petrichor badwolf's blog: "just some stuff"

in an online community i belong to..someone posted, last year about a date they had...he is getting ready to propose now.  when i read about the date itself i was glad to see that there are strong men that are not ass hats still out there.  id love to be a wild child...doing fwb or just no strings attached type shennanigans....but in the end, its not what my heart would want..and there is always that chance that i could become pregnant...i am raising one kid on my own...protection doesnt always work..and while it is possible for a man to be left as the sole parent...i think women still win in that arena.....so i stay basically celebate.  i dont have a lot of time to date..my dating would take from my being mom time as it could not take from my work time...and i really cant justify it. but thats just me...anyway...i thought this was sort of romantic...

We went to Alamo Drafthouse and saw Kick Ass 2. 
Food, Angry Orchard cider, first run movie and my hands on the girl. 

Then we went to IHOP had a fruit plate and coffee, and engaged in cute innuendo, and eye gazing. 

Then we went back to her place for tea and kisses. The tone of the night can best be summed up with an edited version of the conversation at her house. 

"Judgebot*, I am having such a great time. This is our third date, so...if you want to...." **wicked grin**

"Stop right there. We are not going to have sex tonight. Or on our next date. Or the date after that. Sex always complicates a relationship and adds fire. That's a good thing, as long as the relationship is strong enough to to endure it. But first the relationship need to be grown in strength and character. The first step is for the man to step up and steer the relationship responsibly, and the woman to love him for it."

"I think that just happened!" She laughed. 

"Exactly, so the relationship is ready for this to happen." **pushes her back to the door jam, cups a breast and kisses her deeply**

"The bottom line is, for a long term healthy relationship there are milestones in the maturity of the relationship that signal the safety of an escalating physical exchange."

"Mr. Spock, just shut up and fuck me!" **both laughing now**

"But you don't need to keep score. When the time is right, I will firmly take your hand, lead you to the bed and it will happen."

**deep kiss**

"Then a few minutes later it will happen again, which will be both a higher quality and a longer duration." **now actively trying to sound like Spock** 

**both laugh**

"Dude...that's awesome!" She laughed some more. 

"I am going to protect your heart and strengthen our relationship every day we are together."

So at that point I didn't get to say anything else as she was just kissing me nonstop. But I think I saw the moment that she fell in love. I think I saw i in her eyes. 

Post Game Review

Judgebot brought the following panty wrenches to the table:

• Security - Guy isn't after just one thing
• Safety - Guy denies himself to protect my heart
• Confidence - Guy plainly states what he is after and how he will get it
• Control - By taking control of when we were NOT going to have sex, she got to relax and just dig on me, and her body language communicated the relief immediately...paradoxically making her want to do it more than she did a few minutes ago. It turned from her (a) wanting to "give" me sex to keep my attention into (b) wanting to "have" sex with me. If you never noticed the difference before, notice it now. It's important. ALWAYS when presented option (a) take the time to turn it into option (b).

*she doesn't really call me Judgebot