Tonight is gonig to be the first night that I will not be able to say goodnight to my kids. To hold them tight and kiss them. In the morning I will wake up alone. I will come home for work and I wont be recieved with the sounds of my kids running arms open screaming daddy daddy. I dont know how people do it. How do you get by without the joy of life. Please if you have insight help me. My entire life I have waited for the opportunity to be a loving father and husband. I had it, now I fear it is gone. This is not me I am not this weak, Why now am I being a fool. I will miss it all, good and bad. I missed out on enough already. I'm sorry kids for failing you. I hope and pray that your mom will return and we can return to being the happy loving family I know we are. Your the best and I will miss you every day your gone. Zoe, Madison, dad loves you...sleep tight...*kisses*
