Maj's blog: "just random things"

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day. 2. Nice legs...what time do they open? 3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package. 4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more? 5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money? 6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you. 7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one? 8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight. 9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me. 10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter. 11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag. 12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked. 13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven? 14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. 15. Are those real? 16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy. 17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue. 18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning. 19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself. 20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me. 21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions? 2 2. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom? 23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor. 24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later. 25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again? 26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me. 27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute. 28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you. 29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to. 30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking? 31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public. 32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza? 33. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home without me. 34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I??? 35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them. 36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room. 37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes.

MORE REJECTED CHILDRENS BOOK TITLES: 1. Juggling Knives is Easy 2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven 3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things 4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want 5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase 6. 101 Games to Play in the Road 7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the Divingboard is the Flusher 8. Homemade Fireworks using a Bathtub,a Blowdryer,and a Fork 9. POP, goes the Hamster and other fun Microwave Games 10. Arthur Gets Hunted 11. Clifford and the Big and Yellow Semi 12. Monsters Killed Grandpa 13. The hit sequel to "Elvis is your real dad" Mrs.Clause is your real Mom 14. Chicken Poop for the Kid Soul 15. All Guns Squirt Water 16. When The Garbage Truck Came to Sesame Street 17. How Fun it is to Tie a Squirrel to a Kite 18. You Can Get Sucked Down the Drain 19. How to Make Sushi with Ordinary Goldfish 20. 101 recipies to make with Dog 21. If its Storming out the Best Place to keep shelter is under a tree 22. The New Boy is Bad 23. Your Nightmares are real 24. The Time When Elmer REALLY got Bugs 25. Scooby Doo Gets Rabbis 26. The Lion, the Steak, and the Blender 27. The Little Kitten that was too Curious..... 28. The Boy who was so Stupid that his Dad put him up for Adoption 29. Mickey Mouse and the Mouse Trap 30. Chuck E. Cheese and Cheddar get a Flamethrower 31. Grampa Gets A Casket 32. Dad's New Wife Robert 33. The Magical World Inside The Abandoned Refridgerator

