quite the same

I need to get out of this strain

the pure mark of the pain

burned into my holy chest

the wind just whipsers prayers

into my head

as i lay curled up on my bed

trying, dieing for the rest

pieces of us often die everyday

as if the good parts turn dark

then fall as we did from heaven

where did my angels go?

things arent the same

everythign moves so slow

peoples tongues are polluting the clean world

when i was young

just a little girl

I wanted to sing happy things

I wanted all the things

love could bring

now ive seen the colors of the world

and I have many sad things to sing

many sad tihings to bring

broken are the words you throw at me

heartless and cold

my hands start to go numb

I'm all alone here

existing in the world

the air that surronds me

I take a deep breath and i inhale in all the sickness you spread

who am I

what do I do

here are my choices

they are all laid out for me

I feel so old

stress has aged me

Is this me?

no

its an infected reflection of me

I'm torn

I'm scared

and I'm all alone

just me and my mirror