i am invisible
just words on a page
pages between the
lines
lines between the messages scrawled ...
bathroom stall
bar napkin
a phone number at
2AM
this is nonsensical ... as if
i could love
someone who gave me his number at 2AM when i came into the bar, looking for an easy love life without the soap opera drama & MTV. i was a wreck coming into this poet's lounge, this hearth of men with pockets full of strawberry condoms. i had on my plastic mask, the see through shield with the cut-out eyes, & it was meet, flirt, & bring home that night. It always worked out that way, & i never felt guilty, & neither did he. But this was a different game tonight, a poet's game tonight, a writer's way, one pen-stroke at a time, with scripted climaxes, & the conclusion is: i always win. i wouldn't leave this time with only a suggestion of a big penis, or a hard-thrusting technique that leaves me orgasmic & numb. The sex isn't what i'm looking for, he isn't what i'm looking for, the message, the line, the pages, the words, are not what i'm looking for...
i am invisible
just words on a page
pages between the
lines
lines between the messages scrawled
nameless
faceless
ninety-five pages of
text nailed against a heartless king's door
a complaint for a face
for an age & an image
of who
the who
& the who i am, like
me
myself... &
i am loveless, easy speak on a page without signatures, a sensation pressed on pale skin like a hot brand, an icon, a trace of tongue, a configuration of fingerprints smudged while writing on a wall with #2 pencil. It smears like lipstick on the collar, this piece of pansy, a vulnerable dream made pink with bleach & a vigorous spin cycle. i come out easily with toxic chemicals, antibiotics & Listerine. only faint breath remains, & an unconscious scent of sex forgotten, remembered in a pregnant mind. & now they ask me who the father is ...
this poem
he is this poem
[but]
i am invisible
just words on a page
pages between the
lines
lines between the messages scrawled
bathroom stall
bar napkin
a phone number at
2 AM
m