Maj's blog: "short writings"

repair me not! there is only one word that causes pain, especially when you must explain being hurt an feeling sad, remeberng times that you needed then bad. give it everthing you've got, share a lil if you've got alot, am i only of all the others, that you choose to call your friends or lovers? i dont know what to do or say, it hurts much more each passng day. i cry to remeber the times taht we shared, knowing my feelings cannot be repaired... nice to know .. its nice to know they love you. when they turn their heads away. an its good to know they'll be there, when they dont have time to stay. it's nice to have somebody, who can cover all your fears when they make you nkow ther're trying they want to dry your tears. and when you ask a question, they'll always understand its nice to have some one to love, yes, isnt it grand? lost pain. alone an feeling satisfied, at the thought of being me. and i knew that i must play it straight. to be happy an be free, trying to remeber the words to a song, that i used to sing before. all about a broken heart singing the blues, i cant remember it anymore. what's the use in trying to make you see, why i feel the way i feel? but i know that you'll appreciate my showing all the feelings that are real.

good-bye. its hard enough to say this, so please dont make me cry i really dont want to say it Good-bye... i ran into an old friend, an he needs some one to care. i promised him i'd be around, im trying to convince myself, that i really have to go. i love you, yet i love him too. what i feel, you could not know. id loke to stay beside you, but you see, im in despair. i promised, dont you understand? i promised id be there..

memories. i loved hearing ur voice, i loved feeling your skin, i loved olding you close to me, i cried when it came to an end! if god made love, an made it true, then why does he allow heartbreaks, an make us feel blue. i see you everyday, with your beautiful face. i try to smile an play it off, but i die standing their in my place. i remeber when i held you close, so close i could feel your breath. but now i can't hold you close. an my heart is torn out, bleeding, my life is lonely, lonely with out you, all fo our memories is all i have to old on to!

The Toy.. These are the ramblings of a broken toy, A fallen idol of a parent's plaything The freak rebirthed in adult pain, The judgmental afterbirth of self scorn... Sorry sir. Hopeful as a man in hell, Just dont ask an i wont tell, My face so silent with a frown, Sorry sir, I've let you down. All i know. I dont know love because everything i felt was fake. Just a mock of lies to make me believe, Make me the fool, Embarrasments i have gone threw just of this, A bunch of lies, Fake smiles, an meaningless actions!!!! Love forbidden. So dizzy, hazzy can some one sae me kiss me make me cry touch my face an i die, hold me, i feel safe its only u i crave I say "i love you" as i rage let me out of this cage, hidding in the darkI let you in my heart my love for you is like fire i know i'm what you desiar... Depression... cry out an no one hears fall down an none cares, to be abused an with out reason, feeling ashamed throught every season. The cruel we do! how can people be so cruel , in a world thats cruel enough, meanful an hurtful things flow from person to person, n yet onone stos to think of the damage it causes how can people be so cruel. the cruel that we do!

There's that girl with those empty eyes, you know, I've never seen her cry, She hides her face beneath black hair, I've felt her touch, Theres nothing there Her voice, it sounds so distant and hollow, Though seldom heard, it's hard to follow. Sometimes i wonder what her life is for, you think someone would want much more... Oh, sure she wants, there is no doubt, But often times she does without. I bet she longs to be set free. you ask me how i know well that girl is me!

A rose offered with gentle kisses beneath a tempest, my hand you take a kiss layed gently Upon it, your haunting eyes a nocturnal heart, pumping dark blood, embrace me tonight Dark prince, let me be your subservient mairly an fulfill your hellion desires....

(NOW REMEMBER THEY ARE ONLY SHORT POEMS OK NO KNOCKING ) "SWEET INSANITY" All these friendships have been wasted. In the tears that she has tasted, an nothing ever seems quite right.when she is all alone at night!" THE DARKNESS OF ME! Deep inside me there is a darkness, a darkness i cant explain, deep inside my dark heart there is joy an there is pain. how do i love some one so much that i feel pain? "AN ODE TO MY PAIN" The burning of the heat against my skin, leaves a blister,only time can mend! the pain grows sharper as my blood pours out, it'll go away soon, with out a doubt!!! "YOU" We walked through hell took a stroll through heaven you turned your back one me faster then i coud get back up on my feet!

JUST LIL UNFINISHED ONE'S THERE REALLY OLD FROM LIKE YEARS AGO. 'Deep into that darkness peering' long i stiid there , wondeering fearing, doubting,dreaming,dreams no mortal ever dreamed before! dARKNESS OVER COMES I CAN FEEL THE PAIN IT OVER TAKES MY SOUL, IT BLEEDS AS MY HEART BREAKS!! "LOST WORLD" Dreams shattered, Tears streaming down one's face, memories flashing, a past never to be replaced nor forgotten..