Things Rednecks Will Never Say I'll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. Duct tape won't fix that. Honey, I think we should sell the pickup and buy a family sedan. Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken. We don't keep firearms in this house. Has anybody seen the sideburns trimmer? You can't feed that to the dog. I thought Graceland was tacky. No kids in the back of the pickup, it's just not safe. Wrestling's fake. Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace? We're vegetarians. Do you think my gut is too big? I'll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy. Honey, we don't need another dog. Who gives a crap who won the Civil War? Give me the small bag of pork rinds. Too many deer heads detract from the decor. Spittin' is such a nasty habit. I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today. Checkmate. She's too young to be wearing a bikini. Does the salad bar have bean sprouts? Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen. I don't have a favorite college team. Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side. You ALL. Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla. Nope, no more for me. I'm drivin' tonight. Taken from Daily Comix. I want the confederate flag down. (from Owen351) Let's move to the city! (from Owen351) That is enough children. (from Owen351) We have too many dogs! (from Owen351) I don't want to go huntin'. (from Musclman84) I'll take a root beer. (from FSUFAN89) My house doesn't have wheels. (from FSUFAN89) "You guys." (from TeresaandJoeS) I had too much beer. (from GriMc64) Dont you think my truck is to big? (from LolJameslol) I hate John Deere. (from Redneckbaby) Oh, that ain't a dog that's my pet mule. (from TStormy757) I don't think I want a gun rack in my truck, they are just too tacky. (from Albion1977) Elivis who? (from BluZmbie) I'm glad the South didn't win. (from JeremyJ78) No more Tobasco, it's too hot. (from JeremyJ78) Did you get the new Snoop Doggy Dogg CD yet? (from JeremyJ78) I wish Hank Williams Jr. and George Jones would quit drinkin'. (from JeremyJ78) Come in kids, it's too cold. (from Teen8784) Today is my first day back to school (since I quit in 3rd grade). (from CoolManMike2006) I'm too drunk to go huntin'. (from Teen8784) Give me a Coke. (from Teen8784) Don't run that deer over. (from Teen8784) Kids, stop playin' with those matches. (from Teen8784) I'm tired of beer. (from Teen8784) My CB antenna is too high. (from Teen8784) Go outside to spit. (from Teen8784) Turn your head to cough. (from Teen8784) Hope I don't get caught doin' this. (from Teen8784) Quit spittin'. (from Teen8784) The death sentence?! That's a little harsh don't you think? (from Myerslaue) I don't think your brushing your teeth in the back enough son. (from Myerslaue) My tires are big enough. (from Redneckgal0200) Drinking is pointless. (from Redneckgal0200) Honey your jeans are too tight. (from Redneckgal0200) I wasn't confused by the election ballot. (from Joann R.) I voted for the candidate I meant to vote for and just one time. (from Joann R.) Pass the soap. (from Myerslaue) I am a city boy! (from Kateredneck2004) What color are my teeth? (from Kateredneck2004) Who is Richard Petty? (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) That gun's too big for me to shoot. (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) Slow down, you're drivin' too fast. (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) NASCAR racing is boring. (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) I don't drink. (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) Fishin' is boring. (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) I don't like huntin'. (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) I think deer tastes nasty. (from MUDRIDINCOWBOY) Yo! (from Girlsloveme67863) Slow down there's an armadillo in the road. (from Myerslaue) I missed the deer by a mile. (from LIFEISPEACHY000) Honey, kick the dog out of the bed. (from Sam Lawson) It wasnt me that farted. (from Sam Lawson) I left my shotgun at home. (from Sam Lawson) Smokin' and drinkin's bad for your health! (from Dixiedarlin1986) Son I don't want that gun rack put in your go-kart. (from DRDREw5143) What's up my homey? (from DRDREw5143) No thank you, I don't want any Skoal. (from DRDREw5143) Son, speak proper English. (from DRDREw5143) Excuse me madame. (from DRDREw5143) I don't believe in spanking my children. (from DRDREw5143) I don't like Dale Earnhart anymore. (from DRDREw5143) Honey, we need a new hard drive for the computer. (from DRDREw5143) I ain't touched a beer in a week. (from PRINE16) Honey I am too tired for sex. (from Supercowboy86) Leave the cooler at home. (from Supercowboy86) I want "Romeo and Juilet" instead of "Hustler." (from Supercowboy86) I need directions. (from Supercowboy86) Do I smell ok? (from Supercowboy86) Stop them two dogs, they're gonna kill each other. (from bayou220l) Son, you better not drink that 40 then go to the rifle range. (from KnightofNi62) The Dukes of Hazzard is dumb because the characters are immature. (from KnightofNi62) Yankee? Sure we would love fer you to stay! (from LITMISREDNECK) I don't like grits. (from LITMISREDNECK) I think they should take the Dukes of Hazzard off the air, it's getting boring. (from Hazzardfan1) The color of the General Lee is ugly. (from Hazzardfan1) Duct tape won't fix that. (from Teen8784) I don't chew. (from Ba185dude) I hate the country. (from Princess20011201) How can anyone keep a car jacked up on blocks? (from BRANDONCYOTE) Remember, keep the chickens out of the front yard. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Don't bring that Elvis TV tray in my house. (from BRANDONCYOTE) I want my yard to be the best kept one in the block. (from BRANDONCYOTE) I will never wear blue jeans. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Don't play that country music in my house. (from BRANDONCYOTE) How can people listen to Bluegrass music? (from BRANDONCYOTE) How can anyone drink moonshine? (from BRANDONCYOTE) What is a still? (from BRANDONCYOTE) I hate cowboy boots. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Why do you want all those lights on your truck? (from BRANDONCYOTE) Honey, two children is a big enough family. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Now why does anyone need a coon dog? (from BRANDONCYOTE) What is a moon pie? (from BRANDONCYOTE) I hate cowboy hats. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Don't bring that dog in the house. (from BRANDONCYOTE) How can he marry his cousin? (from BRANDONCYOTE) Who could sleep with their sister? (from BRANDONCYOTE) Let's paint the house. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Let's get rid of the truck, it's starting to rust. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Please, don't park in the yard. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Put curtains on the bedroom window, not a blanket or a sheet. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Those tires are too big for my truck. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Just a simple truck, I don't want to draw attention. (from BRANDONCYOTE) I do not want to see a gun in my house. (from BRANDONCYOTE) I don't think I could hurt a deer. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Let's talk, fighting gets you nowhere. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Don't let that dog in my truck. (from BRANDONCYOTE) We should buy the car, not the truck. (from BRANDONCYOTE) What do I need a truck for? (from BRANDONCYOTE) Remember kids, be like Dad, say "No" to beer. (from BRANDONCYOTE) I don't want to live in a trailer. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Education and family values are everything. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Never chew tobacco, smoke, or use snuff. (from BRANDONCYOTE) Never have more children than you can afford. (from BRANDONCYOTE) What are food stamps? (from BRANDONCYOTE) Hank Williams Jr. wasn't really all that good of a singer. (from the_marlboro_man_84) I think I'll have a non-alcoholic beer. (from Teen8784) No honey, you sit down and I'll do the cooking tonight. (from NKTrojan78) Turn it to the home shopping network. (from RebelNBrighton) Honey do you think this tube top is too tight? (from TSBALSAMO)

