DJ Lister RLM2 TheGypsyVampiress's blog: "Life the Universe and almost everything"

In life we try many times to live upto other peoples expectations no matter how hard they are to achieve, we have hope in our hearts that we will lead a good life and that people may remember us as such, my expectations have always remained the same i know that at some point my life will change, i know this because its happening now, things are starting to move, people are starting to come back and generally things couldn't be much better on a mental scale, these blogs are more about me unbottling my emotions than a serious look at life but there personal experiances that im trying to share, im reaching the peak of what i call progress in my mind, i wanted to marry and im sad that now that no longer seems to be happening, but happy that im still 29 and a whole future of events lies infront of me, i applyed to a soup kitchen today to help out, being told im selfish and whining today made me think twice about somethings, my immense care for the people who matter does lead me to be over sympathetic and pushy towards certain issues, i like to know where i stand and regularly too, if im too critical then i risk backlashes, if im too honest the same happens, so my expectations were always low, but i've seen something today i saw clearly what i was doing for the 1st time in 3 years, i gave my heart away on a plate, and it was taken by someone who i still will care for however much they decide theyre going to hate me, because i want to be with her all the time i want to be in her life and be a part of it, i went on about not talking to her, well it crucifies me when it happens, im not saying oh she should change how she is for me because thats what i want, far from it, what i am saying is that i care so much that it hurts when i spend one day away from her voice and her love, i feel like i've failed, and the constant need to talk dwells from the fact that i want to put right whatever i made wrong, i want what is best for her i always have, and i was kind of brought around to the idea that it might be best to call it a day, we've tried for so long to make it happen and the last thing i want is hate, and its so near now that im scared that the next email or Instant message will be the last i ever get, she says she's done with me, my whining and crying, my depression, well im not depressed im looking forward to the future whatever it may hold, i wish it was with Jenny, but if its not im sure it will hold its own intrests and its future loves, but i love Jenny, i just wish she could feel how much i do..... :) Love to all :) Simon

this was going to be the previous blog but i found it easier to talk about depression at the time, Cannabis what can i say that thousands of stoners haven't already said, but can you honestly say that it's good for you, that it gives you what your looking for, yes it can chill the mind and relax an overactive brain, but it can give you mental problems that are all to easy to see, 90% of the people i know take cannabis, and there all paranoid, and for the most part isolated and depressed, at one time i was stuffing about as much cocaine up my nose as keith richards when i stopped doing it when i moved upto scotland, but cannabis was rife and it stopped me going into cocaine when i got back but i smoked lbs of the stuff over the years, and slowly i came to the conclusion it was fucking me up more than the cocaine and i've slowly stopped, yes i'll still have the occasional one when life gets hard and i know i shouldn't, but my early teenage life upto my 20's were filled in a rock and roll lifestyle, its easy to say kids don't do drugs but peer pressure and easy avadability makes it hard to say no, and some places around here you would be almost killed for saying no, the choice is yes like it or die, i know i was one of them people who sold them im not proud of what i did, and im certainly not going to go back to doing it, but i know from experiance its the root cause to many of the issues i have now, but them days are long past and this is a warning to others drugs will ruin your life and everyones around you eventually, just remember one thing, your body is the only one you've got, if you abuse it it'll abuse you :) Love to all :) Simon

we move on to beauty health and psychic in our quest for life the universe and everything, but this is more really about how money affects the average human, i read a forum post before, it was a laugh 9 of every 10 american would ask a psychic about money over love. well yes there american just kidding, but the choices were health or great sex, well there all relative to where you live, if i was an ethiopian i would be unhealthy as far as the WHO (world health org) was concerned but because of a low life expectancy rate and the human instinct to survive my sex life would be quite good, if not interjected with the strong possibility i might catch some STD, and more likely AIDs if i as they say "Put it about abit" as for money well we've sent millions to africa, most of it has ended up in the hands of arms dealers and traffikeers in all sorts of goods and services, but on the other hand there are 450lb (30stone) 60 year olds who fill the whole row on an airplane when they sit down, there married have kids, and again there about as healthy as a deep fried cheeseburger, with extra grease, so again health is relative, because they say "good health until you die" well even in bad shape you die when your health fails, so theres no real point to worrying about it, its what you feel happy with and if you can let other peoples thoughts about your weight shape and size however small or big you may be, just wash over you, it would be a more healthy state of affairs, as for good sex well, if you were to actually find out you were having good sex you would have to have sex with a target scientific specimen of between 5000 and 10,000 people and your partner would have to do the same, a survey would be conducted and when complete the results would be handed to you, so in all honesty what you should do is take the cash, buy a prostitute and hire a personal trainer then you get the best of both worlds, so in a real illogical way 9 out of 10 americans have it right... you never talked about psychic i hear you cry, well hold on to your nipples ffs, i talk about this because people like to think there spiritual and that entitles them to a higher standed of life, if you can read a few cards, scry a few images or predict the fortunes of another in anyway, if your going to a tarot reader