Juicylilfatgirl's blog: "JOTDM"

Demented Angel Angel engulfed in shadows, robbed of flight, grounded, she voids herself of light. walking in the darkness, she witnesses time curse the damned. tears of blood trickle but never find the ground. she weeps for the weary that sorrow has shown her. whispering on the night breeze, fear not as I have feared. plunge not for darkness escapes no one. cry with me, for I have seen the blackness in your soul. I know that which you seek to hide from those easily decieved. I am the angel of the damned, but once like you. oh how I desire the dawn and fear eternity in this place. written by S.L.Ghanem copyright 09/26/05

I Can. As life passes me by, I can can almost see my mistakes before they are made. I can see love when it passes me by. I can feel the rain on my face, hear the thunder in the distance and know that I am so small in the wonder of it all. I can hear beauty in a melody that captivates me. I can cry because I know, that I will make things alright. I can hear a song and see the years turn back. I can hope because I know that it will keep me going through the rough times. I can embrace the loneliness because it has been my truest friend. I can lie to the world but never to myself. I can wish all I want, but know that if I truely wish for something it is up to me to grant it. I can dream because, I know a world without them is unthinkable. I can desire love, because I know I will never find it. Written by S.L.Ghanem copyright 6/06/04

Immortal until Death I see you standing there, with the sun in your eyes, and your skin aglow, from the reflection of the sun. Your hair blowing in the wind catching the light, turnng the blonde strans to copper. night now the moon steals the sky, as the chill of night creeps upon your shoulders, causing your lips to tremble. You are Immortal here. Never aging, Never changing. Oh how I ponder why my memory always portrays you this way, The hunger in your eyes, the passion in your touch, the warmth in your embrace, and the taste of love on your lips, Immortal you will remain, as you are painted in my dreams. For some reason, I cannot let myself let you go. I will not chase you from memories. Something so pure, can never leave, just give the illusion of going. Like a star, Can you see me, even though my light has burned out? I lure death in, but it fails to take my bate, Even death itself, Must envy my hate.

I am searching, though for what, I am never quite sure. I am lost in thoughts that sometimes seem to consume me. instead of embracing life and moving on. I sink deeper inside myself to a place where only my deamons can annoy me. sometimes I feel locked in box of glass and the world is in fast forward all around me. all eyes on me, everyone watching waiting for me to fuck up. alone in what seems to be my own twisted reality show staring me, in a screenplay written by me, (and people have doubted my temporary insanity)...I have the answers to every problem I will ever have, ever again in my life the problem is I haven't thought of it yet. But I am sure my fairytale. instead of ending with "Happy ever After" Will end with "And they doubled her medication, tightened her restraints, as she screamed in silence for all that she wished she could say in her demented hours darkness" Just Loud Thoughts, S.L. Ghanem

Portrait of a painted fool On the wall, half way down the hall where I see you passing by... you often smile at me, seldom you cry... I see you getting older, pity for myself, I cannot die across from me, a window, that leads to another world over the years my tattered dress no longer swirls I count the seasons here, that never seem to change... my clothes remain torn rags, so young and full of life, in a cage... oh how old I feel behind this plastered beauty you portrayed... Locked within my wooden frame, I shall rot on these walls on which I hang. ans she who shares my face,the one I am painter for is gone and shall return no more... to shed these tears that are hidden beyond my smile, to be in your world, just for alittle while... faling flakes of pearl, will never touch my skin... for these endless autume days always chase the seasons away A picture tells a thousand stories... and oh what I tale I could tell... for someone who painted me so full of happiness you obviously didn't know me very well.... the end Written by S.L. Ghanem copyright 12/05/2000

Nocturnal Reign Lonely does the night seem As I walk along a broken dream Things are different Yet I remain unchanged All alone am I, under this nocturnal rain Invisible Droplets fall from the sky, And mix with the tears that stream down my face Forgetting my own worth I hide in the shadows of nocturnal grace I wander through this lost Kingdom With the cloak of darkness as my shield Refusing to surrender, refusing to yield With ironic Coincidence The sky Clashes like a mountain plunders to the ground Seconds later Darkness becomes dawn As if it were given permission by that sound Is there another that shares this pain or hunger, as I do, for the thunder and rain? Through a veil of tears can you see my pain? Powered by Insanity, with darkness as my throne, I am Alone In this kingdom I am ruler And all those, that appose With hate, make no mistake I am more vicious and crueler There is no price for freedom A shame for even freedom isn?t free Only behind my walls, can it be seen Never can I open my gates Never can I invite you in And only in your demented dreams Can you ever imagine where I?ve been Forever on my head, rests my crown of pain Forgotten I am In my nocturnal reign Written by S.L.Ghanem Copyrighted 10/05/1992