Hi Twisted,
Humiliation is a favored way to begin to create the idea of control
in a Master and slave relationship, but that doesn't mean it
doesn't have its own specific ways to work well - and to not work
well for a relationship. By learning the techniques of humiliation
as well as when to use it, you can use this as an effective slave
training tool.
The trick with humiliation is that many Masters will jump right
into using this as a way to train their slaves - without any regard
to whether or not this will work for their training purposes. In
the initial discussions about slave training, the slave should have
told the Master that this is something they enjoy or it's something
that can be used to help mold their behaviors as the training
continues. When this is not discussed and simply just used at the
Master's whim, many problems can occur.
If the slave has had any background of true abuse and humiliation
(instead of this "play" usage), they can often become emotionally
scarred by its use. When you simply start humiliating the slave
and they don't want this in your relationship, it can cause them to
not trust you to keep them safe as well as to become intimidated by
you. They might revert to the slave behaviors that you want, but
you may also be crumbling them as a person outside of the
relationship.
Humiliation can take many forms in a slave training situation. It
can be public displays of humiliation or it can be done in private.
Public displays of humiliation can be as subtle as having to
address the Master as 'Master' in public settings in front of
friends or as dramatic as having the slave masturbate in a
public place. Private forms of humiliation can be as varied as
puppy training or something that involves golden showers.
But humiliation can also be done verbally by chastising the slave
when they do something wrong, creating the sense in the slave that
they have disappointed the Master in their actions. It can also
include harsh words that can cause the slave to feel badly about
themselves or certain parts of themselves. For example, by calling
someone 'slut' or 'whore,' the slave can feel like they are lower
than the Master, which can help them feel more controlled and
willing to be obedient.
Humiliation is often used as a form of punishment or during
punishment to show the slave just how disappointed the Master might
be in their actions. When used in conjunction with punishments
like whippings and bondage, it can cause the submissive to not only
feel physically controlled, but also emotionally controlled. This
is a highly effective way to reshape the way that slave is acting
or thinking about a certain situation.
What you may not realize is that humiliation isn't meant to hurt
your slave, but rather to cause them to realize that they are your
slave and someone that you wish to control in every way possible.
When you are incorporating humiliation in your BDSM relationship,
you do need to be careful to not hit any sore spots for the slave
that might irrevocably damage them. This is something that should
be discussed in the initial agreement as to what a scene or
relationship will include.
That said, humiliation is something that many slaves enjoy in a
slave training situation because it adds to the overall control and
power struggle between them and their Master. It allows them to
feel more objectified as a slave and more of a 'thing' in the
relationship.