for example you might ask will my fortunes change and will i get money, no you won't i can tell you that without lifting a card because your not thinking in the right way, love is all about how you ask a question for example if you ask, will i find someone in the next few months, again without turning a card i know the answer is no, see psychic and spirituality readings as such 90% can be done without even turning a card, and the other 10% by the time i've turned the 3rd, people ask me why im so accurate sometimes when i give them a card reading, and this is why, i've played alot of Chess in my time, i like to work things out in my mind in a flow chart pattern that everything i think about pertains to some other information i have stored, so how does this work with tarot, ok i turn a card its the wheel of fortune the card not the gameshow, now i know from the simple fact there sat in front of me fortunes are not going well, not many people ask for help when everything is fine, so you have taken out 50% of the meaning of that card before you've even thought about it, now take into account the fact that 90% of people are asking questions the answer to is no, you have a 1 in 1.3 chance of hitting it spot on, now theres 72 cards in a standard tarot pack and nobody has ever defined the compleate meanings of the cards there all open to suggestion, take the wheel of fortune again, you could easily say if you go with the flow of life and let the wheel spin you will end up in 6 months where you want to be, and if after 6 months they go nothing has happend you point out they must have been fighting the wheel, you were spot on again, spirituality and psychic is all about giving good advice, but if you say your guided by Mathamatical probability in a universe made up of Mathematics you'll get funny looks and people thinking oh he doesn't believe in it, if you pertain to a spiritual guide it adds mystery and thoughts of ancient rituals to your head, lets be blunt here tarot was invented in the 19th century, its about as old as steam powered trains, but soothsaying and psychics have had a place in history for millenia, Julius Ceasar employed a soothsayer, as do many prominant politicians and world leaders today, the most famous of all nostradamus scryed into a copper bowl filled with water with the moon reflecting in the bowl, maybe he used mind altering drugs aswell, but as theres no real evidence for this who can say, his predictions were mainly based on what he saw and the positions of stars in the sky when certain events happened, so that when the stars line up again in that position the same kind of stuff must be happening, but his quatrains are so cryptic you could get them to mean anything, and people only say nostradamus predicted this after an event has taken place, spirituality is more than just predictions and spiritual guides, its about getting people to stand up for themselfs, but too many take away the god role to replace god with a spiritual guide or guidance through the cards or medium that they have selected, it should be about what all religion should be about, helping others to be the best they can be, and pointing at my last blog entry this involves compassion, just like Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, Spirituality and psychic is in the mind of the question asker, so for example you read your cards you want a certain card to come out, your trying to create a reading that you want to hear or see, Beauty is to me the ability to change fast, a quick thinking mind that challenges the way people think that questions the whole existance of everything; it goes something along the lines of i have problems, you have problems, i tell you mine you tell me yours and then we forget them for the rest of the month, whilst we talk about issues that involve more unthought processes, people try to figure me out and they always think they've got it, but they never have theres a few lines i want them to say one day, but they never do, the nearest people get is to say i love you, if its said with the right meaning its great if its not then your lying to yourself, what i want to hear is not going to be placed in a position like this, its an answer we all have in ourselfs just we never really look at it, it happened briefly in the 1960's with flower power, and if you can understand that message that was spread then your almost there, someone once said it to me early on in a relationship that i still keep in contact with, its my basis for the love i showed them, but as soon as it came it almost went again, but i know its there and until i see it again i will never be fully happy with where they are, although it is there life to lead i see a premier footballer playing in the minor leagues, ghandi had it in abundance, einstien had it, even lord byron had it but John Lennon is probably the person we remember most who tried to show the world what it was, even though ghandi was more successful, it takes a special person to choose it, because like the topic says were all to involved in Beauty, Health and Psychic, and forget about the other path that leads where in Buddhism Budda finally achieved, enlightenment, instead of listening to the cladestine melody of imagine by lennon, read the lyrics, and try to understand what he's saying, that is a sense of enlightenment that he found :) Love to all Simon :)

Strange title for any blog, Life the universe and almost everything. Also your probably wondering what assumption & compassion is all about. Well alow me to explain. People need to hear compassion and they assume there going to receive it. This is how a capitalistic natured people perceive there existance on the world, gone is the I think therefore I am. To be replaced with I See you therfore you know I exist. The fundemental differences between these two comments are small at first, but lead to the change that has taken place in modern society. For example I have a minor problem this could be anything from a bad day at the office, you dropped something on your foot, anything which could possibly be solved by someone showing compassion. Now if thats the red corner of our life then the blue corner has to be, well my problems are greater than your problems so therefore as my problem is the bigger issue I will concentrate on that. But why arn't you with your problem, showing me compassion for what is obviously a bigger issue. But taking the boxing match analogy further, there has to be something to contain all the people that are fighting their corner as far as assuming compassion goes, and that