I lost a long friends on this site due to stupid reasons. One got upset caused i polished there fupony and i didnt read there status which i didnt see. They blocked me. I was forced to choose sides of friends. I couldnt be friends cause certain people in my fufamily they didnt like. Like some people said. Fubar is just a game. Some people think they are better then others and such. All i want to do is make friends. Not choose sides, I hate doing that. I dont wanna lose anymore friends.
Trying right now my hardest to raise the money just to get back to california to restart my life where i left off. Cant find any job down here in florida. Its too depressing where i am living at. Cause if i go back. I know ill have a job waiting. Cause i had a job at kmart there and they are willing to take me back. i would give up a lot things just to go back. I would take the 3 day greyhound trip back from florida to northern california. I used to live in eureka in cali. Miss it and my friends there.
After my drinking spree last night. Two bottles of bacardi and shots of rum. I was sitting on the sofa talking to my cousins older son and just broke down in front of him and told him what was on my mind. Like why i was depressed before and such. I cried a lot. Then he went to bed. I went to the bathroom and then felt sick near the sofa. Good thing they left me a bucket. Cause i threw up a lot and then passed out on the floor.
What do you do when you're stuck,
Because the one that you love,
Has pushed you away,
And you can't deal with the pain?
And now you're trying to fix me,
Mend what he did,
I'll find the piece that i'm missing,
But I still miss her,
I miss her, i'm missing her,
Oh I miss her, I miss her i'm missing her
And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But her love is still in me,
Like a broken arrow.
She's the thorn in my flesh
That I can't take out
She's stealing my breath
When you're around,
And now you're trying to convince me,
She wasn't worth it,
But you can't complete me,
She's the part that is missing,
I miss her, I'm missing her,
Oh I miss her I miss her, i'm missing her,
And you're sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But her love is still in me,
Like a broken arrow.
Like a broken arrow.
What do you do
When your heart's in two places?
You feel great but you're torn inside.
You feel love but you just can't embrace it,
When you found the right one at the wrong time.
And you're
Sitting in the front row,
Wanna be first in line,
Waiting by my window,
Giving me all your time,
You could be my hero,
If only I could let go,
But his love is still in me,
Like a broken arrow.
Right now. My mind is racing. Not the middle of the month and life is messed up again. But due to what something happened last week. I have spent thursday though sunday in jacksonville florida with some friends. One drove five hours to get me to calm me down and try get over this. I am here. 2 years without sleeping good and feeling sick. Finaly slept and feeling a bit better. I just need a new place to call home. Just hope i can find it one day
Today is Valentines Day
A day to show a love one you care
But how can you hold them kiss them console them
When no one is even there
Today is a day of us together
And not a second to be left apart
But knowing today won't bring those things
It continues to break my heart
I know I'm supposed to be happy
And I really look the part
But how can I smile
And pretend that I'm happy
When a piece is missing from my heart
Today won't change the crying
Today won't change pain
Today won't change the fact
That heartache is now a part of my name
Today for me is lonely
Today for me is untrue
Today for me is wishing
That once again I still had you
But wishes are like fairy tales
They rarely do come true
So today is a day of loneliness
And me being sad and blue
Today for you is laughing
Because to you my love is a game
So while your happy spending time with friends
I'm left to drown in pain
Today is not a day anymore
Its a waste of useless time
Today for me is
Loneliness, heartache, crying, praying
That soon again you'd be mine
All the things i used to do
Dont seem to mean much anymore
Every face and every place
Were lost along the way
Im sitting here all by mysrelf
Looking in the mirror
Holding a old photograph
Oh how it used to be
Everything comes from the heart
I believe that its true
Time changes pride from the heart
its all from the heart
all the words i used to say
Dont mean much anymore
Every hurt and every word
Were bought along the way
Im sitting here all by myself
Looking out the window
Im playing a old record
The same old melody
Every word comes from the heart
I believe that its true
Times mends each hurt from the heart
its all from the heart
theres no need to hide inside
The old world anymore
Youre standing here right next to me
I turn to you and smile
Love it begins from the heart
I believe its true
Time mends each hurt from the heart
I believe its true
Every word comes from the heart
I believe its true