ok so here it is if u read this i wanna know what u think ... ok so me an my brother was havning this talk about spirits an ghosts , which are the same k well do u think they really are here with us ??

OK, so its like middle of dec right an christmas is right around the corner,,, im soo not ready for it lol it dont even feel like christmas...

INFP General Imagine a deep lush valley, caressed by flowers and trees that eternally blossom, inhabited by animals that serve as gentle companions and by people who spend their days loving, creating, and selflessly serving humanity. This is the world of the rare (only about 3 percent of the population) Idealistic Philosopher: the person who is forever striving to live in a perfect world where love and harmony abound. INFP when in love As an idealistic Philosopher, you believe that love requires a profound emotional and spiritual connection. You may also believe that, to attain this desired state, you will have to endure a great deal of pain and sacrifice. Yet all the suffering will be worth it once you find your perfect love. When that blessed day comes, you will be a complete person, as you and your partner will work together to make the world a better place. In the beginning of a relationship, you tend to idealize your mate as the greatest person in the world; you'd easily give up your life for him or her. Later, when reality intrudes, you may find yourself disappointed as you realize that no real human being can match the fantastic images of love and romance you created in your imagination. Fortunately, despite your disillusionment, you somehow recover and begin to accept the flaws of your partner, ever so slowly, while still wishing you could change him or her into the perfect image you had when you first fell in love. INFP where to meet Where can you meet an Idealistic Philosopher? Idealistic Philosophers love writing, psychology, the arts, and relationships, and are drawn to activities that involve a crusade or mission. You can bump into them at bookstores, especially in sections related to the preceding topics. You can also find Idealistic Philosophers at the theater, art galleries, and museums - often walking slowly, by themselves, lost in their thoughts.

please send me some love an vote for my pic!!!

SLOW DANCE Have you ever watched kids On a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain Slapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly's erratic flight? Or gazed at the sun into the fading night? You better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last. Do you run through each day On the fly? When you ask How are you? Do you hear the reply? When the day is done! Do you lie in your bed With the next hundred chores Running through your head? You'd better slow down Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last Ever told your child, We'll do it tomorrow? And in your haste, Not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch, Let a good friendship die Cause you never had time To call and say,"Hi" You'd better slow down. Don't dance so fast. Time is short. The music won't last When you run so fast to get somewhere You miss half the fun of getting there. When you worry and hurry through your day, It is like an unopened gift.... Thrown away. Life is not a race. Do take it slower Hear the music Before the song is over. --------------------------------------------------- Body: This poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a New York Hospital. It! was sent by a medical doctor. Dear All: PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know - even to those you don't know! It is the request of a special girl who will soon leave this world due to cancer. This young girl has 6 months left to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to live their life to the fullest, since she never will. She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a family of her own.