CRAZY AUNTIE BITCH's blog: "jokes frineds sent me too my email"

Grandma Prostitute > >Lulu was a prostitute. One day there was a raid. All the prostitutes were >lined up outside the police station as they took them in one by one. > >As Lulu stood in line, she saw her Grandma coming down the street and was >so ashamed. Grandma didn't know her occupation. > >Grandma stopped to say hi, and asked what the line was for. >Lulu, saving face, said that the police were giving away fresh oranges to >those waiting. > >Grandma said wonderful, she loved oranges and got at the end of the line. > >When the policeman got to the end and saw her, he was amazed. He said >"How the heck do you do this at your age?" > >She said "I just take out my teeth, rip the skin back and suck'em dry!" > >The policeman fainted.

>Tough Day In Hell >One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in >despair, >he has his first meeting with the devil... >Satan: Why so glum? >Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell! >Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You a >drinking man? >Guy: Sure, I love to drink. >Satan: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all we do is >drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab and Fresca. We drink >till we throw up and then we drink some more! And you don't have to worry >about getting a hangover, because you're dead anyway. >Guy: Gee, that sounds great! >Satan: You a smoker? >Guy: You better believe it! >Satan: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from >all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer - no biggie, >you're already dead, remember? >Guy: Wow... that's awesome! >Satan: I bet you like to gamble. >Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do. >Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, >Roulette, Poker, Slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt...it doesn't matter, >you're dead anyhow. >Guy: Cool! >Satan: What about Drugs? >Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean... >Satan: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big >bowl >of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all >the drugs you want. You're dead, who cares. >Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place! >Satan: You Queer? >Guy: No... >Satan: Ooooh, Fridays are gonna be tough.

And not get slapped 01. Talk about a huge breast! 02. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 03. It's Cool Whip time! 04. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst! 05. That's one terrific spread! 06. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat. 07. Are you ready for seconds yet? 08. Its a little dry, do you still want to eat it? 09. Just wait your turn, you'll get some! 10. Don't play with your meat. 11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in. 12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once? 13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once! 14. You still have a little bit on your chin. 15. How long will it take after you stick it in? 16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up. 17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that! 18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!