Dear uterus,
I hate you so hard right now! Unclench your fucking fisticuffs.
You're hurting me, douchebag.
As if you didn't know.
Knockitoffkthx.
Also, tell the nipple twins to simmer down, too.
That's not an awesome brand of pain they're wearing.
That'll do, pig. That'll do.
Sincerely,
Me.