I figure I should start by saying that delivery is the key to getting your message across. That being said, some honest people really suck as human beings.
We all have at least one friend who loves to be known for being brutally honest. This person touts him- or herself as the person to go to when you want an honest opinion, and for that reason, this person is the best friend you'll ever have.
Well... I don't know.
"You're a stuck-up bitch" and "I don't think we have the same interests" convey similar messages. However, ladies, which would you rather hear from someone who is trying to explain why he's not into you?
Thhere is a difference between a potentially helpful-sounding comment ("Scott, I think you need to use scented soap when you shower") and an outright mean one ("You're standing in a cloud of B.O. I suggest you take several showers").
The difference here is delivery. It's not easy to have to be the bearer of bad news, nor is it desirable to be the recipient. However, too many people, under the guise of "honesty," take this time to fire off a barrage of verbal missiles, expecting a person not to get upset, only to fail miserably and wonder why people can't take honesty.
Don't get me wrong; there's nothing at all wrong with being honest. You can be brutally honest without being brutal. Helpful, unassuming, non-judgmental comments go a lot further towards getting your message across than being plain insulting or barbaric.
I've often been accused of sugarcoating what I say in order to avoid upsetting people. This may be true at times. I just find the conversation goes a lot more smoothly without the ever present threat of angering the person I'm talking to, especially when I need to address a touchy subject. If I'm coaching someone at work on the appearance of their desk area, I'd rather use "When you get a chance, could you straighten up your desk a little? Management gets kind-of touchy about these things," than "Your desk's appearance is unacceptable and you should be ashamed of yourself for keeping it that way." Anything I can do to avoid the resentment in the form of "Who the hell do you think you are?" is always a plus.
Maybe it's just me. I would rather break bad news gently to people. You don't get many chances to be honest when the person you're being honest with thinks you're a complete jerk.
