Cyber Jesus's blog: "Life"

she questions why? why me? she looks for answers but none ever seen to come to her, searching her face she seeks for a clue as why her, but it is a question that will not be answered, for she can search her eyes and tell there isn’t any reason, she turns and he is there ready to take her into his arms and hold her, stilling her fears and tears, and she knows it will be Ok, he will make it all seem worth while

What would you see? What would you see if for a day, you were to look at yourself through a strangers eyes? What would you see, of your life? Would they see a life full of promise, a life full of happiness? Would it be a life that has meaning? One that show a person that you would want to befriend, a person that other look upon with admiration and respect, or one that they silently laugh and think, why? Would you see with another’s eyes the person you think you are, and wish you could be? Would you look at yourself and say I am happy that’s me? Would you see one who loves and cares for others, whom is needed and wanted by many or few. Would you see one that is lost and lonely and wanting for more? Would you se one that treats family with love and kindness, or one that only cares for themselves. How would you see yourself day to day? How would you see yourself and in what way? What would you see, when you look into your own eyes, a mirror that reflects a life you want, or one that reflect a world that is cold and gray. What would you see, if you were me?

as she sits and stares at her reflection, she wonders where the innocent times went, the times when she could smile all the time, and feel joy at everything before her.. She stares into a face that has become almost a stranger to her, changed beyond what she remembers, changing still with time... She looks into the eyes that she knows so well, gazing forever back at her and thinks of who she will become, and what she will see in them for time to come. a little girl trapped forever in the eyes of a woman

She sits and stares ahead of her, trying not to think of the words being said to her. The voice continues to break into her dreams, pushing deeper and deeper until she can no longer hide, Why her? What could she have done to deserve this? She gives and gives, always checking, always planning, why does it continue? She belives it can change, things must get better. She thinks back and remembers at time when everything was new and the words caused no pain. The touch was light and gentle the kisses sweet and plenty, when did it change? She dreams of being better, making him happy, doing all she can to please him. A door closing brings her back to now, her heart races, her face flushes, not for reasons of passion, but of fear. As the sounds of steps move toward her, she begins to cry, knowing the pain is but steps away. She feels a hand touch her, she flinch's away. Her mind screaming please no more. She opens her eyes to him, dark streaks forming on white cheeks, he reaches for her again, this time she moves to him. The dream fades her eyes clear, he is here. She thought she would never love again, never feel a touch that wasnt in anger, or words that made her breath catch. He pulls her to him, whispering in her ear, its ok baby, he is gone, I am here for you, I love you, and as she once again closes her eyes she knows she doesnt have to be afraid anymore, he will love her and hold her in his heart with every breath protect her from the dreams

I was not looking for you, how can you be looking for something that you have thought was not there to find. Something that just thinking about can bring a smile to your face, with a word can can open your mind, and with a tear can unlock your heart. Something that can make you wake and feel there is more to life. Someone that can make time stop, and once you realize that so much time has passed make you beg for more. This someone makes all things seem new and wonderful, giving unto you more than you feel you deserve. Mking you feel that anything you give in return will never equal the gifts they have to offer you. For this I willingly give unto you the gift of my heart.

There is something about her; I try to find the meaning in what effect she has on me, to no avail. My thoughts are filled of her, my dreams are fulfilled by her. Just knowing she is out there, waiting and going about her day, makes me smile. You ask who she is, for that you would have to know her as I know her. She is beauty undefined, when I say beauty it is not only that she is a vision, but that she has a way of making you listen and want more, wanting to feed the need for her that builds by the minute. She is an amazing woman, unlike any that have come before her, she is my dreams, my desire, and all I could ever ask for.

How many times have you thought "If only"? If only this would have happened, or if only I had done this instead. Most of us could ask this of ourselves many times in our lives. I find myself using it almost daily. If only I had made choices in my life different than the ones I have, what would be different, how would my life be now. It can make you think of many things, how many changes, would just one "if only" make. I mentally follow the line back to the start, making the changes one at a time, seeing how life would be and what I might have become. We can all have our dreams and make our wish's. Dreaming of life without the hardships we all endure or a life with people we have lost. In all the times I have questioned myself and asked "if only", I come to the same realization, I would lose too many of the things I hold most dearly in my life. Of these things my children, my grandchildren and most of all you, I would not want to lose. So the next time you ask yourself "if only", think of your life as it is, and what it would be like without the ones you hold so dear.