is the people who show no compassion, no soul and no feeling for any problems that might arise, more commonly known as the I don't care. But this group of social misnomers will still come running to the corner of compassion when there time comes, and most are extreamly annoyed when they don't find it. So whats the secret of compassion, people would say give it where it is needed, but that doesn't satisfy the percentage of people who don't get it back who need the compassion to everyday problems. I've spent months analysing the way society now runs, how in our 80 year lifetimes we forget some of the basic principles of what were supposed to be doing here. Ten Thousand years ago man walked across a land bridge that connected Britain to Northern France. He walked in a Forest that ran almost uninterupted from Ireland to The Black Sea, following the game, hunting for food which ment they only ate if they killed that day or whilst the stores last. A normadic existance following the seasonal trackings of animals accross vast acreages of decidious forest, that since the end of the last ice age populated the European continent, and for that matter most of the northern hemisphere. It kind of takes out of context the problems of modern day humans and there ability to worry over minor problems, but they had compassion too, crouch burials occure in Europe througout the history of our existance there, we find the remains of objects that were buried alongside them, mainly in the hope they would too, past to the next existance, where they would join the deceased. It's in our nature to care about one another, we hunted in groups and we looked out for each other, and you only have to look at a protest on the Television to notice that Humans from all backgrounds can care about one issue so much, they are willing to gather together, in the hope that they can change a policy or an action another human has taken. Just look at loosing a close one how people gather around how the compassion towards the deceased and the immediate family can be seen, but look at a new born baby and the same thing happens, except the compassion is for the child and its parents, compassion is love for your counterparts, whatever there colour, race, religion, and even what they say has to be taken as a point of view that you haven't come to terms with, arguments usually happen people choose not to be compassionate but be aggressive, obviously you may think, or "no it happens when such a thing happens." Its just not conforming to your way of thinking, but its about how that thinking was influenced througout your life. A white anglo saxon British male, will think about life in a way a native indian in the Amazonian rain forest never could, and vice versa. Were brought up to beleve in certain morals and justices that have been imposed on us for centurys. Take the basic clothes that you are probably wearing now, to you it would be wrong and would get you locked up, if you went out without wearing them. Neverless there are plenty of people all over the planet that do there everyday buisness naked and never think about there lack of clothing. You might belive in a monothiestic supreme being, if your christian this would be god, same for the Jewish communitys, Muslims, Allah ect; but also including many other religions who believe in one "god". Missionary changed the way many south american countrys think and who they worshiped, all over the world missionarys have imposed there religion onto an idigiounous population who before the Monothiests arrived, were probably Polythiest and had as many gods as they had family members. Forever changing the traditions and values of familys througout the world. Now in 10,000 years we've changed from hunting game in the forests to hunting the forest for a gain, and not just forests with trees in, forests of humans, collectively thinking the same things. Compassion used for good can lead to cures for Cancer, encoding the human genome, even putting a human on mars in years to come, but too oftern the collective is thinking about problems that in an ideal world, need not worry them, I can be harsh and say "do i really need to worry about my friends who died or any of the people who died." What about the people still here. maybe if we could all laugh for 10 mins a day depression would be 50% lower as scientist tell us. I know there are bigger issues at stake around the world, global warming, global dimming, desalitation of the oceans, deforestisation, war, famine, and a multitude of very major, very current issues that are never as important as Dave from the pub owing you £20, or the latest in a long episode of depression that keeps repeating itself. For the best part of five centurys mankind has been converting the world to western morals, traditions and capitalistic way of life. Only now they've started to like what it gets you, now were saying ooops, sorry, yes you were right when we 1st came, just let us live with nature and not against nature, I walk down a beach 30 miles from where i live there is a sea wall protecting the coastline, but from what the coast will always be there just not in the place you drew the map 350 years ago, its a very small detail but thats the whole point of this blog what seems like a Assumptive small problem to you is a passionate and important issue for another, i would like people to see the planet and want to enjoy the world we live in free from restraints and work together to move into a period of time where we face concequences of previous actions, but if we do it together, we'll always be stronger, think of Compassion like Chaos theory in predicting weather cycles, Chaos tells us a bird flapping its wings in china could effect the weather in Spain, and however hard or unfeesable that seems to be to comprehend its the truth, and compassion is the same, you have 1st got to learn to receive compassion, we have to learn to listen, you then need to give compassion on however small a scale for whatever issue, and finaly when the compassion encompasses enough people, we can take on these major issues that plague our planet today, but if we keep pushing and assuming our compassion, then im sorry your no better than the people who changed the thinking of the world so many years ago, your the caveman looking around his cave saying "yeah i like this place" where as we could be the people looking at the horizon wondering what lies over the edge..... Learn to Love and respect no matter how trivial their problems may be and lets have Compassion we can Assume Love to all Simon xxxxxxxxxx