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Imagine three handjobs. Handjobs are never the acme of sexual experience, but it takes some skill to perform one well.
In the first case, the handjob is masterful: no abrasion of soft skin, no unnecessary brutality, everything always lubricated, the giver dextrous, sensitive to subtle changes in response. Kablooey. That is a good handjob.
In the second case, a rabid gorilla enters the room and tears your membrum virile right off. It is moving to tear your face off before it is tranquilized by zookeepers. That is a spectacularly bad handjob.
Both will get some kind of rise out of the recipient: an experience will be had — one of sufficient intensity to command attention.
In the third case, a bearded fop takes a mostly-flaccid appendage and strokes it awkwardly for an unconscionably long time. His efforts lack the violence of the second handjob and the transcendent execution of the first. You lie there. Maybe this will get better. Maybe if I think about something else, something very titillating. Yes, I'll contemplate Donald Rumsfeld. Time passes. Waves break on the shore. The wind blows. Tumbleweeds wheel across the road. Eventually, one realizes one has abrasions on one’s prepuce from too much gentle and inexpert stroking — but one notices these harms only when one emerges from a profound reverie about events and concepts in one’s accounting class. Whatever tumescence one has achieved vanishes with the memory of accounting class.
Nickelback are that third handjob.
 GriZ: OK .. so back to MLB -- AL Round 1 Yanks and Boston both win .. Advance to Round 2 and Yanks Win ---- NL Colorado beats AZ .... then Round 1 Dodgers and Chicago in .. Round 2 Dodgers win .. World Series Yankees Vs Dodgers and Yankees in 6 |
If you've had a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works...
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called "the world,"
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
6. Bubbles slowly float to the surface creating a gentle gurgling sound.
7. The water is crystal clear.
8. You can easily make out the face of the person you're holding underwater.
Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman.
Many females use a date-rape-drug on the market called ' Beer' .
The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs.
Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them.
A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex.
Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted.
After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred.
At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship'.In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as 'marriage'.
Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.
Please forward this warning to every male you know.
If you fall victim to this ' Beer' scam and the women administering it, there are male support groups where you can discuss the details of your shocking encounter with similarly victimized men.
For the support group nearest you, just look up 'Go Go Bars' in the phone book.
Every now and then, I look back at Griz. Who he is. Who he was and what he's been to me.
Griz is the personification of who I want to be. Carefree, reckless, fun, irresponsible, uninhibited, sometimes vengeful, sometimes unstoppable.
I created Griz at an odd time in my life. Having barely survived a divorce that devastated me, I threw myself into my writing. This wasn't the first character I had created. This was not even the second. Man is always reinventing himself, so why not reinvent who I wish I was?
Griz loves all women. ALL. It's even in my about me section:
My favorite movie quote is from the Spirit, "You're in love with every women you meet, Mr. Spirit. You say lovely things to all of us and you mean every word you say. "
But as of today .. Griz needs to be put to rest for a bit ....
