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A Favor from God

A man is walking along a California beach deep in prayer. Suddenly, the sky clouds over and God's voice booms out, 'Because you have been faithful to me, I will grant you one wish.' The man thinks for a while before answering, 'I would like you to build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want.' God replies...'Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormity of the undertaking. It will require a huge amount of manpower and materials. Plus, the ecological impact could be huge. I could not perform such a feat for such a materialistic task. Take a little more time and try to think of something that is less materialistic and will honour and glorify me.' The man considers this for a long time, before eventually answering, 'Lord, I wish I could understand my wife. How she feels inside, what she's thinking when she's silent. Why she cries, what she means when she says there's nothing wrong. Most of all, I want to know how I can make her truly happy.' Says God......'SO, JUST HOW MANY LANES WILL YOU WANT ON THAT BRIDGE?!

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." W O R D S A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men... The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?" CREATION A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. " The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee." The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee." Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me." So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the t op of several pages, that it indeed says.........."HEBREWS" The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He lef t it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up." Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

Kings and Queens

The world is filled with Kings and Queens who blind your eyes and steal your dreams.
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